Story of Patience

Under My Covers

PatienceP

PatienceP
Birthday
January 01
Bio
On the surface I'm a well put together, successful mother and wife, but under the cover of perfection and smiles lay the story of child abuse, domestic violence, life in the adult entertainment industry, coping with understanding society rules, roles, religion, honesty and crime against humanity. I'm lost under the covers of life, trying to shuffle through all this mess, trying for once....to have it all make sense. * Disclaimer: The people, location and events have been changed to protect the innocent, any similarities to actual persons, either living or dead, are merely coincidental. Thank you for reading

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Salon.com
APRIL 17, 2012 11:54AM

A Vagina Sparkly

Rate: 15 Flag

I read the recent post by icyhighs this morning "The Vagina Darkly" and I was insprired to write about a sparkle.  

http://open.salon.com/blog/icyhighs

I’m in the vagina business. I'm an Esthetician. I do Brazilian waxes, so I've seen a few. The biggest concern and question women have is, “Does mine look, you know….uh normal?” as I apply the hot wax to their most intimate areas.

What is normal? For a woman who has only seen the one they own and nothing else (we don't whip it out around our girlfriends like you guys do) she turns to pornography where women may have had vaginal rejuvenation to look like they are prepubescent, waxed or shaven clean (which keeps me in biz so I'm not complaining) and/or have had their anus bleached....also a service provided by Estheticians, just not this Esthetician. And now I hear of the Labial Lightening, another service/product telling us to be ashamed of our vagina.

We worry; us silly women that our man will judge our delicate flower, compare it to another lover or even be repulsed at the mere sight of it. So we go to great lengths to make it beautiful by dyeing the landing strip bright pink, getting it vajazzled with colorful rhinestones and anointing it with essence of lavender and neroli oils.  

If you aren’t familiar with Vajazzling, where have you been? It is an after wax service where an Esthetician will apply colored rhinestones in the shape of hearts, flowers, lighten bolts to the bare or nearly bare pubic area. I like the Vajazzling thing. I mean who couldn’t use sparkles on their va-jayjay? I love sparkles and I love to sparkle. These however may cause issues in the bedroom by becoming stuck to “other things” or being ingested, as I found out.

After my husband, frustrated and coughing up another purple rhinestone sighed heavily and said, “Look Honey, you don’t have to do all this fancy stuff. I’m just happy you will show it to me.”

Awwww, love him….*dreamy eyed*

 I sat all curled up in the comforter as I watched him get up from the bed and bend over to pick up his boxers. The morning sun shone in from the slightly open crease in the curtains and there was a little shimmer, a slight sparkle as if it were saying, “TaaaDaaaaa!”  

I thought to myself ……I had never imagined putting a rhinestone there.  Maybe this will be the next new big trend. Let me get my camera.

Author tags:

wax, vajazzeled, rhinestones, sex, husband

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On no, not his..,never in a thousand years, hah~
I prefer streamers and balloons to rhinestones. Makes me look festive!
You know I think the mylar balloons would make things appear bigger than they actually are....so there very well may be a market for the male "decorative" scaping....pelooning! LOL!
So that's what is meant by "the family jewels?"
Well, it is V-Day, eh?
Fine by me.

I must admit, though: reading this, I got the same feeling
I did 30 or so years ago when i saw my first Playboy
(Bo Derek!) :
unutterable amazement at how much I have to learn...
it's a bit disconcerting to get this feeling at 44.

But! As a scholar I take All Knowledge as my sphere...
anus-bleaching came out of left field, i gotta admit, and
vaginal rejuvenation (is it a surgery?)
i got not a clue about,
but the glittery
thing is really really girly cute.

What's this ? "we don't whip it out around our girlfriends like you guys do"...meaning what?...we whip it out to whom, exactly?
our guys, or our girlfriends?
I never experienced such a thing!

Well, maybe in the 2nd half of my life, i shall "get a clue"...

