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JANUARY 22, 2013 10:55PM

FAILING at Breastfeeding

Rate: 5 Flag

I know, it's only been 5 weeks, but I'm about 90% done with the whole thing. My goal was to do it for a year, but I can't even produce an ounce. The 2nd day after I came home with them from the hospital it came in. I could pump 2 ounces from each breast each time I pumped, and I decided to breastfeed one child at each feeding. 


From there it lessened and lessened. So frustrating. I even resorted to pumping with my bare hands. Not much there either. It's like a big conspiracy, my body against my mind. I had a doula tell me that I should "think about water and think about the supply increasing." I have another one tell me that I just need to drink a dark beer. 


I tried the dark beer, it worked for one day. Today I bought Fenegreek, which is supposed to help increase supply. The crazy thing is that I feel like my bust is twice the size, except no milk in it. WTF in is in it then? Because it sure as hell isn't milk. Maybe it's stuffing!


It's the most frustrating thing when you put a baby to your breast and after 3 sucks he cries uncontrollably for 30 minutes because I just spent that entire time thinking it was a latching problem. 


I think women need to shut the hell up when they see a pregnant lady. They surround you and ask you questions about breastfeeding and cite typical shit about how it's awesome for the baby, trying to pressure you or guilt you into doing it. I had one lady, a doctor, tell me about how she hand expressed milk for her son for a year. Good for you honey. 


Even now, when people visit it's like this big curiousity. Oh, you have triplets.. so you're breastfeeding them? 


Do you THINK I'm breastfeeding them? What the hell do you want to hear?


I'm just a little bit angry.


I feel like punching a wall. 

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fuck this shit

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It's a One-Woman Band over there! More power to you & best of luck! Here's a big Hug! R
Have you seen your obstetrician? Have you ever heard of La Leche League? If your breasts are twice the size they normally are but nothing's coming out you need to see a doctor; you may be engorged. There's also a book you may have heard of called The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. Your library should have it. Don't give up yet unless you're just not that into it - it's too soon to call it quits. You have my utmost respect for trying to breastfeed triplets. Don't know how many women would be up for that.
Thank you for sharing this, though I'm very sorry for what you're going through. Breastfeeding is different for every woman - and every woman has to make the right choices for her and for her kids. At least today we live in a world with many different kinds of formulas - no one will starve. I also agree with Margaret about going to see a doctor regarding your breast size. Sending loving and supportive thoughts your way.
Sorry, to clarify: I know your choice is to breastfeed, I meant that this shows that not all women can breastfeed, even if they want to , and there is nothing evil in having to bottlefeed. I know your children will be all right no matter what - love is the most important thing, and I definitely feel that here. Good luck to you.
It should be a law. ~No unsolicited advice to pregnant or nursing mothers. ~ There is no right or wrong. And no pregnant/new mother needs any guilt or angst about the way they are doing or not doing things... Enjoy those babies. They won't be babies for long, and soon people will be giving toilet training advice. Then Montessori vs. public school advice ... then, well it never ends. Really, at least for the first year, it should be a law. :) ~r