Persephone13

Persephone13
Location
The Watery Bits of the Empire State.,
Birthday
June 04
Title
Queen of the Underworld and other Points South.
Company
If I must.
Bio
Native Los Angeleno now in the wilds of the Fingerlakes of Northwestern NY. Love makes you do all sorts of strange things, don't it?

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Salon.com
APRIL 14, 2009 6:15PM

90% Man

Rate: 29 Flag
servant
Ah, another present on the floor for me. How kind of you to keep me busy.
 
 
 
I love David, I really do. But he has a secret superpower of which he might not be aware.
 
No, I am not talking about Naked Man: The Man with the Power to be Naked ....I get to see him every night, and I like him a lot.
 
No. I am talking about 90% Man. The man with the utter inability to finish anything completely. 
 
Ever.
 
 
There is no project so big, and so almost done  that can't be abandoned to the Evil Land of Later, right at the last fucking minute.
 
 Paint the bedroom....an entire weekend devoted to this task. No spot is immune to my brush and color. Creamy pale yellow on the walls, crisp white on the ceiling and trim, two doors painted...two coats of everything.
 
Only the frame around one door left. Just that...
 
"Let's stop and do that later."
 
"But...but sweetie....we are almost done! Just another hour or so...and its DONE~ A COMPLETELY FINISHED ROOM!"
 
"I'm quitting..I promise...Later."
 
 
I have been walking through that unpainted door frame for two months now.
 
I will eventually paint it myself, alone. He will not notice, or think he did it himself, and just forgot to show me. Such is the power of his Superpower.
 
 
Typical Example:
 
Late evening...I'm exhausted. I have worked for 15 hours today. He made dinner..yay! He often makes dinner. Let's make it clear...he is very good to me. Yay for dinner!
 
"Thank you wonderful Naked Man, for making dinner! Dishes too? Really?..You are going to clean the kitchen? "
 
I will wake up to a clean kitchen? Bliss!
 
But NO!
 
There is always a pot, a knife, a cutting board, and filthy counters....you know..that laaaasssst 10%. Waiting for me.
 
"Oh that? I'm gonna do that Later".
 
 
 
 
 
Picking up your clothing off the floor? Always leave a pair of manties behind!
 
Vaccuum ALMOST the whole house! Do NOT, whatever you do, put away the vaccum. Leave that in the middle of the living room. For days.
 
Put on new licence plates......leave off that final screw! Swingy!
 
Plant all the plants except those two pots! Oh...that keeling over thing? They are resting!
 
 
 
 
It's uncanny.
 
It's sometimes comical.
 
And....well, you can't SAY anthing, because, you know, its just that last little bit. You sound so petty. So you follow along behind, finishing up that last ten percent, grumbling to yourself and yet feeling like such a hag for not appreciating the other 90%. I do, I do.
 
The best part? I am quiet about it..so much so that he thinks he has completed everything. He even mentions that he often forgets doing that last bit, but he must have, surely, as he promised to do it....later. He just can't remember when he did. Why didn't I thank him for that?
 
 
 
I guess I was too busy being my own superhero.....
 
"I can finish it in a SINGLE HORRIBLE DAY, so I can put this off now, even though spacing it out would be easier" Woman.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Scuza...I need to finish washing those last two windows.
This made me laugh...partially in recognition. I am the 90-percenter in my relationship, I suppose...
OMG.....George Sand posted on my Blog...say hi to Frederick...

(I make earrings with images of you two!)
I love this. But love? Be careful. That ten percent resentment can bite you in the ass someday. Just ... watch it. I wouldn't want to watch a 90 percent perfect relationship wreck on the shoals of the 10 percent imperfection--maybe because I've been the one who just couldn't finish what I started. Had to do with my own sense of imperfection. If I hadn't finished it, then it couldn't be criticized. Now I'm projecting. So I'll shut up.
fingerlakes:

I would say you nailed it, if he were not so sure he HAD finished it.

I laugh more than cry. I promise. I am sure I have an invisible superpower.

