A new movie may bring to light what some of us of already know: overzealous parents today have not only changed the tenor of parenting, but the nature of friendships with those who do not have children.

"We're going mainstream."

That comment from a friend without kids accompanied a link to a New York Times story about a new independent film called "Friends With Kids."

The movie is the brainchild of Jennifer Westfeldt, who in addition to being the writer and director, is an actor in her own right. She is also the significant other of Jon Hamm (aka Don Draper of Mad Men).

The film has yet to find a distributor, but I hope it does soon because Ms. Westfeldt is on to something that doesn't get discussed much but should -- how confounding it is to be friends today with those who have kids when you don't.

The New York Times reporter writes, "the idea for 'Friends With Kids' had been gestating for some time as she and Mr. Hamm noticed that members of their social circle were starting to have children and all but disappearing from their lives."

The disappearing act, I've learned firsthand, is just the beginning. Sure, we know that parenting isn't something to be taken lightly but the helicopter parent thing has gotten completely out of hand.  The once simple act of securing time on the calendar of friends -- without their kids -- makes getting an Act of Congress passed look straightforward. 

A longtime friend of Ms. Westerfeldt and Mr. Hamm, said the disappearance suspicion was not unfounded. Since he and his wife have had children, Mr. Adam Scott said, they have been “the worst friends to Jen and Jon because we were so busy.” 

Busy being helicopter parents, I suspect. My parents were more like those portrayed in Mad Men. They enforced serious discipline and made it clear that they didn't want to be our friends. Adults did adult things and kids did kid things -- which also meant on our own. This parenting behavior had the added advantage of teaching us how to entertain ourselves, to be resourceful, and to learn some life lessons along the way.

My parents wanted nothing more than to talk about something other than their kids. They lined up babysitters regularly to get out of the house and be among adults. There were bridge groups where very little bridge got played in lieu of telling jokes, stories and indulging in some adult gossip and beverages, dances at the local community center and nights out to dinner and plays. 

Today, even when we get time with our friends with kids, I often wonder if they are aware just how obsessively (and often boringly) parent-centric they are with constant references to their children and their "mom friends" and "dad coaches." The parental modifiers can often border on the absurd, such as one anecdote shared over Mexican food last Saturday night that began with "my mom amputee friend..." 

Say what? I lost track of what she said next as I wondered how she defined me when I wasn't around -- perhaps "my non-mom infertile friend?"

Parenting is THE thing in their lives and the lives of most others I've known who've gone on to have children.  

Thankfully, I've found other friends, such as the one who shared The New York Times article. Christina Gombar and I found each other through our writing online as we sought connections and a sense of community for those without kids.  She recently wrote a column for The Huffington Post called Childlessness Can Divide Friends. In it she points out that there was a time when parenting wasn't quite so divisive.

"Growing up in the 70s, the progressive view held that a person could live a rich, rewarding life full of close bonds, even if she didn't have kids. On prime-time Saturday nights, Mary and Rhoda in their studio singles apartments, Bob and Emily in their Chicago high rise mingled happily with friends and co-workers who were parents, and were accepted as equals despite their childless status."

Christina and I have shared many emails and discussions about today's kids-first-and-foremost phenomenon and its affects. We've wondered why the impact doesn't get more mainstream attention. Thanks to Ms. Westerfeldt, it just might.

Regular reporting on both ordinary and high-profile family creation – whether one is married, single or in a committed relationship – have led many to the comfortable conclusion that anyone who doesn’t have a child made that decision lightly or easily or even had the choice. That's not the case for me or Christina and many others, and yet we're reminded daily  how much society marginalizes those without kids.

One only has to look at political news coverage that emphasizes mom or dad street cred. Scan any of today's popular TV show or movie releases and you can only conclude that the quest for and realization of parenthood is the crowning achievement of adulthood, the ultimate form of self-actualization:

• On April 23, 2010: "The Backup Plan" – a romantic comedy film centered on a woman who conceives twins through artificial insemination.
• On July 30, 2010: "The Kids Are All Right" – an Oscar nominated film about what happens to a lesbian couple with two children conceived by artificial insemination when they bring the birth father into their family life.
• On August 20, 2010: "The Switch" tells the story of an unmarried 40-year-old woman who turns to a turkey baster in order to become pregnant.

Is it any surprise that those of us without kids are now waiting, impatiently, for "Friends With Kids?" One can only hope that it doesn't disappoint the way some friendships have.

As Christina wrote in her Huffington Post piece, "If you're happy being a planet orbiting around someone else's sun, good for you. But I find one-sided friendships as rewarding as unrequited love affairs, and as healthy. To me friendship is like a Siamese twin: the life blood must circulate through both bodies. When the spirit of one twin departs, the furiously working heart of the surviving twin cannot do all the work of keeping the other half alive; the joint life-force dies."

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Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos is the author of the award-winning book Silent Sorority: A (Barren) Woman Gets Busy, Angry, Lost and Found.