Poet of Logan Square's Blog

Poet of Logan Square

Poet of Logan Square
Location
Big City in the Midwest, Illinois, USA
Birthday
January 20
Title
CEO of Nothing
Bio
writer-actor-musician, mother of 3 BA Creative Writing & Theatre Arts, U. of Arizona, 2004 MFA Creative Writing, George Mason University, 2007 I have found power in the mysteries of thought,exaltation in the changing of the Muses;I have been versed in the reasonings of men;but Fate is stronger than anything I have known. Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.

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JANUARY 17, 2010 10:47PM

The Law of Attraction

Rate: 9 Flag

My stepmother once said to me, a while back, when I was 40 pounds lighter and hot looking, "Gee I wish you'd find a guy.." and I told her, yeah, but all I attract are losers. I want an Alpha Male--you know? A guy who has something going for him! And she suddenly turned cynical, smirked and told me: "Oh well, dear, money attracts money."

Yeah. Money attracts money, fame attracts fame, beauty attracts beauty (except for the beauties who love ugly rich men, or lately, the gorgeous young men who attract (Gigilo! Gigilo!) "Cougars."  If you wanna be a "cougar" you better have some money! No young tidbit is gonna go for a poor old woman! Yeah right.

So-o-o now my stepmother is in a nursing home, but if she could have a normal conversation I would ask her: what do poor, overweight, middle aged losers attract?

Oh please don't tell me about "inner qualities." We all know men are visual and they love beauty in a woman. And if she's a little older or whatever, no matter--she can have money! I once heard a guy say that he didn't care if a woman had the head of goat as long as she had a hot body. You know that saying, ""such a pretty face.." We know the unspoken subjext of that one.

Nothing's changed.

I don't need inspiring sweet and encouraging words from fellow OS'ers--I am just experiencing the truth that I need to let go.

I am worth it. So is the world.

Writing beats all that sturm und drang anyway! 

The inner process is luminous. It does amazing things.

Don't pity me.

I'm just lettin' the truth out.

"Addendeum:" (later for addition--misspelled of course)

OK Folks let me let you in on a secret! I love to use this blog forum as a place to vent. It does not mean that my venting indicates a permanent feeling that will last to the end of time! It does not mean I do not change or grow or re-arrange--I do! Constantly. I get all kinds of well-meant comments trying to soothe my savage soul or placate me or bolster me up or whatever--and while I appreciate these well-meant comments, honestly folks, IT ISN'T NECESSARY! As a hard core fiction writer with a huge portfolio behind me and in-progress, I exercise my writing muscles daily on the page. As a blogger on Open Salon I must confess--okay, let's be brutally honest--this is what I do instead of a (dread the thought) diary! I don't plan to ever write a ME-moir, so this is the closest I'm ever gonna get! It gets whiney, complaining, kvetching, self pitying--you name it! All the crap that comes out in a daily wade through the psyche. You can either enjoy it or not, but please don't try to "therapize" moi! I've had enough of that.

I always find after complaining in a blog here that I feel much better and I can go back out into that wide, wonderful 3-dimensional world and kick ass!

My next blog will be how I am getting in shape, losing weight, looking hot and about ready to launch a new phase. So get ready for that one!

BTW: which is more obnoxious--a poet complaining about how miserable life is or a poet reveling in her own bitch rites? Your pick.

Meanwhile, back to the ranch.....

 

