I know, it's only been 5 weeks, but I'm about 90% done with the whole thing. My goal was to do it for a year, but I can't even produce an ounce. The 2nd day after I came home with them from the hospital it came in. I could pump 2 ounces from each breast each time I pumped, and I decided to breastfeed one child at each feeding. 

From there it lessened and lessened. So frustrating. I even resorted to pumping with my bare hands. Not much there either. It's like a big conspiracy, my body against my mind. I had a doula tell me that I should "think about water and think about the supply increasing." I have another one tell me that I just need to drink a dark beer. 

I tried the dark beer, it worked for one day. Today I bought Fenegreek, which is supposed to help increase supply. The crazy thing is that I feel like my bust is twice the size, except no milk in it. WTF in is in it then? Because it sure as hell isn't milk. Maybe it's stuffing!

It's the most frustrating thing when you put a baby to your breast and after 3 sucks he cries uncontrollably for 30 minutes because I just spent that entire time thinking it was a latching problem. 

I think women need to shut the hell up when they see a pregnant lady. They surround you and ask you questions about breastfeeding and cite typical shit about how it's awesome for the baby, trying to pressure you or guilt you into doing it. I had one lady, a doctor, tell me about how she hand expressed milk for her son for a year. Good for you honey. 

Even now, when people visit it's like this big curiousity. Oh, you have triplets.. so you're breastfeeding them? 

Do you THINK I'm breastfeeding them? What the hell do you want to hear?

I'm just a little bit angry.

I feel like punching a wall.