Mildly Unsettling Commentary & Occasional Literary Confrontation

Palindrome

Palindrome
Location
Santa Cruz, California,
Birthday
September 15
Bio
Essayist. Recovering poet. Mother of a small wonder. What else can I say? I write here about parenting, politics, pop culture, and other parenthetical particulars. Only half of my name is a palindrome...

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FEBRUARY 6, 2009 3:14PM

Redshirting: More Parenting in the Age of Anxiety

Rate: 33 Flag



The way I see it, you can either congratulate me or pity me. Today I marched into a new field of knowledge, or experience, and, when you really boil it down, anxiety that I didn’t quite realize I was headed into. And all I did was attend a parent orientation at the public school in which my daughter might be a kindergarten student in the fall.

Consequently, I added a new word to my vocabulary: redshirting.

Some of you probably already know this term from sports, but it appears that I have been blissfully ignorant of it. The practice of academic redshirting simply refers to the more recent trend, albeit among more educated and affluent folks (I fit into the first category only), to wait until their child is older to start them in formal schooling. The benefits, so I am being told, are having a child who is more emotionally and academically ready for kindergarten. This gives children like my daughter, who would be among the youngest in her class, an advantage.

And who doesn’t want the best for their kids?

A couple of weeks ago, before I knew what it was called or that it was controversial, I was all for it. Why not wait until she is bit older and let her be more emotionally ready for the “big world” before she is thrust into it? With state budget cuts at hand, and classroom sizes about to increase from 20 to 30—that means one teacher is responsible for 30 children—do I really want to put her into a situation in which she might be falling behind simply because of her age and developmental stage?

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She is a bright and outgoing child, and I don’t really fear for her “success” in the larger sense. But, I reasoned, giving her any advantage at all can’t be a bad thing. As I tossed the idea around in my head, with the support of her preschool teacher who has suggested that it is not such a bad idea to have kids wait another year, I realized that so much of our decision making as parents is based more on our own good or bad experience as kids and less on what is being asked of our children.

Another way of saying this is that I went to Catholic school and I never really liked school until I was much older—let’s say until college actually—and so I want to do the best I can to make sure she doesn’t have the same experience as I did. I know times have changed, and classrooms are different, and she is not going to be “left behind” because she has parents who are very invested in her future, academically and emotionally.

But the seed of fear is still inside of me with these new decisions I need to make: Am I setting her up for a difficult school experience if she is too young? Or am I participating in the elitist white practice of trying to make sure my daughter is a “step above the rest” by waiting until she is older, and therefore more academically and emotionally “advanced.”

So I did some reading. Some studies suggest there are many benefits to being older than others when you start school, but others suggest there are not. Some say there may be social and behavioral disadvantages to being older than most of your classmates, for instance you just might not fit in as well.

And many experts say that the practice of redshirting creates problems for schools because it grossly widens the range of skills in your typical kindergarten class. And, most obviously, the practice of redshirting will widen the age group from just-turned-five to well into six. Here’s the other thing. Because it is mostly affluent families doing this, this means poor children, who may already be starting kindergarten “behind,” may seem even more behind if some of their classmates have these class advantages, and they're nearly a year older.

Ok, so welcome to the world. It can’t all be perfect, I know.

Kindergarten, essentially, is just about socialization. And that’s all I wanted it to be for my daughter, who is already pretty well socialized from her preschool experiences. But I also see that I am making decisions about her entire future here. Granted this isn’t a make-or-break situation, and I am grateful for that advantage to start out with. It doesn’t help that I just read the Malcolm Gladwell book Outliers: The Story of Success, which I wrote about here on OS, which supports the theory that age has everything to do with future well-being and success.

Having observed that the older children in the class or sports team fare much better than those who are younger, thereby setting up a future of recognition and merit ("wow! you are really smart" = confidence = success) that the younger kids tend not to fall into, you could argue that Gladwell’s evidence supports the theory of redshirting. But being armed with this knowledge doesn’t make things any easier for me. In fact, it makes my decision more difficult.

Standards for kindergarten are already much higher than they ever were. And this creates many problems. To start with, it makes the gap between the advantaged and the disadvantaged even larger. My mother was a Head Start teacher for 35 years, so I am well aware of the differences that children begin their lives with and what this does to them emotionally.

Perhaps I will look back at all of this some day and realize that none of it matters. But the bottom line is, I am not trying to get my daughter on the Harvard track here. I am not looking for her to stand out from the crowd. I am simply trying to make a decision that will make her academic experience a pleasant and fruitful one. I am considering her well-being in the world.

Am I doing this to for her or to placate myself is another can of worms, I suppose. Perhaps both. I just know how essential a good school experience is to the rest of your life. And, as we move past the Information age, the demands on her are going to be many.

I am thankful that she will begin her formal school experience within the Obama administration, and the horrendous No Child Left Behind business will thankfully be left behind—ideally in the garbage can. In fact, I am quite happy that the Bush administration will all be a blur to her and that our current administration, and of course his historical inauguration, will be the first that she remembers.

But there is still the economy, and the impending budget cuts, which might very well send my public-school aspirations into the garbage along with my ideals. But I am holding out, for the time being, and hoping that my tax dollars and my willingness to participate in her school, will mean something after all.

I am hopeful, for now.

