A POST-MORMON LIFE

Life after leaving the Mormon Church

Rachel Velamur

Rachel Velamur
Location
Texas,
Birthday
February 15
Bio
Born and raised in a strict Mormon family. I write about what life was like as a Mormon and what my life is like after leaving.

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SEPTEMBER 18, 2012 6:55PM

The Stigma Of Being Poor And Mormon

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                As far back as I can remember, the leaders have promised that if a person has the faith to pay tithing, then “the Lord will open the windows of Heaven and pour out his richest blessings”.  Leaders repeat this promise over and over, in different permutations of the original revelation on tithing by the leader Lorenzo Snow, when he promised that if members paid their tithing, rain would fall and rescue crops suffering from a drought.  Leaders talk about how you can’t afford not to pay tithing.  They give examples of people who paid tithing and were miraculously able to make ends meet.  They promise - over and over - that having the faith to pay your tithing will result in blessings.

                And since Mormons tend to be literal when interpreting the promises of their leaders, this creates an odd dynamic.  As we repeated, over and over, “The Church is perfect.  People aren’t.”  Since the Church is perfect - and the imperfection of people provide such an easy scapegoat - a lack of material blessings is assumed to be correlated with a lack of faith. 

                My parents were poor.  For them, paying tithing was an extreme act of faith, as often the money that was paid to the Mormon Church was desperately needed to feed the family.  And yet paying tithing didn’t result in more material wealth.  My parents struggled along, trying to make the pennies match up, while performing the requirements of Mormonism with diligence.  The faith of my parents - to pay tithing even when swtruggling to make ends meet - is an awe-inspiring testament to their commitment to the Mormon Church. 

                If you look at the members that tend to rank higher in hierarchy - bishopric, stake presidency, General Authorities, Presidency - you will notice that these leaders are notable more for their professional and financial success.  Thomas S. Monson, the current President, was an advertising executive and eventual general manager for Deseret News Press.  His first counselor, Henry B. Eyring, is a graduate of Harvard Business School and was a professor at Stanford, as well as the president of Ricks College.  His second counselor, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, was a German aviator and airline executive.  These men were part of the middle to upper class, with significant professional achievements, when they were recruited for leadership.  I have no doubt that there are many good and faithful men from modest backgrounds; however, these men do not seem to be reflected in the makeup of the authorities that are responsible for guiding the Mormon Church. 

                Within my own ward, the leaders who were never from the “ragged” families - the families that worked blue-collar jobs while following the command to have lots of children, even if you couldn’t afford them.  Most of the leaders selected were either college professors or white-collar professionals.  I didn’t notice much of a difference between the leaders and the poorer families in terms of their character or faith.  But I did notice a difference in which families were called to leadership positions. 

                For what it was worth, I don’t think the stigma was applied to me, even though I was from a poor family.  I was a bright student and enthusiastic about my studies; there were a number of wonderful women that stepped in to support and guide me.  But with the oft-repeated promises of receiving blessings if you are faithful enough, there is the implication that a lack of blessings correlates with a lack of faith.  

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Spot on. When my family and I were most active in the Church, during my teenage years and when my mom was still married to her last husband, we were perpetually the poorest members in the ward. Back then, the ward was even more cliquish than it is now. We tried for years to get integrated into those little social circles within the church. We tithed when we could, but there was a while when we even needed a food order, we were so destitute. That was back when my mom and stepdad were trying to adopt his 3 nieces. That was an insane period in my life. But yeah, I've definitely noticed, even after having returned to the ward, how those with more elite temporal positions in life seem to hold higher rankings of callings within the denomination. Heck, our bishop is a professor at a local college. It just seems like those who don't tithe (and those who protest the most during lessons, or who are wholly silent like myself, are the obvious ones) seem to slip between the cracks. I know what they say about having the faith to tithe, but I can't help but scoff because I'd have to have a lot more faith than the most others seem to realize to take money out of my modest household and plug it into a church that funds somewhat impractical things across the globe. There was one guy on Facebook who posted a video about one of the Authorities speaking of how temples are going up in West Africa. Some of those people, bless their hearts, were going in raggedy clothes and no shoes... excuse me for being overly humanist, but shouldn't we be taking care of the people first before tossing up the structures? How do you expect them to tithe to take advantage of the blessings offered by the temple if they can't even afford shoes? I know it's the wrong mindset for your typical member, but it is what it is. It's common sense. Common sense and religion don't tend to mesh.
“The Church is perfect. People aren’t.” O. M. G.
Oh, I was going to add, even as a Devout Catholic Child I think that statement would have sent me running.
Pmg, I know what you mean, my Mormon sister has always lived modestly. But then there are those lavish LDS temples...

I love that comment by theig 86: "Common sense and religion don't tend to mesh." I was just reading an excerpt from a forthcoming memoir by Salman Rushdie in The New Yorker, and wow, his experience with the death sentence he received for "The Satanic Verses" is yet another example of how religious belief is so cockeyed. Stronger word than cockeyed needed, really.
Raised Catholic, I was scolded vehemently for taking my younger sibs to the Mormon Church that was up the hill and across the street from our house in Mercer Island, Washington. Seems like a hundred years ago! Not sure if my folks were as pissed odd about my taking the gang to a non-Catholic Church as much as they were scared shitless that iI crossed a very busy street! We all survived. Catholicism, too! Love you, Mom and Dad!!!
ig: Thanks so much for your perspective - and it is a funny contrast, spending so much money on temples when there are so many members in need.

nerd cred: I heard that statement so many times growing up, it became a refrain.

Alison: The Mormon Church has spent a lot of money on temples, in a somewhat impractical fashion (they rarely run at full capacity or even close to full capacity. My father is a temple worker and from what I hear, activity is pretty slow.)
Cathy: Seems like you've survived pretty well! Thanks for stopping by and commenting. :)
No one/nothing that discriminates against the poor is good. Mormons are not alone WASPs go to church to compare clothes. Excellent post. R
Thank you Thoth, especially for bringing in the added view-point of WASPs (I freely admit that my perspective is limited to my own experiences and second-hand accounts)
Great work, cause it made me think that the stigma for one being poor, has sometimes nothing to do with religion. I am a Christian and I have met what you described, the worst being I have felt it, and I think that it has to do with humans lacking in education, emotional understanding and good heart. I was raised in a family where we always struggled to make means and needs meet, I still am, and I think that society has such an ease on discriminating the other as a failure, just because the other is poor, forgetting their Christian self.

One of the orders I have set to myself is what I had read from Buddha, which is if I can remember it right...

""Treat the last as first, and the first as last'' (excuse my bad memory)

and analyzing this thinking is that one must always be kind towards the unfortunate in life. I think kindness is the best act in each religion system.

Rated.
Thanks Stathi - it is odd sometimes how the ideals of Christianity can be misconstrued in ways that harm good people. Thanks for your very thoughtful comment.
Hmm, sort of fits into the whole Romney thing...
Myriad: I think there are some parallels that can be drawn.