Policywanker

a deft and daft skewering of politics and players
NOVEMBER 17, 2008 1:50PM

Magic Mormon Underwear and Other Fables of Prop 8

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POLICYWANKER EDITORIAL 

 


   Is it just Policywanker? Or do the Mormons come off as just a teenie, wee bit "out-of-their-fucking-minds"?
   Their "Amazing Prophets of the Lord" insisted Mormons everywhere join the Prop 8 fight in California. They proclaimed it was each Mormon's sacred duty to donate - compiling a war chest of $20 mil - to nullify civil rights already instituted for same-sex nuptials. Whether you lived in Sacramento or Salt Lake City - the CA queers getting hitched threatened EVERYONE!
   This, from a religion created by a delusional nineteenth-century charismatic able to rally around him - with promises of Milk, Honey and Lady Love - enough disaffected losers to call it a church.
   Principles of the LDS "faith" were found in the woods on stone tablets that somehow later mysteriously  disappeared. Inscribed in the text was the "go-ahead" for men to have multiple wives - a real crowd pleaser at the time. And then, you got the White Salamander, who might be the Angel Moroni, talking trash to Joe Smith and "voila!" - it's time for unearthly undies which will protect your private parts from intrusion by the "dark one". 
   What. The. Fuck.
   And they are the ones dictating laws?
 
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open call, mormons, underwear, polygamy

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B. I never met a Mormon man who looked like he could fill out that pouch thar.

A. A while back in L.A. there was a cult that ran a restaurant called The Source. They didn't use knives for food, wore white, and the women hobbled with cloth between their legs held by thighs only during their periods.

The main tenet of the "religion" was that all the women had to fuck the cult leader whenever he wanted without hassle from their men. OH, yeah, and they worshipped The Great Spirit.

What all this has taught me is that... FUCK, I should have started a "church."
Xanadu Xero
November 17, 2008 02:24 PM
I agree that Joseph Smith, founder of LDS, was probably delusional. After teaching psychology for 30 years, it always sounded to me as though he suffered from "schizophrenia compounded by delusions". But, gosh darn it, if you claim to talk to God, all kinds of losers will follow you!! Didn't Palin just claim God told her to run for the Senate? And don't forget Pat Robertson who speaks to God on a personal, daily basis! Religion is a curse on this planet....and I speak from personal experience because I was raised a Fundamentalist Protestant, a Southern Baptist, no less. But I came to realize that most religions turn their believers into Fascists with only one view of God, one view of "what's good and right", and so on....at least Fundamentalist Protestantism sure does!! And worse, if your don't come around to their way of thinking, then you probably should be eliminated. I always found Fundamentalists to be very scary, potentially violent people....and I grew up among them!! But, all violence, all killing, etc. is perpetrated in the name of God, of course! True Christianity is hardly to be found any more. What I call "Bush Christians" have taken over, and they completely forget that Christianity is a non-violent, non-judgmental, forgiving, humble, caring, sharing, religion of love!
Soap Box Amy
November 17, 2008 02:35 PM