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You will have an easier go of it if you can come to acceptance with the fact that you cannot "make a decision that will make her academic experience a pleasant and fruitful one." You simply can't do that. There are no guarantees. You can put her in the best position for a good experience, but you cannot *make* it a good experience. So give yourself a break, breathe, and know that you can change the situation as you go along.
Interesting post. I was not familiar with "redshirting" and I will be unintentionally doing this, I guess, because of her birthday. Enrollment stops at Sept. 1 so she will be a year older than most of her classmates. And we simply cannot afford preschool right now. I was feeling bad- like this would be to her disadvantage- maybe it will be an advantage. Who knows? So much to worry about and so little time. ;-)
I don't know about this Redshirting practice. I was skipped a year ahead (was almost skipped 2 years ahead but they though my being 5 in 2nd grade might be too much) and really liked being younger than everyone else and at the top of my class, at least until college. So there is something to be said for the other position.
Interesting, I'm so glad I came across this - we're fighting our own battles with this right now - dealing with a 10 yr old that has a tough time of school emotionally & mentally, though he knows the work & can perform just fine... but the workload, expectations, and just general "standards" from NCLB plus our state standards (thanks to the 'other' Bush) have caused him to hate school, his grades to go from A's and B's to D's and F's.

I find it interesting that so many other countries have policies of "redshirting" so to speak - many of the countries that we trail behind in academics come college time actually don't start formal teaching until 7 yrs old or later. Until then, it's all about creativity, manners, socialization, etc. Here... we're testing them in Kindergarten, and making little to no strides in the way of how well they're coming out in the end. So most of what I personally have read about "redshirting" has more to do with the long term benefits, not so much in them having the upper hand against younger kids, but just because by the time they enter formal education, they're more well equipped to absorb it all. I also think the inherent differences in the way they are taught in areas and by parents who allow them that time to mature have a significant impact...
Anyways - I do feel you can play a heavy role in how well your child will enjoy school & how fruitful their educational experience will be... I just wish I had that magic wand or crystal ball. We struggle so much with our 10 year old and it pains me. He cries, is overly emotional, has tantrums, yet he's quite bright. He passes all the standard screenings and tests and evaluations with flying colors, so they simply label him ADD. It's an uphill battle for sure. And now - we're facing some of the same grizzly decisions you are with our 2 yr old - who barely misses the cutoff, and will make her the oldest in her class just entering the year she normally would. We wonder if holding her another year might prevent problems, or cause more than it solves.
I hope you find the answers youre looking for, it's a tough call, and sometimes you have to go with your gut, and accept that our gut is usually but not always right, and nobody knows your child better than you.
My daughter's birthday is September 9 and we struggled with this. Typically the cut-off is September 1 and many kids with August, July, June, May, April, etc birthdays wait until the following year.

In the end, we sought to have her start on the early side. We worried about her getting bored and not be motivated.

She's in kindergarten now and we're happy we didn't wait. Yes, she struggles a bit that she's not "the best" at some things (particularly physical tasks). She's on the short side too, so that's a little rough being the little kid. She's also not the most socially adept (though she can hold her own in a group.) Even so, she's making friends and excelling at school. We're reading words right now and it's wonderful.

The decision really depends on the individual child. In our case, it was the right choice.
Of course i am torn between believing what kh3333 says, "you cannot "make a decision that will make her academic experience a pleasant and fruitful one." You simply can't do that. There are no guarantees" and what the rest of you have said, which is that it is a very decision, with real consequences.

I am happy to hear other parents deconstructing this, too.
This is a tough decision, and you know your daughter best. I have a very young kindergarten boy, and we're struggling with maturity issues. But then again, so is the boy who was redshirted and is a year ahead.

I have gotten so much grief from people because I didn't redshirt him. From my backhanded-complimenting stepdaughter who regrets not redshirting her own son. (Honestly, though, my 5-year-old is more mature than her 11-year-old.) From the parents of other redshirted children who applaud their own decisions.

Interestingly enough, NOT from his teacher, and she's the one dealing first-hand with the maturity issues. She is the one who says that he absolutely belongs in kindergarten, that there is no way she will allow him to repeat kindergarten for maturity reasons, and that he's already on a 2nd grade level academically, so holding him back a year would have made that worse.

So, go with your heart, accept your decision, and ignore the well-meaning (or not well-meaning, in the case of some) comments. Whatever you do, you're doing what's best for your daughter, and you're giving it serious thought.
Her Maj was born Sept. 2, missing the cutoff by one day. I thought very seriously about pushing her forward with a birthdate waiver, the only thing that scared me was that so many people in my area redshirt their kids. I don't mind her being the youngest by a year - at this point she is socially secure and academically advanced, but being the youngest by up to 2 years, I have a problem with.

Now fate has stepped in, in the form of ADD, so another year of kindergarten (she currently goes to a private Montessori school) is probably a good thing.
Palindrome, your daughter has the only advantage she will ever need: a mother who loves her, engages with her academically, and who looks out for her interests. Foreward/Backward, who can tell what the final consequences are of any of our choices, but dogman's suggestion that you go with your heart, sounds like a great one to me.

Plus, if it helps any, girls are generally ahead of boys at this age, so unless the class is all girls, I can't see that it would make much difference either way.
Of course I will go with my heart, but I can't help being confused about what I am doing for her vs. what reality I am pushing her into.
Does your daughter have an opinion about it? Does she have any friends who would be starting school with her, either this year or the next? Does she seem itchy to start school, or would she rather hang back doing what she's been doing for another year?

Also, do you worry about her being bored later, intellectually, if she's the oldest in the class?

Sorry for all the questions, I just find the whole topic fascinating for some reason. I feel like when I was young, it was all the thing to have your kid skip ahead grades. Now it seems that most people, when given the choice, wait it out and keep their kids back in lower grades. I don't know why I find that fascinating, but I do!

