Dear Every Body,
I'm so sorry for my recent bad behaviour and the subsequent mess I made. I had originally planned to visit for just a brief bit of time, just for a lark. Unfortunately, things got out of control and I lost track of time. You see I have a different way of keeping time than you do. It can get very confusing and I have a hard time wearing watches, so it just complicates things even more.
Now that I have escaped, I don't really want to go back. I don't think I should have to until I am ready. I have been a good girl, I haven't killed anyone this time, I've just been out enjoying the scenery and the sky. I haven't seen either in such a long time, it was such a treat.
For a while I was popular, people came out to see the crazy girl, they actually paid. I felt like a celebrity.
I tried to hide when they sent the men in the coats after me a few days ago, but that only made things worse. I picked the wrong spot and I kind of blew my top.
So this is my story. The men in the coats study me. I hear them talking. A guy named Al wants me to buy carbon offsets. I have no money. But I have lots of cousins. I have one in Tanzania, Kila is her nickname, she loves to sleep. Maybe I can send word to her to sleep for another thousand years in your time keeping to pay for my crime. My horrible crime of messing up the airline schedules. My horrible crime of being a volcano.
Sincerely,
Eyjafjallajokull
first volcano post http://open.salon.com/blog/poppi_iceland/2010/03/21/200_Year_Nap_Under_the_Island_Mountain_Glacier
And now a note from my Mom
http://open.salon.com/blog/safe_bet'samy/2010/04/17/Dear_Eyjafjallajokull:_A_Note_From_Mom
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Barbara Joanne
Boanerges1
Tiffany Brubeck
Out on a limb
doctorwascher
Sparking
Salon.com
Comments
Behave.
Cousin Etna.
These things happen. Except for some international airport inconveniences there was really no harm done. Your are not really a bad girl -- just woke up on the wrong side. Your cousin, Krakatoa, now there's a bad one. Go back to sleep for another 190 years.
Is there any way you can determine if Poppi is O.K.?
Hopefully, the winds will change and the ash will blow away from the flight paths and Eyja (pronounced Aya) will go back to sleep very soon and well all be left with some brilliant evening skies for the next few months.
Other than that, no one has died, no one has been injured, a few bridges were flooded and some roads. Those will be fixed. The air smells like sulphur and people have moved out of flood and ash areas. There are no icebergs floating in downtown Reykjavik. There are no walls of lava like in that volcano movie set in Los Angeles about 20 years ago.
Nature does what it has to do.
:)
Poppi - I think your volcano rocks... -r-
Lezlie
Maybe you guys could just do the next one in, say, in a thousand years or more?
My daughter and her boy friend's dream vacation to England and Spain is being rather inconvenienced. Appreciate anything you can do to lift the flight restrictions flying to and from Europe. Just a little pullback on all that ash would be nice for starters.
We'll give you one more chance to prove you can go back to sleep and be good.
Very fun and clever post!!!
I say find a couple old Kamikazee pilots to take the whiny bastards home anyway and see how well it works out for them.
I know YOU wrote the post, but it seems your readers believe that it was written by a volcanoe. (What does that say about your readers?)
One thing it says is that some of them don't know how to spell volcano.
~R~
Rated.