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Don't be so sure you know the law.
cheshyre grin
January 17, 2010 10:52 PM
OK I'll keep an open mind--but look at reality. When a 69 year old Paul McCartney has a 42 year old beautiful heiress what's the message here? Or Craig Ferguson at 47 marries a wealthy beauty of 25. Where does that leave us 60-something women? We can't compete with our daughters and our granddaughters and we'd like Alpha partners too who can give us an exiting ride too. There is an essential wound here--we've got an entire population of disenfranchised older women. And we don't all look like Sigourney Weaver or Meryl Streep!
Poet of Logan Square
January 17, 2010 11:06 PM
I'm dead fucking serious. You want to speak of reality to me? No closed mind knows reality. If you have an open mind, then you don't worry what you can have instead of pre-determining it. Yes, you can know your future - if you've already decided to cheat yourself. That's what you need to let go of. I fight this every day.
cheshyre grin
January 17, 2010 11:41 PM
True Alpha males aren't content with one woman - they need a harem or a wife who is willing to put up with several mistresses. Is that what you want?
littlewillie
January 18, 2010 12:59 AM
"The Law of Attraction" is so yesterday! You're a girl with a heart beat (!)......there are a thousand guys out there looking for you! Pretend you're not looking and they'll find you. Keep it real, cause you rock!
Cathy GF
January 18, 2010 01:26 AM
It is annoying, the law you speak of. But maybe the loophole is your perspective. There are so many shallow people of both sexes, but you could attract a freethinker like yourself who sees your beauty. And, as you say, writing is its own gift. (I have to remember this, too.) We have to focus on other things and let the love come when it may....
DeliaBlack
January 18, 2010 03:44 AM
Poet, first you have to love yourself, you have to have a 'magnetic field' around you to satisfy the first law of attraction. If you don't get the message that you deserve a great love, then you're not going to broadcast it. I think you're an impressive, intelligent, feminine woman - so should you. Start humming a new mantra, girl, read some of your posts and love this creative goddess who deserves so much more.
psychomama
January 18, 2010 07:28 AM
As a friend of mind back in L.A. once remarked, erehgarding his hopeless infatuation for a woman way out of his class --

"I'll tell you the problem. She's gorgeous and I'm not powerful. Simple as that. You're born beautiful and you're born with a real lust for power. That's all -- you can't fake it. I don't want to boss people around. I couldn't even boss my dog around. I’m serious. I had this huge German Shepherd, and I felt guilty when I told him to sit. Anyway, I hate power and it sticks out all over me. And you'll never see a beautiful woman with a powerless man -- that would be as absurd as a powerful man dating a homely woman. So here I am: a powerless man. Worse than that: a man with no lust for power. Worse than that, even: a man with no lust for power who lusts after beautiful women who have no lust for men without lust for power!"
Steven Axelrod
January 18, 2010 10:45 AM
Stephen--I think you said it all and beautifully. Maybe it's possible for a man who hates power with a sense of humor to get with a woman who can't stand it either with a sense of humor. The two of them could go off into the sunrise/sunset laughing their heads off and entertaining each other. I could see that scenario too. However, even though I was once told by a jerk I went out with for five years, that "every p0t has a cover" maybe I am just a pot full of soup looking for a cover? A lot of covers are too big or too small--I need the one that fits. OK so much for that ugly metaphor.
Poet of Logan Square
January 18, 2010 03:55 PM
Poet, I am your age or older. I do not share your perspective. Why is that? Because (I think I was a man in my last most recent life)--what many men want is ease of communication. What many men love is intelligence, and easyness both. I know this to be true even if I'm alone right now, it's by choice. I don't subscribe to the usual categories and I wish I could transmit that to you. You never know what is right around the corner. Attidue is a huge part of life. You know all this and for some reason are fighting it. Brainy women will spark men if they are open to that spark. You are super brainy and super smart so think on this and excuse me for not following your wishes to not hear this. It could be great. It ain't over till it's over. Etc etc Love to you,
wendyo
January 19, 2010 02:14 AM
I believe that there are suitable partners out there for all of us. It’s just a matter of widening our net and fishing in the right waters.
Spin Doctor
January 19, 2010 08:22 AM
You could beright Wendyo. But my public personnae of the "curmudgeon" wrote this piece and the curmudgeon likes to bitch and whine a lot. I haven't wanted a partner for over 10 years and really feel just fine about being on my own. I am observing, however, as I am "easing" out into socializing again, that the pickings are slim! Many very interesting men out there but most are married and of the ones that are single they are cruising for something a little easier to get a long with than me. Which brings us to your point--I am probably a "sticky wicket"--quite volatile, actually, and not easy always to get along with. I need a man who can match my stride and allow me space at the same time--someone who be supportive and loving and receive the fruits of my spiritual journey. I think it's a lot to ask and it doesn't surprise me that I don't find someone right off the bat! I am probably too demanding.
*sigh*
Poet of Logan Square
January 19, 2010 12:55 PM
Poet, most people in our general age group go to places online like match.com. I had a bad experience there, but many find mates!
wendyo
January 20, 2010 09:08 PM