I started the day feeling physically torn apart, with trembling in my left hand that scared the hell out of me, plus severe pain in my right knee. I felt like I was falling apart. The trembling makes me fear that I am developing Parkinson's. The pain in my knee makes me fear that I will need another knee replacement and will have to give up my exercise routine for a very long time.

Very gradually as the day went on the trembling grew less pronounced. But it is still there. When I don't focus on the hand it does come back. Still scares me. The knee pain has vanished completely. This is very strange. I need to see the doc ASAP; my appointment is next week. I put a call in to her office but did not receive a call back.

Meanwhile, I finally received an email from the music guy I met at an open mic and he is interested in collaboration. I also did some long distance collaboration with an OS friend. Finally, progress in the area of music collaboration. Yes, I pushed myself in spite of the fear. I also heard from the editor of the Asheville paper and my political column will be published Friday.

I received another rejection from a publisher on my nonfiction book but immediately sent another sample and query out to another publisher.

I read some really good poetry by Jewel and she inspired me again to write very short poetry. I am also thinking of editing an anthology of short poetry.

Now my right hand is beginning to tremble. Damn. But I made a vow this morning to do two things about this problem:

*Do not be in denial, and get medical help.

*Do not obsess about it to the point where it interferes with my creative work.

I have achieved both today. My symptoms seem to peak when I wake up in the morning. i wonder how I will feel tomorrow.

So for everyone who wished me well today, thank you. One thing I did this morning that I did not do yesterday morning was to engage in meditation/prayer and throw the I Ching. This, in itself, may have helped me to feel better later on.

There is too much important work to do this year, creatively and politically. I can't allow these emergent problems to stop me.