Columbus Day is arguably one of the dumbest American holidays — especially since there is no "Leif Erikson Day", or even a "We Were Already Here, Stupid EuroTrash" Day.  Nonetheless, it is a holiday the Italiens seem to like, but I'd wager a salami that "Frank Sinatra Day" would be even more popular.

My suggestion for celebratng this historic day is you pass on your local parade unless you have a child marching with the band, or you have a major majorette fetish. 

 I suggest an adventure where you think Columbusy, become your own float, and go out and discover something. Assuming you have friends, get yourself three cars. Rename them them the Nina, the Pinta, and the "Santa Monica, here we come.

Sail off on a road trip starting with your own personal Columbus Day parade in which you have a destination like India. Of course, being Columbusy, you'll get off course and discover something new, like a new pub in a place you've never been. Or a mall, six towns over.  Or a jail cell in town that should've been named SpeedTrap, where you can write your own Tweets on the bottom of the gray metal bunk above you.

To really Columbusize this adventure, think Italian. But be careful not to fall off the end of the world. Pump up the volume on an Italian CD like Sinatra, or Dean Martin, or some fat tenor.  Stop for lunch where you can eat pasta, drink Dago Red and ask a Queen for money.

Then upon your return, you can write all it up for OS, which will be a much more interesting blog than naming the political wannabees who marched at the head of your local parade.