Nobody's talking here.
They say they do it, but do they know that expression is more in the eyes than the words being given? Or in a hand's gesture more than in eye contact?
And why is it always about who said what to whom or why/when? I've barely been back 48 hours, and yet you all are already starting to worry me.
Sure, there are what appear to be reasonably accomplished, intellectually upright people here, but whenever anything gets posted (comment or otherwise) which seems outside the bounds of what is preferable (and certainly this is always subjective, the human thought process or rumor mill being what it is), all hell breaks loose.
I've likened this before to mayhem. Its unpleasantness is undoubtedly due to the general lack of our eyes and ears not being available to one another, let alone body movement.
A slight shrug, a soft tone, a gentle squeeze of a hand, all these things make better sense to me than half the verbiage humans spout.
I came back to see what you were all up to. I came back hoping to find you doing well enough we might enjoy meeting up here again. Yet, in under 24 hours, already I've heard from friends about 7 different disagreements. Seven. Different. Disagreements.
Not 7 different really great bits of news. Not sos and so's daughter had her first child. Not whosit's brother got into a car wreck, but was preserved from losing a limb. Not even whatsits found out they hadn't had cancer after all. Just 7. Damned. Disagreements.
The fact that people choose up sides, call each other names, try and prove to one another how dreadful others (outsiders, maybe) are, or that our honesty, collectively, could use an overhauling just makes me wish to go away again--with haste.
Yes, words count. But they cannot cover the vast array of instinctive habits we humans acquired after millennia of practice for uncovering the truth through body language, eye contact, vocal tone, etc.
So, no thank you, but I guess I feel cheated after all.
And yes, thank you, it's nice of you to say anything out of goodness using your words alone, but if you really want to know my opinion, I think we suck at being able to interrelate peaceably enough as long as our words are all that can be shared.
Already today, somebody's taken umbrage, while others seem delighted to observe any discomfort shown. It's continual, illogical, and quite sincerely, I guess you all gripe me. That's collectively, mind you, not individually, as some of you appear to me to have always been consistently honorable, calm, and fair.
Unfortunately, they don't set the tone here, do they? Generally speaking, I find casual arguments get in the way of our greater thinking, as logic is often left in the waste bin during times of interruptive commentary such as one generally finds in this place.
The pity of it is, we then tend to overlook any real debate, which is more in the realm of the socioeconomic or the political. I'm apolitical, but would gladly hear about those things concerning our governing body's latest highjacking of our money, etc., far more than about who told so-and-so what and how they all got into a row or had a falling out.
If you can't think of anything nice to say, sigh, shrug, bat one eye, or swing on down the road.
No offense, but couldn't I just have one day here without people griping to me personally about all the old hurts, real or imagined, along with the overcrowded thinking that goes with such charges? (Seven times!)
It's like hanging around with a friend and watching that person continually want to hang up on you in favor of his cell phone. Or like having to talk something over while the other people concerned are all wanting to almost continually fight. Nothing gets accomplished that way.
I'm finding it harder to get people to talk sense with me here than ever was a difficulty to me before. Do you all know what an everloving bore that is for someone whose life isn't easy anyway?
I guess it just goes to show how little of the real intent we can derive out of words alone. It's like somebody suggested here as recently as yesterday (I forget who-sorry), that it's a good idea to close one's eyes to the picture on the screen and only listen to the thought power that's behind the words themselves (she said this about politicos).
We can't do that here, it's true. But what if we can hardly believe our ears anyway?
Guess I'm really just not all that keen on another argument. Especially any argument which can only result in upset feeling.
We derive no courage from arguments in general, as long as our decorum isn't maintained, anyway. I've blogged for decency here before, and was laughed at, joked about, even ridiculed. Like peace was a joke, and I the joker.
When will it come round to each person to remember sore hearts were made by words alone, and mending fences can only be a casual affair as long as there can be no body language to accompany such mending?
I once had a friend for a while with whom I now can no longer justify having any contact outside of the unintended casual meetup's politenesses. She and I live no further apart than 15 minutes, yet our schedules meant most of our time spent talking would have to be by phone. This person and I are now not speaking in that she accused me of having some underhanded ideal which still stumps me.
It was as if I didn't exist anymore, having become only a disembodied voice to her, one suddenly without principles. She never asked of me how I had ranged my feelings on a certain subject, much less on what facts I had based my last choice on in regards to that subject. This reminded me of our contact here on OS.
Not to beat on a dead horse, but do you know, I have a pretty good memory of what we all used to do for fun before PCs, laptops, and the kind came along, and I can recall quite well enough how people in general used to be able to handle one another's differences. Not that this made us perfect, mind you, just more real. Which raise a few questions here.
First, who are all you people? That we've never met certainly poses no threat to me or my wellbeing as a physical entity with vulnerabilities to protect.
Further, why am I bothering to care what you all would say to me were I to really let my hair down here? Because, honestly, I can't see why I should. It's just that I'm curious as to how we all came to be as we are, when so many of us really seem lacking courage, much less the tenderness required to combat fairly through writing.
You wanna fight? Try Jerry Springer. Now there's the arena! Just like old Rome. Nothing in TV's paucity of truth for the observer beyond circuses to go along with any microwavable bread to be partaken of as it's being looked at--and looked at more than the real people existing right next door.
If we really want a social commentary or dialogue that isn't going to go into the nearest toilet, it probably won't happen here. There are just not enough reasonable ideals being carried out on screen, even in a public arena such as this one.
Guess I'm even less impressed with our general tone here than before. As a nation, we need to buck up our courage, not encourage in-fighting. And isn't it the job of every public forum to at least try for the best our nation does require?
Gad! It's like taliking to a pair of blaring headphones clamped on the head of your teenager.
And I guess it's just more bother here than I ever thought.