I saw a cartoon years ago, in one of those classy men’s magazines (or Hustler), showing the Man of Steel and a woman sitting up in bed. He’s blushing, and has a look of shame and disgust written on his face. You could sense the sarcasm in the arms-crossed woman’s voice as the she supplied the caption:

“Thanks for the foreplay, Superman...”

Those words well describe the reaction to President Obama’s performance so far. It’s not just his midterm electile dysfunction and self-admitted failure to “connect.” It’s that he hasn’t lived up to the image he created, or the image we -- to some degree -- created.

The disappointment goes beyond that, though. It’s not simply about not living up to the promise of hope and change; it’s also his failure to represent the people that voted for him. While it’s easy to play New Democrat/Old Republican ala’ Clinton when the economy was booming (or at least not in distress), the economy was in free fall before the vote.

Americans went to the polls with an eye towards the sky, hoping to spot Superdem – the President who would, like FDR, take on the evil forces of economic destruction.

“Look! In the sky! It’s a bird! No, it’s a plane!” ....splat!...  As we wiped the poo from our eyes once again, we had to acknowledge that it was, indeed, merely a bird.

Sadly, our Superdem is just another New Democrat, his powers drained by the Kryptonite of corporate funding. Instead of coming to our rescue he sat down with Lex Looter to bargain our hopes away in the name of pragmatism -- a word we thought meant accomplishing the possible, but instead proved to be a synonym for capitulation.

America wanted FDR; Obama wanted to be Clinton. Instead he’s combined Jimmy Carter’s ineffectiveness with GHW Bush’s worst aspects (see: wimp factor – vision thing).

Now, after what is truly his and our crushing defeat, he claims he’s learned his lesson. He wasn’t Republican enough! He looked too much like a tax-and-spend Democrat!

Well, excuse me, Mr. President. While you might see it that way, the majority of Americans sees our worst political nightmare, and what should be yours – you’re just another politician.

Allow me to teach you a lesson in mathematical realpolitik, Mr. President:

New Democrats + Blue Democrats = Few Democrats

For the uninitiated or curious, what follows is an explanation of that formula.

It was politically necessary for the Party to distance itself from the social left, as Clinton famously did with his Sister Soulja Moment. Because of the anti-war radicals of the 60s, welfare state elements of LBJ’s Great Society and the universally despised liberal overreach of bussing to achieve school integration, too many middle class and union labor voters began abandoning the Democratic Party.

After the nomination and defeat of anti-war Democrat McGovern in ’72, the Coalition for a Democratic Majority formed around the concept of anti-communist liberals in the Scoop Jackson mold.

(Many say Jimmy Carter was an anomaly within the trend of the rising new Republican majority, and if not for Watergate, the trend would have continued. I’m inclined to agree.)

After the defeat of Mondale in ’84, the Democratic Leadership Council was created to also distance the Party from the social left in an attempt to regain the FDR coalition of middle class and unionists. It was also business-friendly, which is the beginning of the current Democratic problem.

After the defeat of Dukakis in ’88, The DLC grew a branch called the New Democrats. They describe themselves as “centrist” Democrats, and are also business-friendly. They earned the label of “Republican-Lite,” as did the DLC, for pandering to the same business interests as do Republicans – though some see it as accepting the same bribes.

It’s worth noting here that each new group was formed after a loss, and preceding the next loss, so it’s valid to question the effectiveness of the business-buddy, slight-right-leaning Democratic presidential candidate.

Clinton won in ‘92 and, as noted above, after his Sister Soulja Moment during the campaign, though that wasn’t the only factor involved. This is where the problem of pandering, Republican-like, to corporate America began to metastasize.  

The Blue Dog Democrats were formed after the Republican Revolution of '94, when they took the House back after a long vacation out of power. Blue Dogs were, again, "centrist" Democrats, though more along the lines of the old Southern Boll Weevils. They were given that name by House Rep. Pete Geren, a Texas Democrat who, later and perhaps tellingly, joined the Bush administration.

While it was essential for the Democrats to walk away from the social left, the problem seems to be they didn't know when to stop, as they also walked away from the economic middle.

If, as the DLC stated, the Democratic mission was to recreate the New Deal coalition, it seems that crushing union labor at every turn and selling out the middle class with NAFTA, and Clinton reversing his campaign promise by reinstating China’s MFN status...is a strange way to accomplish that.

Yet who really noticed? The computer/Internet Technology boom created an economic celebration, the result of which was an effectively zero rate of unemployment. Wages rose, Americans prospered and all was well. The truth is Clinton could have gotten away with almost anything, even if he had decided to have an intern service him in the Oval Office.

But then, as quickly as one can say “bandwidth,” many IT related jobs took an extended vacation overseas, along with the continued draining of manufacturing jobs, accelerated after China joined the World Trade Organization in 2001. The Bush bubble years came and went out with a bang, proving to be the greatest illusion of economic growth in history. There was, as we now know, no “there” there.

Enter President Obama, who seems to imagine he was dropped into the middle of Clinton’s 1998 economy instead of Hoover’s 1932 one. Being a self described New Democrat, he shuns economic populism – the very root of the New Deal coalition – and tried to become Clinton II: The Sequel. I'm guessing Obama and his people figured the Clinton template worked, so why use their imaginations and supposedly keen political minds to address current reality?

But, as "Dear Abby" predicted, instead of defending his voters from the next worse thing, he has delivered it. He gave Americans nearly the exact opposite of what they wanted in a health care plan. All hope of prodding the economy back to life is gone, and he has devolved into mild-mannered Clark Can’t. He has blamed his voters and himself, adding fuel to the wimp factor fire.

While I cynically assume he will make his role as Republican hand puppet official, I do so because as far as the Democratic Party is concerned, my cynicism has long been rewarded.

The New Democrat - Blue Democrat template has proven that imitating Republicans is the sincerest form of flattening.

But, President Obama, you have one way out of your self-induced political stupor.

Here’s a phone booth.

Enter as Clark Can’t.

Emerge as Superdem!

You need to rediscover what real Democratic populism means, because the toxic populism of the Republicans is filling the void. Do this before you again deliver us the Next Worse Thing --

President Palin.

photo wikipedia commons