Poet of Logan Square's Blog

Poet of Logan Square

Poet of Logan Square
Big City in the Midwest, Illinois, USA
January 20
CEO of Nothing
writer-actor-musician, mother of 3 BA Creative Writing & Theatre Arts, U. of Arizona, 2004 MFA Creative Writing, George Mason University, 2007 I am managing a blog and website that also holds my portfolio of writing, music and videos at: http://www.allisonvfine.com Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.


Poet of Logan Square's Links

JULY 17, 2010 12:33PM

If There is a Hell it's called: CHICAGO

Rate: 9 Flag

I know there are plenty of people who love this "big hearted" city in the midwest. The lake! O! (I mean Oprah) the "miracle mile" which is a mile long testament to Capitalism and the Power of the Oligarchy and How The American Ruling Class can shame the rest of us buy/by (pun intended) displaying all manner of material goods that are beautiful, useless and that none of us can afford, (by US I mean the rest of Americana that has to work , pay bills and doesn't have "disposable income" whatever that means).

Known as "The Big Hearted Town" (Frank, you might have been right for you, but this is not "my kinda town"),  this is where "dirty politics" becomes just business as usual, where a governor is brought down by his own nasty self ON TAPE and still continues to try and use his haricut to turn things around. (This guy FLUNKED celebrity apprentice and even The Donald made an ass out of him when he asked all the other celebrities {celebrities, half of whom we've never heard of, by the way} "Does anybody believe this guy?") The smirks and disdainful looks of the remaining celebs said it all.

Chicago the city of dirty, nasty politics, the city of incredible cold, horrible, debilitating cold winters--wet, snowy, slushy, dirty-- homeless people sleeping outside of 7-11 on Dearborn and Randolf EVEN at 7 degree temperatures-- the city of summer heat waves that make you feel as if you were in the 3rd level of dreamstate much like what Leo DiCaprio experiences in Inception, that new great movie (more on that later), the heat wave is what I am talking about since I am currently SLOGGING through it as we speak.

OK I admit it--I am poor. I live in 2 rooms. I don't have AC. It's 90 degrees with 90% humidity. I am over 60. I am very fit by the way, I work out at the gym 3 and sometimes more times a week, I walk 2-4 miles a day all over town, I carry my laptop and books in backpack, not a rolling pack, but Jesus, COME ON! Give me a break! I cannot move in this heat. I cannot sleep in the heat. I cannot even think in this heat. I certainly cannot have a conversation in this heat! HELP! I'M NOT A CELEBRITY! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Now I hear that they're making a movie on Michigan Avenue--"Transformer" or something with Shya LeBuff (who knows how to spell his name and BTW is this a real name?) and I could care less. We get Hollywood assholes with megaphones shouting at tourists and townies trying to spend what little money they have in this horrible economy to get off the street, while other star struck young women hang out on the street hoping to get a glimpse of Shya or whatever his name is and maybe GET DISCOVERED? Oh yeah. What a town. 

I've been bitching about Chicago ever since I got here. It's going on 3 years and I gave the city with a heart a chance. We just don't have it 'going on'. We're not getting along. The sex sucks, we're not good in bed, you don't take me out enough, I can't get you to make more money, you aren't a good lover and you're a rotten friend, you put me down, you're downright rude and mean, and cold! You just don't like me as I am and I don't feel you celebrate my creativity and empowerment. Let's face it, you're just not that into me and I am not into you! It's time to break up, Chicago. I'm sorry. You might be good for another woman, but NOT ME.

I am applying for PhD's in Literature, Writing and American Studies in various places around the country, NONE OF THEM HERE. I am sure I can find a better lover--one that really knows how to communicate. Chicago needs therapy--so get it. But don't count on me to help you.

I have to go walk my daughter's dog. The heat is killing me. Two blocks and I am ready for a nap. Whenever this heat wave lifts I plan to sit down and fill out applications for programs all over the United States. I will be careful not to mention the messy breakup me and Chicago had. We don't want to badmouth past lovers. Let's just say: the chemistry didn't work.