(rated)
Good post. My daughter has a late August birthday and I started her in kindergarten at five. She is now 20 and doing great, though I know that's not necessarily relevant.

I was reading about this issue lately somewhere (NY Times maybe). I remember the point about how this decision, when widely shared, will impact the tax base in the future, being that, kids who start school a year later, will also start working a year later, after college or high school. Apparently it's something economists are pondering.

Dang, eh?
As a mom of a redshirted boy who is now a 9-year-old third grader, I offer some advice that helped me. (1) My mom, who taught high school for 30 years, said she could always spot the youngest children in a given class, even in high school. She voted for redshirting. (2) I've yet to meet a parent who redshirted a child and regrets it. (3) It's not a race. There are no advantages to starting early and finishing early.

As you mention. Kindergarten used to be all about socialization. Now, many districts teach reading in Kindie, and won't promote to first grade if reading isn't mastered. And there are lots of schools that assign homework in Kindergarten!

Let her be a child for one more year. Once school starts, it's a constant. It's always there, and more and more of it comes home -- homework, projects, school events. It becomes all-consuming!
" LH writes: It's not a race. There are no advantages to starting early and finishing early."

You are right. Excellent point. Unless you are bored, but who has a chance to be bored anymore? Does that even exist?
I'm with the first poster--whichever way you choose, you cannot guarantee a good experience for your daughter.

Forget when your daughter was born, forget her physical size in relation to her classmates...is she ready to do the work? What is kindergarten like in your area? Is it very academic, or do the kids play, eat graham crackers, and take a nap? What does YOUR daughter want to do? Is she itching to go to "real" school, indifferent, or absolutely terrified?

In the end, the difference in the kids' ages tends to even out. More important factors like study skills, home life, and just plain innate intelligence take priority. There's obviously a big difference in physical, emotional, and mental maturity between a newborn and a 1-year-old. However, those differences may well be reversed by the time those same children are 11 and 12 years old. Likewise, the top of the senior class aren't necessarily the oldest students, nor are the bottom performers the youngest.

BTW, I was one of the youngest students in my kindergarten class of 30, taught by a woman who was going through a difficult pregnancy and who didn't want to be there at all and who took an active dislike to me. I went on to first grade, which was taught by a sadist and I don't say that lightly. Mrs. Fields had absolutely no idea what was normal behavior for six-year-olds and was a big fan of public humiliation (including of the class' mentally retarded student) and of hitting us upside the head with hardback books for daydreaming in class.

So no, school was not a good experience for me until starting in high school. But that had nothing to do with my age, and somehow I still managed to do well academically throughout.

(Years ago, I saw a comic strip in which a man was getting on his son's case because the boy was nine years old, but his teacher said he was only reading at a seven-year-old level. The boy's retort was that his father was 36, and no one cared if he only read at a 34-year-old level. Food for thought...)
I was a gifted kid, skipped a number of grades and ultimately went away to a school with other gifted girls. The theme there that came out over and over was that these girls were bored and miserable in public school. Yes, yes, absolutely, bright kids get bored. And it can destroy their love of learning and make them hate school.

I think redshirting is most successful with boys, who tend to mature more slowly than girls. My parents redshirted my (much younger) brother, and it was undoubtedly the right choice for him.

But I think if your daughter is really as bright and mature as you describe, she's likely ready for kindergarten. Holding a bright kid back is not without risks.
Palindrome, Please go in and sit in on some classes to see what goes on in your school's Kindergarten. You will make a better determination based on that, although of course you will need to understand that the kids you see there will be older and have been through 1/2 a year of it by now. Still, if it looks like the stuff they are doing is well within your daughter's cognitive capability (as I suspect will be the case for a daughter of yours), then you must acknowledge that to hold her back is to put her in that situation two whole years from now, when she is perhaps way beyond those skills.

People think they know so much about their schools. Everywhere I go, people tell me confidently that their school or school district is "the best in the state" or "one of the best in the nation." It's amazing. I'm in schools every day, and you might be surprised at what you find. The more you are in there, the better basis for your decision. I have three children and we have used every available option: Montessori, charter, public, self-contained gifted, Jesuit, and even home schooling for one child one year. My kids are bright and well adjusted with good friends and interests. I've not moved them as much as it looks on that list, given that there are three of them and the moves have sometimes been natural breaks like from public junior high to the Jesuit high school. I now teach in schools--both public and charter--and sometimes I wonder if your first commenter didn't have it exactly right.
Hmm. I didn't want to imply there weren't consequences, not that you shouldn't think about it. I just meant to be gentle with yourself because neither this decision nor any ther deicsion you make, will guarantee her happiness in school or lack thereof. There are far more chances (and requirements) to revist, recalibrate and just "do-over" in the upcoming years than I would have expected before I got in the game. Make this decision based on your daughter and your family in terms of readiness for Kindergarten now, not based on how it might affect her college work.
Hi!! Awesome post that is a hot topic in our home right now. I really am inclined to redshirt my 4-yr-old son, in Jr. K right now, and will turn 5 in mid August. He still wants to play, and I want him with me until he is 18, not moving out of the house and off to college at 17. The only difficult issue is that he is academically ready. He is reading sentences and can be very focused. But he is also soooo immature at times too - he's 4!!!!! I had two of my three sisters graduate at 17 and they both agree that they would have preferred more time before being thrust into the world. Friends in their own grade were dating, driving, etc... and they were a year too young.... Good luck with your decision, many of us share in your frustrations!
My son will be 5 next month, and it's going to be a horrible disappointment to him that he won't be leaving pre-school and marching into his kindergarten classroom the very next day. He is ready for kindergarten, and so excited to start. Your daughter may have an opinion on kindergarten, too. Does she think it will be fun to go? Are all her friends going? Would she prefer to stay in her pre-school? Is she frightened of the prospect of having to attend "big kid school"? You probably know already.

