"I'm gonna roll me away tonight
Gotta keep rollin, gotta keep ridin',
Keep searchin' till I find what's right
And as the sunset faded
I spoke to the faintest first starlight
And I said next time
We'll get it right"
A really tough day. My Bipolar group ended without notice. I wasn't going that often, but I was talking to the facilitator intermittently and it was very helpful. The receptionist offered no explanation but I will ask for one from a higher up, I guess.
Some clashes with Linda. But we'll make it through, We always do.
Mostly silence from all of my queries to agents and publishers. Some say to give up. But I'm going to see this through.
Disturbed feelings about religious types. I mean prosletyzers.
I was going to go to the gym yesterday but felt so upset I did not but should have. Basketball centers me and helps me to detach.
Politics. Don't get me started. I will write another political column though.
The landlord is coming over to look at our broken dishwasher, garbage disposal. I think he'll blame me. Who knows, maybe I did break it. That's what I'll say to him. Because it's the truth. I'm not afraid of anybody nowadays. Maybe I should be.
Still working on the I Ching group and finding music collaborators. I need to find another open mic. Or maybe play on the streets of Asheville. This is for the summer when I am in a good place. I may not do this though.
I am questioning whether I should get knee replacement till I feel better. Which may be soon. I tend to bounce back. I seek new avenues. I get back on the court. I guess I'm like a shark, unless moving forward I sink to the bottom.
I keep thinking I need a church but I am also church phobic. And I like to do nearly nothing on the weekend but relax. Linda is Baha'i but that's not for me. More confusion.
Sorry for this post. "The truth will set you free." Confused feelings are the hardest to write about. Still, the writer continues to write...