And by the way, Blago is a silly liar who has a terrible hair cut. He needs to go see my daughter. www.sparrowhair.com




Your tags:


Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:


Type your comment below:
You forgot to mention Lincoln Towing!!

City of big shoulders and wet basements! Sorry you're feeling the heat . . . it's brutal. Would it make you feel better to download a free ringtone of a Blago rant? just posted the link.
Oh yeah--towing, and fees for parking and having to move your car (if you have one, that is) for the street cleaners twice a week, even in the dead of winter at 5 am--I did that until I "lost" my car to the depression we are calling a "double dip recession," how about the sweet, friendly customer services we all get everywhere? I have NEVER seen such cavalier, disdainful attitudes in customer service in any other city, town or hamlet IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD as I see here in Chicago. They just don't give a damn if you spend your money there or not, it seems. And DON'T GET ME STARTED on the students I teach--we already ran into trouble with that rant.
I spent the summer of 1980 in an un-airconditioned apartment in Waco, Texas. This is a cakewalk by comparison. (But with pretty unsavory cakes, I admit!)
I'm going to have my daughter read this. She thinks she loves Chicago and wants to move there in September. Maybe your post will talk her out of it.
So sorry Poet. I'd recommend Seattle. It never gets hot - and we complain about that too!
I lived in the Midwest for a few years, so I do understand that it can be "hell." It's sort of hard to understand how a place so incredibly cold in the winter can be so incredibly hot in the summer.

One thing that I will always love about the city, though, is its architecture, public art, and public spaces. I don't know of any other city in the U.S. that is as inspiring to photograph. It is absolutely beautiful. But I sure can't blame you for not wanting to go on residing there! Good luck in your search for a program in a hospitable clime.
Yes Chi-land is a beautiful city and the public spaces are lovely. There is plenty to see and do and of course we DO have the Lake which I hardly ever get to it seems. I did have a lovely day today. Met my friend Lisa at the Art Institute, walked around there, sat in the garden by the fountain, (threw a wish-coin in said fountain) walked down to Jackson and had a salad from Kramer's Health Foods in front of Barnes & Noble by DePaul--it's moments like these that really make you savor life and I even felt a tiny bit of joy and love for Chicago! So, it's not ALL bad. I still want to leave, however! Maybe I need to leave a place in order to appreciate it--I dunno.
Well, Poet of Logan Square, you just trashed my home town, but I'm not mad at ya'. I left in 1978 after two hellacious winters in a row and moved to San Francisco. But if you think the customer service sucks in Chi-Town, come on down to Atlanta for a spell. These folks will make you want to smack 'em!

Like your family, you don't choose the city in which you are born. I lived in and near Chicago for many years, but I kept glancing at other places. I ran away to Connecticut, Florida, and North Carolina, but ended up back in Chicago. Every miserable cold winter and miserable hot summer I cheated with other cities in my mind. After looking at Los Angeles on the internet I moved here ten years ago and don't plan to move back. Unless the recession makes it impossible to survive here.
Yes I am reminded everyday that the reason rent is so cheap here for a city this size is the crappy weather and all the other stuff I complained about! People want a big urban environment but who can afford New York? And LA? I dunno--I hear horror stories about California too. Give me the south west!
Yes I am reminded everyday that the reason rent is so cheap here for a city this size is the crappy weather and all the other stuff I complained about! People want a big urban environment but who can afford New York? And LA? I dunno--I hear horror stories about California too. Give me the south west!
Hee hee, you might be right on this one. rated.
I lasted in and around Chicago for the first 23 years of my life, and then I headed west. I moved partly because I had too many relatives there, but Chicago is a rude and segregated town with horrible weather. NYC has the art, and LA has the culture and Chicago's stuck with an inferiority complex. But I still love to visit. I just wouldn't want to live there.