I hit a wall creatively yesterday and mainly relaxed watching TV and napping and that sort of thing, while feeling somewhat guilty. I think it is important to figure out why these moments occur, in real time. In this instance, I think that producing a new chapbook of song lyrics and pitching it to independent bookstores is a challenge. Currently, I am fixing some errors in the first run while waiting for the first handful of bookstores to respond. So far, none have. Since, for me, creative writing and music makingn are tied in with sharing of the work, until I have the chapbook placed in a few outlets I will feel stuck, and this feeling of stuckness can bleed over into other creative endeavors. I know, patience.
Another disappointment is a newspaper editor who is not responding to my queries, although I have published with him in the past. It's a feeling of "what did I do wrong," and having no way of knowing. Again, the issue is that writing, for me, is inextricably linked to publishing at some level, even at the level of a blog site.
So what I am talking about is dealing with an underlying feeling of failure, to put it bluntly. It's a matter of picking myself up off the ground and pressing on. It's a matter of believing in myself and the message that I have to deliver, in poetry and prose and through music, despite setbacks.
This little essay is a reflection of the fact that I am not a quitter, and know how to press on. That creative urge will not be denied.