I am not living a fate worse than death, although that's certainly the implication from a recent "Heroes Among Us" People magazine feature called, "One Mom's Mission: Help Others Adopt."
The Mom explains that she was motivated in her cause because she "can't live" with the idea of people living a childless life.
The heroine and I share one thing in common: neither of us could successfully conceive and deliver. We both had to come to terms with our grief and loss.
There is no express lane when to comes to reconciling infertility. Tomes have been written about the various options and the related emotional and financial gymnastics that ensue. There is no one-size-fits-all solution.
The heroine and her husband moved on to adoption while my husband and I came to the conclusion that fate had other plans for us -- what exactly we weren't sure but after nearly a decade of trying to create a family we were ready to find out.
Hmm. If ennobling adoption makes her a hero, then, conversely, does helping women move forward without children make me a goat?
Perhaps Kermit the Frog said it best: It's not easy being green -- or being someone who doesn't go on to parent after infertility. That's because the path is deemed unpalatable, deficient somehow.
How can I support such a claim? It's because I get emails -- lots of them from women who follow my various blogs and tweets -- who write about their turmoil, of feeling judged harshly, as one did last week, "Thank you for providing a forum and safe platform for all of us 'in hiding' on this issue."
"Safe?" "In hiding?" Yes, even I was surprised at these turns of phrase.