I am not a fan of redshirting. It is stylish now, especially for boys. But the current thinking is that school is not suited to boys' ways of learning, and redshirting helps them cope. It wasn't too long ago that school was considered poorly suited to girls' ways of learning. Fashions come and go in education as well as clothing, it appears.
Palindrome,

For what it's worth, I started school "early." The cut off for turning 5 was September, and I didn't turn until the last week of December. My parents pulled some strings, did a little tap dance about starting me in a parochial school and finally, got me into our public school kindergarten.

I was not only the youngest (always) I was physically the smallest (also always). I kind of liked being both.

Of course, keep in my, this all took place so long ago, it was just this side of the "one room school house." And, I lived in a small town and went through school with the same 45 kids in my class through grammar and high school.

Life is harder, now.
not a decision i would want to be facing. good luck.
30 kids in a K class with one teacher?! No aide, even? Good god. Who cares about redshirting. What's obviously wrong with this picture is 30 kids to 1 teacher ratio, which is disgraceful.

(for those who are interested in the topic of kids who are younger or older-than peers, the NYT article on the subject is a must-read. June 3, 2007 - name of article is "When Should a Kid Start Kindergarten.")
first off. kindergarden is NOT just about socialization.. My unfortunet daughter is in kindergarden again.. she was the youngest in her class last year and because of that her teacher, instead of working with her and helping her gave up on her and decided that if she couldnt do it alone or with the help of a already over stressed over worked single mother of two who not only was working full time but going to school full time, if that child couldnt make it with out her teachers help then she should just do kindergarden again bc obviously she wasnt mature enough.

the whole mature enough label is just a load of bullshit! I know 27 year old people that still arent mature enough but they some how have managed to have children and teach other peoples children as well.

The problem is more along the lines of stressed out families that are streched too thin, classrooms that are too cramped, and teachers that are expected to do way too much who get burnt out and just dont care any more. THere is a teach at my daughters school who, instead of working with the child, if she finds him or her to be a "problem" child would rather send him to the principal than work with the child. Its all bullshit.. and all i see are more stressed out kindergardeners that dont want to go to school or do homework bc its all a negative competitive place. If i didnt have to work and could teach my kids at home i might just consider it, even though Im so against homeschool, just because they dont socialize with anyone that way... no matter what we cant win.
Unless she is 5'8 and you are concerned about her reaching the WNBA (who cares), my instinct that if she is excited, happy and a gregarious child who wants to go to kindergarten, relax. She will love the new challenges and appreciate being on her own for the first time. Back in the middle ages of the 1960'a I was a November babay and a bit on the young side for school. But as my father noticed, once I started talking, I didn't stop and I think it was appropriate to get me out of the house and throw me into the fray. I remember the thrill of reading out loud, even if I said, "is-land" instead of island. I was always reading to run out the door each morning, excited for a new day of crayons, scissors, glue and colored paper. I do remember one trip to the office when, in my haste to get to school I put on my best dress, my Buster Browns with spanking white new socks, and forgot my underwear. No one noticed until recess. Forget redshirting, forget 17 years from now when it is all going to change beyond recognition. Go shopping for the lunch bucket, the clothing, the crayons and revel in the fact that your child is about to be launched into the new frontier of the 21st Century. After all, how much does a year or two matter to you now? I still play with 54 year olds even though I'm a mere 51, and my husband is 62. Other friends range in age from 3o to the late 70's. Let's all have milk and cookies and go back to kindergarten, where everything made sense, especially naps.
Aw, Palindrome, those who have gone before salute you. I don't think they used the term "redshirting" when I was trying to make my decision in the early 90's, but the term might have existed then and just dropped out of my brain pan.

When I considered giving my son another year of preschool before sending him to kindergarten, I talked about it so much some of my friends would take a U-turn when they saw me coming.

I did decided to wait, mainly because he had some, and I emphasize some, learning problems that were apparent even in pre-school. Eventually, on the advice of a 4th grade teacher, he was put in what was then called a "resource" room. The kids in the resource room got extra help with whatever subjects they had trouble in.

I don't think elementary school was that happy an experience for him, but it was not horrible either. Then the darndest thing happened. Actually two things. Middle school, that dreaded start of the teenage years that are supposed to be a potential well of angst and misery turned out to be a virtual joyride for him. Far from being awkward for him, teenagedom gave him a rugged, almost tough-guy look that meant he could talk to just about any girl without being rejected out of hand. (In a nutshell, he was the first student to sprout whiskers.)

But more importantly, he got a resource room teacher that was a miracle worker. He advanced three grades in reading comprehension, and two grades in math. Maybe he was just ready, but he himself has confirmed that she taught to all of his strengths, instead of trying to boost up his weaknesses.

I also want to point out that he was never a behavior problem. All of his teachers loved him and remarked about his maturity, which served him well because when he was in high school and all the kids were trying to get him to buy cigarettes for them since he was 18 his senior year. He always said no. He knew they'd leave him holding the bag in a heartbeat if anyone was caught.
As it's possible that I may have more children than all the rest of you put together, I'll contribute my single grain of salt:

My first two, who are our biological children, were among the younger children in their classes, and that seemed to work well. They were challenged but not overwhelmed; they learned early on that the "work" of school was necessary but doable. That served them well years later when they hit really challenging situations, like medical school.