There are pornographic sites on the internet? Really?
I like the look of body sparkles but find that they often get caught between my teeth.
JamesE, I'm glad I could finally educate you on something! But doubt this would ever be a subject on Jeopardy. Vaginal Rejuvenation and Labiaplasty is a surgery for women who feel their bits are a little too large due to child birth, age or simply they desire to be virginesque again.

I just assumed all guys were whip it out types. Girls don't really check others private parts out as I have been told boys and men do with each other in the locker rooms and such.

Jmac - I bet you look lovely in body sparkles!
If you do a "Vajazzling" search in Open Salon, there are probably at least a dozen posts on this subject.
I used to think vajazzling was cool till I watched a Twilight movie.

Sparkly things that start with "V" don't really do it for me anymore...


(I'm also sort of your version of the anti-Christ cuz I did the full laser thing and I'm Sicilian so the bleaching thing wouldn't look right. Sorry.). ;)
I just think this is silly. I draw the line after getting my eyebrows waxed. I'm not showing my nether regions to the hardworking ladies at my local nail salon.
When Jennifer Love Hewitt talks about Vajzzling her va-jayjay on late night TV, the topic has been overplayed.

However -- anus bleaching. Anus bleaching. "Hey, Stim. I just got my anus bleached." I don't how to respond to that. "Really? That's great." Or, "About time. A few of us were talking the other day ...." Or "What are you doing this afternoon?" "I have to do grocery run and pick up the kids. In between I was thinking of a quick anus bleaching." I just don't know what to do with this.
Whats funny is that men ARE just happy we show it to them, take it out for a play date, and share the delicate flower.
LOL I cannot see the allure of this. Really.

-R-
you got some mental images going for me all right. As far as "vajazzling", I'd be afraid I'd swallow one or get it stuck on the tip of my tongue which come to think of it might not be a bad thing for my wife's ummm stimulation.
Ha! I always believed in personal preferences; whatever floats your boat. This is so clever and funny. You made my day. R
...hiccup... Still laughing. Sorry. Hysterically funny, and so true ...
ok, patience..you cover the lower Dionysian regions,
but what about the ah, Appolonian ones? What i mean is of course
the Breasts. Another problem for ladies, i imagine.
For boys, a tangle. Oedipal shit...
For men, a welcome distraction. Doesn't mean a whole lot..


"What is normal?" you ask. It is in a flurry of changing
and finding the truth
i believe.

thus the world? tis an enigma of energy..

all i can do is have some kinda faith it comes out ok..
Hi Patience, great post and thanks for the mention.

Reading the comments here, I'm curious - do Americans tend to talk less about this kind of stuff? When I was in uni in the UK, grooming (and specifics) was an integral part of normal conversation to the extent of constant TMI.

The girls seemed to almost compete with each other to give out bodily info when one of the gay lads joined the group - so anal bleach, vajazzle are all painfully familiar terms (and sights).

My funniest memory of those days is of my ex's younger sister asking our gay mate and his boyfriend if they didn't get each other 'soiled' during sex. He showed up at our flat early next morning, and offered to give us all a demonstration of what's called an 'Anal Douche'....
Icyhighs,

I think my family is not uncommon with how I was brought with views of sex as shameful, a duty a woman must do for her man. If a woman got pleasure out of this act, she was disturbed and must be kept under control for fear she would be out like an addict roaming the streets wrecking marriages. The thought of touching or dare to look at one's own private parts was just a deed that was only to be done by one's doctor or husband, but the husband wasn't actually to veiw the nether regions of his wife.

This mostly taught to me by my mother, but her world was shattered when my father had a rather naughty affair and I became a dancer shortly after. I think the christian religion is much to blame. But as you noticed, but in a naughty word in the title and people will read. My most popular story had the word "cunnalingus" in it which OS put on the cover...that word. I sent the Editor a note about it, thanking them for the EP, but questioning why they chose that word to feature. It has gotten over 8,000 reads. So yes, sex is still a bit taboo in the US.