Maybe its my ability to make everyone in the household, eventually, end up with one of my two foot long hairs in the crack of their ass.

Its amazing!
I always finish everyth
I understand. Sometimes you simply run out of ooomph to finish that last little piece. It's easy to delude yourself that it'll get done later.
Don't sweat the small, er 10% stuff.

The hair in the ass crack comment is one I can relate too but had never really thought of in quite that way. Superpowers indeed!
Hee! I know this guy!
This is so my sister so it's not a gender flaw, but man do I get it. I think there may be a 10% procrastination genome that has yet to be discovered.
Persephone - now I'm blushing!
So much for leaving them wanting more. I attribute this to my Attention Deficit Disorder. My wife is understanding about it. Because we talked about this when we first started seeing each other. I also had just been diagnosed.
I too am guilty of belonging to that Brotherhood. We of the missing 10%. I am so guilty of this that my beloved has made it clear to me that I am in serious danger of becoming an EX boyfriend.

How has she done this you ask? By having me move out and declaring that we need a "break". Granted there were other reasons discussed that led to the "break", but I couldn't really hear them as I was too busy moving 90% of my stuff out of her apartment.
I'm the 90%er here. Used to drive my college roomate crazy! I'd leave one dish unwashed, etc. She was anal and couldn't understand it. Most likely a gene that will discovered....um...never, because the scientist will also be a 90%er and never quite finish the study. Rated.
Michael...you are right. This is NOT gender specific.
ooooh..Nuts and Bolts...so sorry. Er. Wow.


Deborah..HA! True!
God, I am so a 90% man too.

But I have a vagina.

I wonder if that helps alleviate the driving people crazy thing.

;) Loved this. rated.
I like to think of it as 90% started. That makes so much sense to me. I would have loved to have 90% participation in my marriage! I didn't even get 10%. :(

You're lucky!
OESheepdog....I am sure you have many many fine qualities that easily make up for this.
Madam Berg...please do not misunderstand me. This is humor. He is terrific and wonderful and deeply appreciated and well taken care of. We both are, and we both feel grateful daily.

I am very sorry to hear you had such an experience though...
I get horribly depressed when I have a project mostly done, but not quite all the way there. I know a few people like this. I don't know how they manage. It would be all I see or think about.
EofC...my friend! You understand!

Come sit here at the compulsive's table...
My almost-ex always finished the project, but clutter from every project and every mail day and every thing he needed to wade through was always around the condo. I couldn't think! Now I live alone, and I have discovered WHAT A SLOB I am. He is a clutterbug, and clean, and I am a slob, not a clutterbug. Huh!
Interesting distinction between clutterbug and slob. I guess I am a clutter person though a project, but the second its done....

I dunno...I am one of those people that needs a clean space to think. Messy home, messy head.

The fact that the very nature of what I do is messy, is one of the big bad stressors in my home live.

Sphincter Muscle VS Creative Muscle..THE DEATH MATCH.
yup, i am him. got the 90% sage green painted living room to prove it.
::hangin head in shame::
I'm not honestly sure if I make it to 90% sometimes...on the other hand, I can't recall a single meal, even a "special" one that's been made for me by STBX in the last ten years that I haven't had to clean up myself...let alone folded laundry...

I COULD go on...but I won't ;)

Still, I feel your pain :)
Kind of reminds me of one of the few times I saw my father's father admonish my grandmother. She was a neat freak bordering on neurotic. He was in the process of proudly showing several new custom made suits he had just picked up from the tailor. He was simply changing in and out of them in his boxers in the living room, tossing them onto the sofa.

My grandmother went nuts, bellyaching about how it was rude to change in front of people and how he was making a mess. He simply looked up, smiled, and asked which she valued more, a clean house or his continued company.