On the other end of the spectrum, I have had children who were "redshirted" by neglectful parents who just didn't bother to enroll them in school. It's hard to separate out the age issue from all the other problems they experienced, but I could never see that age was much of an advantage. They hit the life transitions without a peer group to help them through, and given that they couldn't all stay in my family or any other functional family, that peer group was essential. Academically, the issue wasn't that the work was too easy for them but that it was presented in a way that was appropriate for children who were just that much younger.

Generally, I have preferred to put my younger children in a non-graded situation, in our case a Montessori elementary. They find their own comfort zone and their own rhythm, but almost universally, they move ahead rather than lagging behind. There have been children I knew were far behind, and I certainly would not have pushed them to keep up with their age group, but among those about whom I wasn't sure, all ended up in self-selecting groups in which they were among the younger students. That may reflect what goes on in my household, which I suspect is similar to what takes place in yours.

Best of luck with your decision!
If you read Gladwell's book, he makes it pretty clear that this all evens out by the time they're ten. Also, one thing you're going to realize pretty soon is that developmentally the girls have about six months on the boys, which is why they tend to do better in school than boys do....unfortunately they don't seem to do better in life. Being the youngest girl will probably put her closer to the middle (unless you're sending her to an all girls school.)

I would never red shirt a girl. There's suffering on either side of the extreme, being the most under developed girl, and being the most overdeveloped.

Like teen doc I was two years younger than everyone in my high school class. It kind of sucked, but getting school over with as soon as possible was great.
Well you've definitely gotten alot of feedback on your post and the most important thing has already been said: your daughter has what matters most already - a mother who loves her and cares enough to be this concerned.
My boys are teenagers now but each of them had different experiences with Kindergarten. The oldest turned 5 on the first day of school and he did great, not one problem. My middle son turned 6 two months into kindergarten and it was there we, thankfully, discovered, a learning disorder. Our youngest, although he was 5, wasn't emotionally ready to move on to First grade so he repeated kindergarten.
They're all different. Their needs are all their own. You can't find that in a book. You know your child better than anyone else. She's fortunate to have a mother who loves her enough to be so diligent and hopeful for her future.
Many comments here reflect experiences with a school system that no longer exists. As a teacher, I am sorry to say that Kindergarten has changed drastically. Its focus is academic. We are expected to turn out readers (of pre-primers) by June. I have sat in on intense discussions regarding students who would have been a "typical" kindergartener 15 years ago, but need to repeat K now because they don't focus, don't produce and are not ready for the huge demands of first grade. I say base your decision on your knowledge of your daughter. Don't worry about being elitist or beating yourself up for any decision you make. Many countries do not begin academics until the child starts losing teeth. Strange as it may sound, this is a mark of physical maturity and seems to be a reliable way to tell when a child is ready. There is no hurry. My experience is that teachers do care. It always hurts to hear parents say they are too lazy to help a child. But in a classroom of 30, no one is going to get the attention they get at home. If I had to do it again, I would definitely have waited a year on one of my children, and possibly the other also. It's a wonderful option. You probably also discovered that boys are generally more immature than girls and are often the ones who start later.
Hopefully my experience can help. First private school was not a financial option for us, my 2 boys attend a very small public school system; 1500 students k thru 12. The cut off for kindergarten is December 31. My oldest (15 now) w/ an early august birthday went to half day kindergarten and has always been on the immature side and has struggled with school. I have questioned my decision not to start him a year later for years. My 12 year old w/ a September birthday went to full day kindergarten and school is a breeze for him. I know I made the right decision to start him "on time". So it really is a crap shoot. Eight years ago when my kids started school they did not call it redshirting the called it staying back and only kids with birthdays at the end of the calendar year birthdays started school late solely because of age. kh333 is right it is almost impossible to ensure that school will be a positive experience.

Some thoughts on public school. All day kindergarten is becoming the norm. Children are expected to be able to read when they enter 1st grade. An all day program allows enough time for academics and what we remember as kindergarten; Art, music, playtime, ect.

When our district started offering all day kindergarten seven years ago there was a big debate about wether it was too long of day for such young kids. The solution was to offer both a full day and half day program. Two year ago they did a way with the half day program because so many parent put their "young" 5 year olds in the half day program, then had them repeat in the full day program the following year. The half day program became a very expensive public pre school. Pre school is not mandated in our state, and this free pre school put a strain on our town's school budget. You are right to worry about budget cuts. We have a $12,000,000 school budget supported by just 4000 households. With a town meeting form of government that means everyone in town can have their say where tax money is spent. It is a very hard fight to keep funding for our schools at adequate levels. It is important that all public school parents stay involved in both academics and the budget process to to give all kids the best education we can.
I am with teendoc. I too was much younger than my fellow students at grade level. I LOVED it. I kinda thought just the opposite was true in my school situations...that the "older" kids were somehow "held back" or behind. I don't buy Gladwell's whole premise, but he sure is the current media darling.
I'm like m.a.h. with the late December birthday, but my parents opted to have me tested in order to get in. The school district discovered I was way ahead, and so my parents skipped me directly to first grade--no kindergarten for me. There was talk, later, of skipping me more grades, but everyone worried about social stuff, how I'd fare.

For me, it worked. I was reading very, very early. But I was also a super-motivated kid, and if I told you when I managed my first college class, you'd not believe me. So, I think I was an outlier by Gladwell's standards.

My kids, though? I think the older they've been at kindergarten, the easier it's been, though that's a difficult thing to assess with different personalities, circumstances, etc. And my eldest daughter was the youngest at kindergarten, but was so clearly ready. I think she suffered from some other issues (divorce in second grade) that led to her lack of self-esteem (it's going very well now, with a new school).

