One of the characteristics that goes along with having a child  that is an addict is paranoia.

My son, David, is no longer doing hard drugs like he was over a year ago. i.e. heroin

Thank God and I sincerely mean, thank you God for that gift of helping him to give that stuff up. That was truly a horrifying scare that we all went through after discovering he was a drug addict. He now occasionally will smoke weed, but after the "big H" drug, that seems harmless.

His "choice drug" now is alcohol....something he's been doing  for a few years now.....even while doing hard drugs. On one hand, it seems less ominous since alcohol is an accepted substance and not illegal. Just about everyone drinks with varying degrees of amounts. It is a socially acceptable activity especially when in moderation.... occasional bouts of drunkenness is even acceptable in our society.

With an alcoholic,  drinking takes on a completely different meaning. Moderation is not the norm as it is among the typical drinker. For the most part, alcoholics don't know how to drink moderately. Once they start down the path of drinking, the path will continue until they are drunk, passed out or the liquor is gone. At least this is true for my son.

Because of David's drinking he has totaled two cars; threatened to commit suicide a handful of times...especially if a girlfriend has dumped him; gotten in fights;  and had almost lost an eye because of some deliberate punches to his eye by more than one person on an agreed upon "fight." To this day, he still has some scar tissue around his eye from that last fight which happened last May 2009 even though his vision was not impaired.  (See my previous posts.)

Talk about being paranoid, because of all that we have been through with David, I am always concerned when David walks out  the door to go to work, hang with friends, attend a musical concert or in today's case, David left for a float trip. He'll be back on Monday. Sounds wholesome enough, right? Well, it would be except for the fact that there will be drinking. (David said he was bringing a case of beer.) For most people, a little drinking on a canoe trip would be perfectly harmless.....for David and other alcoholics like him, no drinking is harmless. Floating along a beautiful  river while drinking doesn't go well together.....and of course, there will be no life jackets.

Despite my motherly warnings before he left, I am extremely concerned. It will be a long five days for me while he is gone. My mind will wander constantly wondering if David is ok and keeping safe, but until he walks through our door on Monday, I will continue the worrying and praying.

Can you understand now, why I am slightly paranoid? Please keep him and others like him in your prayers. They need them.