A POST-MORMON LIFE

Life after leaving the Mormon Church

Rachel Velamur

Rachel Velamur
Location
Texas,
Birthday
February 15
Bio
Born and raised in a strict Mormon family. I write about what life was like as a Mormon and what my life is like after leaving.

MY RECENT POSTS

AUGUST 21, 2012 2:52AM

I Am A Feminist

Rate: 8 Flag

          I am a feminist.  In this day and age, feminism is treated as a joke, an aberration, a word that conjures up the image of emasculating, bra-burning angry women who clamor for a world without men.  Feminist is used as an insult meant to brand a woman as being angry or hateful.  But militancy is not the soul of feminism.  Feminism is the conviction that women should be judged based on their accomplishments rather than their gender.  People should be allowed to explore and develop their own unique talents and when they do develop these talents, they should be rewarded in an egalitarian manner that has no bearing on gender.  

          I am not anti-marriage or anti-family.  I am not anti-man.  I have no objection to a woman staying at home to raise her children, just as I have no objection to a woman pursuing a career or forsaking marriage altogether, as long as these choices are independent of gender constraints.  I believe, in the deepest sense of the word, that people should be given the right to shape their own destiny and that gender should not be an obstacle to achieving dreams.  This belief defines who I am as a person.  

          With the recent cuts to Planned Parenthood, the fights over healthcare coverage of contraceptives, the attempts to restrict abortion rights, and the recent comment by Rep. Todd Akin that belittled the suffering of rape victims everywhere, I am feeling besieged.  I am watching as my beloved country slides backwards in terms of human rights and equality.  My body is not a political battlefield; my convictions should not be a source of ridicule or derision.  

          As a woman, my opinions are influenced by my own personal experiences; my experience is that of a woman’s.  But equality is a two-way street; I do not believe that men should be defined by their gender any more than women should.  My primary interest is in the unique talents of an individual, irrespective of whether these traits are in accordance with gender stereotypes or not.  Male, female, straight, gay, young, old, and everything in between - we all share a common bond of humanity that transcends labels.   

          The time has come to redefine what feminism means to our society at large.  And so, at this point in time, I would like to open this discussion to all of the wonderful people that have taken the time to read this post.  What does feminism - and equality - mean to you?  

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below:
Feminism is oppression by the majority under the guise of weakness. Women are most of this country; they are the majority and men the minority. Over the recent years women have come from a place of fewer rights to equal rights. Now, men have fewer rights than women have. So, to me, Feminism is oppression by the majority under the guise of weakness.
"...isms" are artificial manifestos that generally don't work; however, there's a huge difference in the actual experience between the lives of men and women, as well as the cultural and racial differences of people in this country and countries all over the world. Whatever you call it, "feminism, secular humanism, altruism", any organized effort to promote empathy and understanding about the arbitrary prejudice and injustice linked to differences of people deserves consideration and support... too bad some folks still don't get that.
oh boy. controversy right out of the gate.

hm. my older sister the social worker Hippy Extraordinaire,
is what i think of when i think of that word, feminism.
she nurtures the soul of Womankind.
by using the special feminine gifts of
empathy and emotional intelligence
and language skills
and ...well, heart.
things
men certainly have, and are capable of using, but
due to cultural conditions are stunted in the application of...

the soul of Woman has suffered much .
the advances brought by the 'first wave' of Feminism
are magnificent.
A woman's right to her own body and her own labor.
a 'New Wave' of feminism must come to terms with
the very real hatred
the first wave stirred up.
thus it must stress more than legal and economic 'rights'.

what is it that endows us with these 'rights'?
government, or a social contract?
no.
as u say, our shared humanity.
but what is this thing, 'humanity'?
delve.
I suspect there are a lot of other people waking up after many of the absurd things that the GOP has been doing. I wish it wasn't necessary to wait for draconian activities like this to stir people up and hopefully if a better more responsive system is set up it won't be in the future.
Great post and I am in line with your ideas.
It wasn't easy to be a Democrat or a feminist at BYU in 1977 when the church was in the battle against the ERA. I was both, and have never forgotten being on the front lines of it. Some express surprise that anyone who is or ever has been Mormon could be a feminist, but I personally know many such people, both male and female, as I expect you do. I don't have to go any further than my Facebook page to find handfuls of them, some of them prominently so.
My brand of feminism does not require me to dislike, belittle, subordinate or hate men. Even as a pre-teen I understood the gulf between the opportunities afforded the two genders and I hated it. My first "campaign" was to lobby for the elimination of so-called "girls' rules" in my high school physical education program. I fought, most unsuccessfully, to get girls' sports removed from the intramural restriction and have girls' teams compete with other schools' girls' teams.

I have always believed that the genders are equally talented in most things and should be able to compete for opportunities on a level playing field. I have had to concede, finally, that women are generally not as physically strong as most men, but there was at time when I fought that idea tooth and nail, too.

Feminism, to me, is inclusionary, not exclusionary. I like men a lot, both for the obvious reasons and for reasons of pure, platonic friendship. I have no interest in diminishing them in order to foster my own importance. I just want to be valued equally within this culture.

Lezlie
There is no single monolithic feminism. This is why it can be both empowering and restricting at the same time. It allows people to find their own place in the feminist movement but at the same time, it hinders solidarity since we all approach issues in different ways (and what constitutes an issue for one, isn't necessarily important to another). At times we condemn each other for it because we feel it's not the "right" way to approach an issue or it may not be the way we would approach it.

In our post-modern society, many believe feminism is no longer an issue. However, it's not as simple as women having the same rights as men. It is the many intersections of identity and experience such as gender, race, class, age, ability...etc. that work to shape the power and social mobility or lack thereof that one has/doesn't have that really makes the difference in people's lives. Also, our society tends to be stuck in the biological/physical making it difficult to expand our thinking to include ideas of shared dignity and respect beyond the body.

Ultimately, feminism to me, extends beyond our socially constructed ideas of gender, of identity in general. Feminism is appreciating and acknowledging dignity in difference, something we can all hopefully find commonality in.
Good for you, pmg. I'm tired of hiring "I'm not a feminist but ...." My response is always, "What's wrong with being a feminist?"

By the way, I saw the BBC documentary on Mormonism on Current TV this week and thought immediately of your own experience, shared here.
P.S.: Woops. "Hiring" in the previous comment was supposed to be "hearing," as in I'm tired of hearing women who really are in favor of equal rights disavowing the word "feminism." I like the title of your post a lot. It's completely unapologetic.