But feel it out. My parents made the right choice for me, and I made the right choice for my kids. And, regardless, even if you somehow make a choice that's wrong, it's not like it's completely out of your control--you can tinker, fix, etc.
I think it depends on the kid. My son, when he switched schools in kindergarten, went from being one of the youngest. (He was born in March, the cut off was Sept 1) to one of the oldest (cut off on Jan 1, in a class with lots of Nov birthdays). It was really good for him. He is very bright and slightly emotionally immature. Being with younger kids put his emotional age on a better par. I will also add that the kindergarten teacher was superb and she managed the fact that he was well ahead of the other kids at reading and math. Writing was a problem because of pencil control. In fact, his biggest problem in math was writing the numbers, not adding or subtracting them.

I skipped kindergarten and went to 1st grade at 5. I did fine until Jr. High, when I was emotionally behind my peers and had social difficulties. But, my family was also undergoing a bunch of issues and my parents stopped having much time for me.

I have a brother-in-law and a sister-in-law who skipped grades and were in High School younger than the rest of their classes. (They are not related to each other, except through marriage into my family). They both said that the relief of doing school work on their intellectual level was wonderful and they had few social problems.

So, the issues really depend on your kid. You don't want a kid emotionally behind her peers or so far ahead intellectually that the school isn't supporting her learning. It's easier to skip ahead later than to stay back later, but skipping ahead will bring your daughter out of her social circle. This won't be a problem for a kid who makes friends quickly and easily.

A girl who's the only kid in her 5th grade class with her period might feel awkward about her body in a way she wouldn't if changes happened on a par with her peers. My daughter's 5th grade class had one girl who could pass easily for a 18yo. She was 5'8",with a woman's body and taller than many teachers. When I met this girl, it didn't occur to me she was a student in the class. I'd see her, packing up her things at the end of the day and wonder who she was. (If she'd been an ethnic match for any other kid in the class, I'd have assumed she was a much older sister helping.) She slouched. It was pretty clear that she was very uncomfortable with her body, which would be one a 20 yo might be happy to have.

But ultimately, life is going to throw you some curves and whether it is coping with kindergarten when your peers are 6 months older or going through puberty when your peers aren't there yet, a parent's role is to understand and help their kid.
Yikes. Thanks, Palindrome, for your thoughtful post and for generating this wonderful batch of comments. I think my wife’s already been looking into this, but seems like we have some thinkin’ to do about our two boys and their upcoming school years!
This tends to be more common with boys. We also struggled with this but our June bug will be in kindergarten next year based on our own thoughts and consultation with her preschool teacher. Also, our LSD is one of the few left that still has 1/2 day so that was definitely a factor. We would have most likely talked this to death some more if it was all day.
I agree with the first post and am also wondering how your daughter feels about it. This was years ago but, our younger son was tested and started first grade when he was 5. This was public school and he was so bored with it, finished a test first in first grade and then stood up and told the teacher he was bored. The following year an accelerated program was started and he loved it, he was challenged. He was always the youngest in his class but, he excelled and was also very good in sports, always the tallest and had many friends. To start him early was one of the best decisions we made and he is now a Forensic Electrical Engineer. I know things are different today but, I wonder about her being bored academically if redshirted. Good luck with whatever decision you make!
Wow. Interesting read and thread. I never thought about this though my oldest daughter falls right into that gray zone. What to do? I've heard and read the suggestions...will muse.
My 2 cents - I was November baby and I started school in a district where the cut-off was 5 by December 31, and in 4th grade moved to one where the cut-off was Aigust 31 and became the youngest for the rest of my school life. It didn't hurt me at all, and when I turned 50, it was great fun being the "youngest" and having the last 50 birthday in my old friends group!

I'd say it depends on your daughter - her personality, her academic and maturity level now - and you alone are the best one to make that decision. Good luck!
Just also wanted to add--puberty and junior high suck for pretty much everyone, regardless of whether they're redshirted, skip a grade, or are right on track.
My feeling is that society today obsesses too much about too many small details that we think might affect our children. Children are far more adaptable that we give them credit for.

In the early 60's when I was I born, there was kindergarten or nothing. Because there was no preschool, no "early learning" and no daycare centers, my mother started me in kindergarten (all the kids were older than me) at the age of 3 - and I went for 3 years, starting first grade at 6 with the rest of the kids.

Your child's learning and social skills will be most affected by your relationship with her and your support of her. Early or late doesn't matter so much as that.
Anxiety over Kindergarten is understandable. As a public school teacher with a 4 yo turning 5 in a month and starting school next Fall I stopped going to birthday parties to avoid being hemmed into long conversations about when to start, which school to go to, how long to stay in public school, etc. But at least these nervous parents were asking a teacher! So my advice sounded something like this:
Go to the schools. Go on a tour. Meet the PTA. Meet the Kinder teachers. Meet the Principal. Ask these folks your questions. They're the experts.
Professional opinions on the subject have been split, but ussually conclude that starting later for underpriveleged kids is a disadvantage as parents are then forced to provide some kind of enriching, social environment at home. Families with greater means can often give their children a strong preschool experience that prepares them for Kinder.
You can use the following link to a Kinder skills screening tool that gives you an idea of what children need to have a better start:
http://www.aft.org/topics/ece/downloads/II.c.pdf
Also, please support universal preschool for all children!
What a dilemma. I'm familiar with the practice, but didn't know it was called redshirting. Also, like some other commenters, I'm more accustomed to hearing it applied to boys than to girls.

