I know there are plenty of people who love this "big hearted" city in the midwest. The lake! O! (I mean Oprah) the "miracle mile" which is a mile long testament to Capitalism and the Power of the Oligarchy and How The American Ruling Class can shame the rest of us buy/by (pun intended) displaying all manner of material goods that are beautiful, useless and that none of us can afford, (by US I mean the rest of Americana that has to work , pay bills and doesn't have "disposable income" whatever that means).

Known as "The Big Hearted Town" (Frank, you might have been right for you, but this is not "my kinda town"),  this is where "dirty politics" becomes just business as usual, where a governor is brought down by his own nasty self ON TAPE and still continues to try and use his haricut to turn things around. (This guy FLUNKED celebrity apprentice and even The Donald made an ass out of him when he asked all the other celebrities {celebrities, half of whom we've never heard of, by the way} "Does anybody believe this guy?") The smirks and disdainful looks of the remaining celebs said it all.

Chicago the city of dirty, nasty politics, the city of incredible cold, horrible, debilitating cold winters--wet, snowy, slushy, dirty-- homeless people sleeping outside of 7-11 on Dearborn and Randolf EVEN at 7 degree temperatures-- the city of summer heat waves that make you feel as if you were in the 3rd level of dreamstate much like what Leo DiCaprio experiences in Inception, that new great movie (more on that later), the heat wave is what I am talking about since I am currently SLOGGING through it as we speak.

OK I admit it--I am poor. I live in 2 rooms. I don't have AC. It's 90 degrees with 90% humidity. I am over 60. I am very fit by the way, I work out at the gym 3 and sometimes more times a week, I walk 2-4 miles a day all over town, I carry my laptop and books in backpack, not a rolling pack, but Jesus, COME ON! Give me a break! I cannot move in this heat. I cannot sleep in the heat. I cannot even think in this heat. I certainly cannot have a conversation in this heat! HELP! I'M NOT A CELEBRITY! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Now I hear that they're making a movie on Michigan Avenue--"Transformer" or something with Shya LeBuff (who knows how to spell his name and BTW is this a real name?) and I could care less. We get Hollywood assholes with megaphones shouting at tourists and townies trying to spend what little money they have in this horrible economy to get off the street, while other star struck young women hang out on the street hoping to get a glimpse of Shya or whatever his name is and maybe GET DISCOVERED? Oh yeah. What a town. 

I've been bitching about Chicago ever since I got here. It's going on 3 years and I gave the city with a heart a chance. We just don't have it 'going on'. We're not getting along. The sex sucks, we're not good in bed, you don't take me out enough, I can't get you to make more money, you aren't a good lover and you're a rotten friend, you put me down, you're downright rude and mean, and cold! You just don't like me as I am and I don't feel you celebrate my creativity and empowerment. Let's face it, you're just not that into me and I am not into you! It's time to break up, Chicago. I'm sorry. You might be good for another woman, but NOT ME.

I am applying for PhD's in Literature, Writing and American Studies in various places around the country, NONE OF THEM HERE. I am sure I can find a better lover--one that really knows how to communicate. Chicago needs therapy--so get it. But don't count on me to help you.

I have to go walk my daughter's dog. The heat is killing me. Two blocks and I am ready for a nap. Whenever this heat wave lifts I plan to sit down and fill out applications for programs all over the United States. I will be careful not to mention the messy breakup me and Chicago had. We don't want to badmouth past lovers. Let's just say: the chemistry didn't work.

And by the way, Blago is a silly liar who has a terrible hair cut. He needs to go see my daughter. www.sparrowhair.com

http://www.press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/443213in.html