These past few years, I have been noticing an unusual phenomenon - the vocal presence of liberal feminist Mormon women. Between Feminist Mormon Housewives, The Exponent, and Joanna Brooks, there is a faction of women within the church that are laying claim to their right to be feminist and Mormon. And I am very grateful for the work of these courageous women, as they are fighting to create a place for my mother and sister, who are liberal Democrat Mormon women with careers.
When I was a Mormon, I knew many fantastic women, my mother being one of them. But the majority of them were very quiet about their convictions. My mother is a Democrat, one who has hinted at pro-gay marriage and pro-choice convictions. She is my mother and I love her with a fierce conviction. Touch a hair on my mother’s head and I will eviscerate you. I am grateful to the courageous women that are working within the Church to make life better for my mother.
This rise of feminist women within the Church is forcing me to re-evaluate my precise reasons for leaving the Mormon Church. It is true that I felt like I was being forced into a box that did not fit - marriage, children, homemaking. The thought of my future as a Mormon woman filled me up with terror. What if I had stayed and become part of the feminist Mormon movement? Would that have been an acceptable compromise between my personal convictions and the rigid intolerant faith I was raised in? What if I had stayed and fought the good fight?
The more I examine my convictions, the more I realize that the narrow mold of life as a Mormon woman was not my only reason for leaving. The core reason for my departure from the Mormon Church is simple. I do not believe the Mormon Church is true. I do not believe Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. I do not believe the Book of Mormon is true. I cannot support the current authorities in good faith.
Post-Mormonism, as I have examined my convictions, I have come to the realization that I am an agnostic atheist with humanist tendencies. I don't know if there is a god or not; I suspect there isn't. In the meantime, I derive comfort from the basic goodness of humanity - people are capable of amazing things. And for me, this is enough. I will live the best life I know how and take joy in the tiny beautiful things of life.