Ah, another present on the floor for me. How kind of you to keep me busy.
I love David, I really do. But he has a secret superpower of which he might not be aware.
No, I am not talking about Naked Man: The Man with the Power to be Naked ....I get to see him every night, and I like him a lot.
No. I am talking about 90% Man. The man with the utter inability to finish anything completely.
There is no project so big, and so almost done that can't be abandoned to the Evil Land of Later, right at the last fucking minute.
Paint the bedroom....an entire weekend devoted to this task. No spot is immune to my brush and color. Creamy pale yellow on the walls, crisp white on the ceiling and trim, two doors painted...two coats of everything.
Only the frame around one door left. Just that...
"Let's stop and do that later."
"But...but sweetie....we are almost done! Just another hour or so...and its DONE~ A COMPLETELY FINISHED ROOM!"
"I'm quitting..I promise...Later."
I have been walking through that unpainted door frame for two months now.
I will eventually paint it myself, alone. He will not notice, or think he did it himself, and just forgot to show me. Such is the power of his Superpower.
Late evening...I'm exhausted. I have worked for 15 hours today. He made dinner..yay! He often makes dinner. Let's make it clear...he is very good to me. Yay for dinner!
"Thank you wonderful Naked Man, for making dinner! Dishes too? Really?..You are going to clean the kitchen? "
I will wake up to a clean kitchen? Bliss!
There is always a pot, a knife, a cutting board, and filthy counters....you know..that laaaasssst 10%. Waiting for me.
"Oh that? I'm gonna do that Later".
Picking up your clothing off the floor? Always leave a pair of manties behind!
Vaccuum ALMOST the whole house! Do NOT, whatever you do, put away the vaccum. Leave that in the middle of the living room. For days.
Put on new licence plates......leave off that final screw! Swingy!
Plant all the plants except those two pots! Oh...that keeling over thing? They are resting!
It's sometimes comical.
And....well, you can't SAY anthing, because, you know, its just that last little bit. You sound so petty. So you follow along behind, finishing up that last ten percent, grumbling to yourself and yet feeling like such a hag for not appreciating the other 90%. I do, I do.
The best part? I am quiet about it..so much so that he thinks he has completed everything. He even mentions that he often forgets doing that last bit, but he must have, surely, as he promised to do it....later. He just can't remember when he did. Why didn't I thank him for that?
I guess I was too busy being my own superhero.....
"I can finish it in a SINGLE HORRIBLE DAY, so I can put this off now, even though spacing it out would be easier" Woman.