Breaking the Silence

Figuring It Out One Day At a Time

Pamela Tsigdinos

Pamela Tsigdinos
Location
Bay Area, California,
Birthday
June 12
Bio
I'm left-handed, six feet tall, and I like broccoli but not cauliflower. I'm Michigander by birth, Californian by choice. Oh, yeah, and I'm infertile. There. I said it. Now you'll understand how living in an era of designer babies and helicopter parents served up loads of material for my book, Silent Sorority (http://www.silentsorority.com). When I'm not working with startups in Silicon Valley, I'm a forty-something writer exploring ideas and society's norms. At the keyboard is where I am most relaxed. So join me here as I try to be less type A and maybe figure a few things out....

MY RECENT POSTS

JUNE 15, 2010 1:14PM

My Dad, My Prom King

Rate: 5 Flag

Despite being a funny looking, gangly slip of a girl,  my dad made me believe I was the most beautiful, bright daughter a father could ever want. He encouraged me to reach high, and celebrated every victory no matter how small. He engaged in the usual dad activities -- teaching me to ride a two-wheel bike, running behind me for several hours hanging onto my banana seat until I found my balance, and helping me with my homework.

As I got older he was genuinely interested in trying to understand me. The sound of crickets today takes me back to humid, summer nights in Michigan. The evening hum is forever tied to a cheerful request, "Pammie, come talk to me..." that floated through the screen door where I sat on the floor watching "The Partridge Family" reruns.  Dad never tired of inviting me to join him outside in one of our wobbly webbed patio chairs, eager to engage me in conversation, to hear and test my opinions.  

 The spring of 1981, though, shaped an enduring memory for me. When no boy invited me to the senior prom, my father conferred with my mother and came up with a plan. My braces newly removed, my colt-like figure still acquiring grace he knew my ego could bruise like a peach. He told me that boys my age were incapable of fully appreciating my charms and invited me to join him on a business trip to Washington DC on what would have been prom weekend.  Distracted by visits to the Smithsonian and other monuments I was able to forget what was taking place on the school grounds and in the gymnasium. 

On the night of the dance, in my own hotel room, I felt like a grown-up  for the first time. I pulled a stylish hot pink jersey dress from the closet, stepped into strappy sandals and brushed on some blush and mascara. My father greeted me with a smile in the lobby and took me to a chic Georgetown restaurant where I sipped on my first glass of wine. We talked about history and politics while a jazz band played in the background.  There were no staged photos, organza or corsages, but I felt more important than any prom queen.  Even then the D.C. trip made me realize that a dance is just a dance, but having a loving father who helps make happy memories is something you keep close to your heart your whole life through.

Then came my birthday two years ago. While my mother was in the hospital recovering from a pulmonary embolism, my now frail father snuck off on an errand.  When I came downstairs ready to accompany him to mom's room for visiting hours, he presented me with a beautiful corsage in honor of my birthday — two lovely flowers in shades of pink that matched the pink sweater I had chosen for the day.  To say I was choked up would be an understatement.  He's still my prom king.

* * * *

Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos is the author of Silent Sorority: A (Barren) Woman Gets Busy, Angry, Lost and Found.  

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Comments

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You dad gave you a wonderful gift with that trip - what an amazing memory to keep with you.

Lovely remembrance.
Wow, this is just so beautiful. I certain you know how lucky you are to have been loved by your father/parents in this way. I absolutely love this story and the way you recalled it. I went to your book website and watched your interview. The book title is just terrific. Having the experience of been loved well, would have made you a wonderful parent - the best kind. My folks couldn't give birth, but adopted me instead and there is nothing better than being chosen specifically to be loved. I say that as one well-loved person.

Cheers to this post and your wonderful writing. PS - I found you via your husband's soccer post today. That sure is one heck of a last name you have.
What a beautiful memory. Your father sounds like a sweetheart.
Oh man, this brought tears to my eyes...but in a good way! My dad was a sweetie like this, too, including buying his daughters corsages (on Easter).