Greeting, salutation. It Pokey. You read me from blog of Daddy, but Pokey now create blog of own. Orange Stupid Bug Face suggest I stop poisoning his ear with complaints of what Daddy does and instead, refocus energies, into blog of Pokey where Pokey can share complaints of what Daddy does with whole entire world. How many people on internet? Thousands? How many people on Orange Stupid Bug Face? Only one: Orange Stupid Bug Face. This called increasing audience. Pokey see wisdom in this. (Orange Stupid Bug Face right about precious little but Orange Stupid Bug Face right about this. Pokey man enough to admit.) So … this blog of own. Hopefully thousands will flock.

Mommy say when read what Pokey type, Pokey sound Chinese. Nothing could be further from truth. Pokey no sound Chinese. Pokey sound caveman. Difference huge. Pokey sound Chinese, Pokey playing into racial stereotype, and much hubbub ensues. Pokey sound caveman, who gonna complain. Caveman? No caveman anymore. They extinct. Only caveman you see at museum, and those not real caveman. Those fake caveman. Those lifelike replica.

(If reader ask reader-self how Pokey type when Pokey hands small, motor skills poor, Pokey not know how to type in first place cause Pokey not know bout letters and words and talking, and also most importantly, Pokey no sit upright on Pokey own … well, then Pokey tell reader not ask too many damn question. Suspend disbelief would be Pokey words of wisdom to reader who ask too many damn question.)

So imagine sound in your head of caveman when reading Pokey. This what author want. This author intention and author intention important. If there one thing I learned in eleven week of life, it importance of author intention.

That what Daddy say, anyway. Whenever Daddy feel misunderstood, Daddy rant and rave to anyone unlucky enough to not already run away that people that misunderstand Daddy no get his intention. (Anyone unlucky enough to not already run away usually only Pokey. Mommy usually hightail it to other room.) He rant and rave for what seem like entirety of time between boob. Rant, rant, rant. Rave, rave, rave. Then Daddy get out of system so Daddy do something he think Pokey like til Pokey have to cry so Daddy stop already. Reader think maybe Daddy pick up on Pokey clues, like grump-face, turn head side to side, whimper, kick and punch air, or ignore Daddy altogether, but does Daddy pick up? Of course no. Daddy many thing, but Daddy also oblivious when Daddy think Daddy have captive audience.

(Just between Pokey and reader? Daddy sometime confide in Pokey that Daddy want produce one-man-show before Daddy die. This a lifelong dream of Daddy. Can reader imagine hour and half of Daddy talking? Pokey shudder at mere thought and Pokey confident reader shudder also at same mere thought.)

No, Daddy no pick up on clues. Daddy continue along with stupid thing Pokey find unamusing to say least. Like this morning, Daddy play game only Daddy find funny. Game called ‘It me!’ Game consist only of Daddy looking at Pokey, putting hands over eyes, then taking hands away to reveal Daddy eyes, then smiling and squealing ‘It me!’ He do this roughly infinity number of time, and Pokey no exaggerate. Infinity! Way past Pokey not liking anymore and Pokey giving clues for Daddy to pick up on. Pokey resort to crying. Then Daddy stop playing, turn to Mommy and say ‘I think he wants something.’

Pardon French but no shit Daddy. What Pokey want crystal clear and that for Daddy stop with game that no fun after sixth or seventh time. ‘It me! It me! It me!’ I know it you, Daddy. Who else it gonna be? Only one person it can be, Daddy, and it same person it been the previous million time. Pokey not born yesterday, Pokey born November. Pokey not stupid.

Pokey tell you. If anyone stupid, it not Pokey and it not Mommy. Mommy smart. Mommy know what Pokey want before Pokey even know Pokey want it. Boob, diaper, sleep, playing with friends, story time of Runaway Bunny or Barnyard Dance or Goodnight Moon. Yes, Mommy smart all right.

Pokey wonder what Mommy see in Daddy cause Daddy stupid. Daddy as stupid as Daddy tall, and Daddy tall. Daddy so tall, he like big tall stupid giant towering above. Sometime, he pick Pokey up and lift Pokey to ceiling to where he is, and tell Pokey one day Pokey be as tall as Daddy. This not bad deal, cause Pokey see real far if tall as Daddy. Farther than Orange Stupid Bug Face, anyway, but Pokey want get brains from Mommy side. Tall from Daddy side, brains from Mommy side. That what Pokey want. Then world Pokey oyster, all right. World Pokey oyster.