She shut up.
Oh, this would drive me crazy. I can't stand this kind of "imperfection." I am far too anal to put up with it. My husband is getting better, but the vacuum in the middle of the floor thing -- I hear ya! And what's with never putting anything back where he finds it, and always leaving 1/4 inch of water on the counters. Guess I'll have to write my own post.
did my son pay you to blog this? He's been nagging me to clean my room
Is you 90% man related to my 90% man? My husband is a general contractor. He done amazing things to our home and property. And he's a perfectionist. But for some reason, he does the exact thing your husband does when it comes to our home. I'm tempted to hire someone to finish things, but that would never fly with him. The thought of doing it myself? Well, why not. I may be sending you PM's, Persephone, for advice.
Really Geoff? This reminded you of that?

Really? That's how you see me? This?

Wow.

Kiss my freckled arse.
Mary, Emma...see! You understand...ssooooo much good, and yet there is this quirk!

Its funny to me.

Darkside.....as you know...you were always giving far more than you got. This is clear.
Oh, and Emma...the counter thing...

Here's a funny one. I am sooo grateful for help around the house whenever given, because, speaking of percentages..I do about 95% of the inside, all of the laundry, etc. He does the big manly stuff outside, and I help with that gardening wise. Thats the breakdown. Nice ride for him in winter, but summer kicks his arse.

Anyway....when he is kind enough to do the dishes...the stuff that doesn't go into the washer gets hand washed, right?

Ok...so..he ever puts a towel down to set the cleaned things on when hand washed.....so we get this soaking wet counter, and floor.

He says he doesnt want to ruin the towel. Ok...Not my logic, but I respect other versions of personal logic.

Now the floor next to the sink is fucked up.

...and now its ok to fuck up the towels.

Arent the little things of home life bizarre?



Finally...one of the floor boar
Sadly, I am the 90 percenter. I didn't even know we had a name! Maybe we need a support group! (Because of related symptoms, we'd probably all be late, then forget what we came to discuss. But I bet we'd be a really relaxed, easygoing bunch!)
I envy you Annette....I truly do.
My wife would sympathize with you regarding me - and hearing it from someone else makes me think that maybe, just maybe, I need to go the last 10% on more stuff. Maybe I could get to 95% at least.
I am married to his brother. I have never been so certain of anything ever.
I am this guy. Well, 90% would be on the high side so count your blessings. When I'm done with something, I'm done. Now, if you want to dramatically lower the percentage, start "reminding" and watch it drift to an irritatingly low number. This was entertaining, I could sense your struggle. He will probably get it all one day. Hope not...
Hey, I'm Mr 95% Man! See my amazing ability to get distracted at the last minute by... oooh, shiny thing over there....
Ah, so true of us all. :) I find that I get in the middle of house cleaning and think, "Well, tomorrow is looking better and better for those floors." I do it but I rebel by only half doing it. The trouble is who the heck am I rebelling against? It's MY house!! ha.
The masterpiece is best finished with a precise flourish.
My Dearest M. Chariot...you always understand.
What the hell are you doing living with my husband???
Of course, if you're 100% Man, there are some initiatives you always bring to a satisfying conclusion.
I'm starting to think that 90% of men are just like you describe. I'm still holding out hope that I have gone through 85% of them.
I'm an 80% woman :)
at least you finish the 10%, my spouse leaves that and complains about it- endlessly. I think- if I did 80% what's wrong with you picking up your end of the stick for a change and banging out the next 20? Why shouldn't I get more credit for actually doing 80% than you get for whining about 20%...but then we are separating. :)
I hear these types finish sex 100% of the time, even if their partner is at 90%.
I find it kind of interesting how this is being perceived...some find it funny, some take it personally, some understand, some think I am somehow saying he is doing most of the work, and I am somehow getting away with the last 10% of it...so why am I not more grateful?

This is fascinating.

..And then there is Robin.

HA!
Hey beautiful woman, I was not even suggesting that you finish his last 10%, you know that right?
Actually..no.

I am very glad you cleared that up.

Thank you, sweets. I misinterpreted. I wasn't all funky tho..I mean....I find it increasingly truthful for me that regardless of how carefully one writes something, everyone is gonna have their own take anyway ......you just gotta roll with it..

Or ask for clarification!
:D well then, I am very glad I clarified!
I'm sure my better half feels your pain. I never finish anything eith...