Experiences with my daughter and my grandson lead me to think that the first-grade teacher is a much more significant factor in a child's liking school. My daughter had a very unfortunate choice of teacher in first-grade, but we were new to the district, and she was first/only, and we didn't know how the game was played. Many years later, someone else confirmed for me that she shouldn't have been teaching at all, much less in the first-grade.

It was heartbreaking when during her first week of school, she announced that she didn't want to go any more. Ever. She'd loved pre-school and kindergarten, but that particular teacher had ruined school for her.

My grandson's first-grade teacher was better, but she was relatively inexperienced about the range of abilities and learning curves among children. She expected her entire class would learn to read on her schedule that year. Yet, some kids learn at 6, and some at 7. Toward the end of the year, when she commented on his improved reading, I couldn't stop myself from commenting on the fact that he was just about 7.

Best of luck to you navigating the tricky currents of your child's education. Just remember that you're doing the best you can.
I have two kids with November birthdays. I went through the exact analysis that you did. My politics ended up butting with self interest. My son, was particularly hard. The held back boys were all a year older, some more, bigger, faster. He never was able to compete in the same age cohort. In high school that is particularly hard. Needless to say, while the other boys were almost 18 months older and ready for all the adventures of adolescents, he was still a dorky younger one.

It's not what you choose, it's what happens around you. So, if everyone else is gonna be one to two years older, don't suffer what I suffered. Although I think my thoughts and decision were noble, I think my kids got screwed.
My oldest daughter was born in January, so she was almost 6 years old before she could start Kindergarten. Because she was bright and we lived in the country where she had little interaction with children her age, I made it a point to enroll her in a private pre-school 3x a week and we got involved in various activities such as the public library's reading program, where she would learn to socalize. This, I think, is the key to whether or not a child is ready for school. My daughter would not have been ready, despite knowing how to read and write, if she had not had the chance to learn the give and take of socializing.

My youngest daughter, on the other hand, turned 5 immediately before Kindergarten started. A tiny little girl, she looked 3, but I knew she was ready to go to school.
The youngest in her class, and the smallest, she excelled, and even now, a senior in college in pre-med, she maintains a 4.0 GPA. Along the way she earned a black belt in karate, a brown belt in weapons, played varsity soccer and was valedictorian of her High School class.

Go with your gut feeling. You know your child better than anyone and you know if she's ready or not. And I might suggest you remember that phrase "you know your child better than anyone else" as she makes her way through school... it will come in handy countless times when teachers feed you something you know isn't true.

Prepare yourself for that first day... I remember walking my daughters into their classroom, smiling far too brightly to hold back the tears, and then sitting in my car crying so hard I couldn't drive home. That first step is the hardest - and one you'll remember forever.
Hey Elizabeth Bennet - did your daughter GO TO YALE? You must be the most awesomest mom ever with the most fabulously gifted children. Because, you know, they WENT TO YALE.
Anxiety is an understatement.
Just imagine your child being degraded by teachers from grade 1 thru 12 by teachers in a "Excellence in Education" school district, just because I guess....they've had a bad day?! Even though she earned high marks, just about straight A's, they NEVER took the time to give her proper encouragement or praise. Just standard letters and comments of achievement because they lacked the time or funding to go the extra "inch" let alone the extra "mile."
Oh! and get ready for the male students who grope her and use UNSPEAKABLE language towards her, and nothing is done because it wasn't caught on camera or witnessed by anyone. I wish I would have home schooled her , we could have saved ourselves from years of heartbreak and counselling.
Palindrome, this was a great post. I hadn't considered this or heard of redshirting. My youngest won't be 1 until end of May so this decision for us is a ways off. The way I look at situations like this is that if there is any way that I can provide a positive advantage to my children, to give them the best possible chances to attain a happy, successful adulthood--it's a no-brainer--I will do it. Regardless of whether others can or can not. (sometimes I'm in the 'can not' group but oh well, we do what we can). [side note: My first went to Head Start and I am a big supporter of that program. In fact, of the five kids chosen for gifted/talented math in 1st grade--2 of them, she and another boy--were from the Head Start program.]
I figure, only adults can provide a thoughtful and positive impact on greater society. I hope that my children can and will feel compelled to contribute to that goal as adults. Whatever encourages success and development in school naturally aligns them with that goal.
I think it often boils down, essentially, to emotional maturity and self-control. When I volunteered in the school, I witnessed some very naturally bright children who just didn't have the self-control (yet) to absorb the material and contribute positively to the classroom. There weren't nearly as many opportunities to praise them and I feared they were already being marginalized.
Now, after I read this post, I wonder if had they stayed back a year, they could have avoided that "label." I also witnessed that many of those same children so disrupted class and learning that it was difficult for many of the children to stay focused, and the teacher (bless her!) to get anything done.
Last thing: I remember reading that in Finland, none of the children pick up a pencil or paper until the age of 7. Prior to that, the focus is on socialization and self-control and just allowing them to play and grow up enough to handle the challenges of school. And we know how well the Finns are doing, academically.
Just a few thoughts your post triggered. Thanks!
So many interesting and helpful comments here. I don't know where to start. I know my daughter is probably going to be academically ready, and her preschool teacher confirms this. It's the emotional part that I struggle with. Emotional readiness for school is a different thing and it's the part I worry about most. But also I must comment on this:
"Many comments here reflect experiences with a school system that no longer exists. As a teacher, I am sorry to say that Kindergarten has changed drastically. Its focus is academic. We are expected to turn out readers (of pre-primers) by June. I have sat in on intense discussions regarding students who would have been a "typical" kindergartener 15 years ago, but need to repeat K now because they don't focus, don't produce and are not ready for the huge demands of first grade."

I agree with this. Things are much more competitive now, bordering on the ridiculous. A sibling of mine, who is a teacher, commented to me that she "needs to be able to read before she goes to Kindergarten" and I laughed in her face. There is no way I want to pressure her into that. She already expresses the desire to learn to read, but to enforce that is ludicrous, I think. BUT, I understand the pressure that teachers face now in the PUBLIC schools.
Obviously, I could send her to a Waldorf school and they'd be happy to wait until she is seven to teach her to read. But I won't do that. I want her, if I can make it happen, to be integrated into the real world, at least until it backfires and I have no choice but to send her somewhere gentler...
Also, I did take a tour of the school, and sit in on the K and K/1 classes. And I still went home with the anxiety.
I should have mentioned that my grandson's first-grade teacher, the one who thought they should all learn on her schedule, was in a private shool with a reputation for providing a nurturing environment. By third grade, my daughter could no longer afford to send him there, so he began public school, where he got some help with his reading skills while he needed them.

About a year and half ago, he finally discovered the joy and pleasure of reading and has been devouring books ever since. He's 13 now, and belongs to that minority in his age group who reads daily.

We didn't make a big deal about his being able to read or not, but continued to read to him and to buy him books that interested him.

I think the biggest danger of teaching or forcing children to read too early, before they are ready, is that they may learn, but they won't enjoy it, and they won't become life-long readers.
In my county (Harford County, Maryland), Kindergarten is not just about socialization. It's all about being ready to learn. You have to decide that for yourself. My son has an early (March) birthday. He was more than ready. However had had been enrolled in a Montessori preschool. If you can afford preschool, that's an alternative. However, I would imagine that you have spent some time with your child so that she knows her colors, shapes, etc. My son is now nearly 30. When he was in Kindergarten, the school assumed that the children knew nothing. I had decided to send him to Kindergarten because the other children in the neighborhood were going. In retrospect I should have kept him in Montessori. You are smart to be concerned about budget cuts. However, in the end you can only do so much. As the writer below me says, you can't guarantee a good experience. My son's school experiences were very much up and down depending on the teacher. However that's part of life, isn't it? Kids need to learn early that life isn't fair. You can do what we did and make sure that there are lots of books in the house, that she learns what a library is all about, limiting television, taking her to museums and other learning opportunities.
It seems to me (by the way, I was almost as young as it was possible to be in my class, but well ahead of them), that this is the wrong way of looking at things.

Your child will never be five again. She's going to spend the year in which she is five learning and doing something. What should she spend this year doing? Should she spend it wasting time until she's older, or should she spend it learning?
Palindrome - I would have to disagree - well, from my own experience at least - that kindergarten was not academic in the "old days". As I said above - in the early 60's I went to kindergarten 3 times starting at age 3. When I started primary school at the age-appropriate time - I was already reading - because my 3 years of kindergarten had been VERY academic, with a heavy emphasis on reading skills.

By the 3rd grade I finished every single SRA available in the school - all the way through the 6th grade assignments. After that point I was rather bored and the teachers likely thought me a bit odd because I was an 8 year old that preferred Poe to kid's books - but I didn't suffer any trauma because of my advanced skills, and I never jumped a grade since the issue was never raised.
Please note that many of those studies of the advantages apply to kids who are *relatively older* than classmates. If everyone does this, then the average age at any given grade level just creeps up, as do the size of (say) second graders. So all those parents trying to give their children an edge end up like Archie and Meathead trying to walk through a door.

And NCLB didn't disappear at noon on 1/20/09. Congress will have to repeal or seriously modify it.
This stuff was going on in Boulder back when I put my children in school (they are all now in their 20's). Boys with summer birthdays were held a year (the cutoff is september 30th). This was a big issue then. None of my 4 children had "iffy" birthdays, but if my sons had had summer birthdays I would have waited. Great post.
Interesting way of dealing with the curriculum "pushdown." I have noticed this is done in my area with boys... for the extra age they'll have for, yes, football. I never thought about it for academics. I guess it shows people will adapt to things they way they think they ought. Oh, for the days when kindergarten really was a "garden of children."
Going back three generations in my family, people are very intelligent, but socially shy and awkward. Boredom in school has been a persisting problem. Being the oldest in the class just exacerbates the boredom. School is for learning. Catholic schools were known for intellectual challenge, not social remediation. Socialization is what happens at recess and after school. It is not the teacher's job description. The nuns didn't care if we liked school or had enough friends. They cared about how hard we worked, whether we were lazy and not living up to our intellectual potential.
["Let her be a child for one more year."]

The problem in Colorado is that, if your child is in a daycare center, they will be repeating kindergarten if you redshirt them. Kindergarten is optional in Colorado. In daycare centers, he would have started kindergarten there even if I'd redshirted in the public schools. Then he'd either go to first grade in the public schools (defeating the redshirt idea) or repeat kindergarten (which would have bored him silly).

There is no option, except for SAHMs, to redshirt without repeating a grade. I love that repeating kindergarten is an option, but I regret that it's the ONLY option.
Palindrone, Thanks again for such a great post. I had to check back to see the progress on this most interesting topic. Thanks also to Kalvin, who has only helped strengthen my decision to keep my child in Jr. K one more year. As you, I also believe freedom is the best thing for my child. For you and your parents freedom meant moving you along in school at a quicker pace. However, for my son freedom = play. I am inclined to give that and let him be creative with his own thoughts for another year. Be careful not to judge the rest of us too harshly, it is a difficult decision without condemnation from others.