Use short sentences.

What he said. We prefer fewer words.

Because the average business man's attention span is short and he cannot remember how the sentence began?

Hee

::nods::

Business style-wise my considered recommendation would be to develop and utilize a polysyllabic orotundity whereby, contextually speaking, opacity overcomes content and, ceteris paribus, your interlocutors are so perplexedly impressed that they festoon you with honors, moolah and long-term contracts. Think Alan Greenspan.

WOOF

Because time is money and he wants you to get to your point as fast as possible.

This is what he wants to know:

who is answered, you and him, but also target of market
what, describe what you are selling succinctly including price
where, how will it be shipped or displayed, point of sale
when, lead time and when it is season for it
why, what make you think people will buy this thing?

Business men and women all over are like this.

"Meander" has too many syllables to use with them.

What is your new business? I thought you wrote and made wool related objet d'apparrel...

Yeah, CCC, we have one of those in the company. I am currently editing his work. This is construction, after all.

Yeah, I do Priddy but I need a steady paycheck. I am a construction project coordinator. Don't I sound important? It's always been server or artist.

“Yeah, I do Priddy but I need a steady paycheck. I am a construction project coordinator. Don't I sound important? It's always been server or artist.”

2nd time

Try to answer these questions: who, what, why, when, how? Avoid adjectives and adverbs.

Write more business-like, and less literary-like.

Great advice, mikelkpoet, just what I needed ;-).

Thanks, Honeychile, ePriddy, everyone. So basically, take the personality out.

When you are getting ready to write something -- a letter, a memo, whatever. Ask yourself this question first: What do I want them to do after reading this?

Make every word, every sentence, every paragraph, serve that end. Include only the words and information you need. No descriptions unless necessary.

Best description thus far. Thanks Liz.

If you don't already-- use the "Readability and Flesich Kincaid grade level" function on Word.

It measures grade level of the writing. If you're not at 4th-6th grade level; scrub the prose till you are.

All good advice, Roger and Liz dead on the money.

Seperate your information into packets
for the subgroups on the project
with bulletted action items.

Do not use complete sentences.

Yours would read like this:

Lauren's duties on project x:

-write what needs to be done
-write who needs to do it and when
-indicate review procedure to update project action progress
-kick back and wait for work to ensue

See? Easy peezey.
(Don't use that term with construction workers.)

Write what you would normally write, then remove all soul or accountability. That should work.There should be a "find and substitute" button for this in MSWord.

If I were to use your post to demonstrate business writing, I would reword as follows:

I am seeking advice on business writing. I have recently taken a new position that requires business writing skills and I am not confident my literary style will translate well in this arena. Practical dos and do nots will be helpful. Also, please don't be afraid to critique what you've observed about my writing style.

Haggis and Lonnie are right on. To this I'll add: get to the verb / point quickly. Use exact language. Assume the reader is busy and will be scanning your writing looking for a) your questions, or b) your assertions and will miss any and all nuance. Write accordingly.

And yes, take the personality out. If you get to the point and help the receiver of your missives save time, hassle and money, there will be plenty of time for personality-based, seal-the-deal type relationship building down the road.

Very good example, Sandra, thank you.

Who could add anything to Sandra's sage advice? That was awesome.

As I'm typing this, there was just a Palin sound bite smearing Obama re the Ayers association. Why can't we all just get along?

mwah!

double mwah!

Oh mention me a lot. Construction guys just love love love me.

I give you this advice in all seriousness. Use bulleted lists whenever possible. Executive types love bulleted lists.

Try this book. You can get it cheap on amazon

Effective Business Writing :A Guide For Those who Write On the Job) 2nd Edition Revised And Updated (Paperback)
by Maryann V. Piotrowski

I missed Liz's comment, which is one of the best ones on this thread. We should all follow Liz. Then, sandman, we'd all get along.

I feel your pain, Lauren--it might seem that moving from an academic style to a business style would be straightforward, but it's very hard for me.

Try this. You can get it on amazon cheap

Effective Business Writing :(A Guide For Those who Write On the Job) 2nd Edition Revised And Updated (Paperback)
by Maryann V. Piotrowski

Well, I'm teaching a business writing class even as we speak.

Basically, the advice everyone is giving here is great. Just say the basics. Remember your audience. Don't use slang. Avoid polysyllabic words unless they are oriented to that particular business. Don't get chatty or ask about the weather there or anything like that. Keep to a business letter format. Don't be afraid to use bullet points instead of just listing. Use formal headings to change the subject instead of long paragraph transitions.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/681/01/

The above is a great online resource.

Thanks to EVERYONE for all your help. It assisted me in the letter I was editing today from a superintendent to a property manager. Of course, I get no credit for it and everyone will think the super is a great writer. It's a good thing I get reassurance from you all.

There's not much to add to all the great advice, but there a few technical things I try to remember:

Write in the active voice using present tense.
Be concise. Write and then edit to remove unnecessary words.

Like the sentences above :-)

For very formal letters, I try to avoid using personal pronouns and contractions.

Sandra nailed it. To that, I would like to highlight the difference in approach between her "edit" and your original version.

1. No humor.
2. No pop culture references.
3. No editorializing or personal opinion.
4. No personal references beyond: "I hope you are well." or "I appreciate your time blah blah blah".

It is all about the tone -- if it looks like you are writing an email to your friend, then it is probably too casual. If you are using any form of slang or colloquial language, it is probably too casual.

There may be other things but these are the things that stand out as I think about the differences between my "work" writing and my "personal" writing.

Good luck.

Since this is something I am constantly working on, my motto is:

Less is more.

Start out with many, many words. Then boil it down until you have something tasty. Which is not at all unlike cooking.

Lauren, I agree with Roger's comment, but one addition: if you're writing about anything technical move up to 8th grade level. It's still simple enough for quick comprehension, but gives you enough vocabulary not to get too wordy. It's the level the USAF used to write its Technical Orders (technical manuals for repair) back in the day.

I always like to acknowledge those among you who make me chuckle, guffaw, or otherwise laugh out loud. Thank you, Umbrellakinesis, for doing just that.

One thing that has not been mentioned, in keeping with Liz' always sound advice:

- Be specific about what you are asking. Provide a response date and a preferred format for responding (make it easy, if possible).

A couple of other tidbits gleaned from some usability studies on writing for the web, which I think translates directly into business writing:
* Eliminate all unnecessary words. Go back, eliminate half the words again
* Use direct, active verbs
* Use visual cues and separation to block off ideas, themes
* Be polite, but not too fawning in asking for things
* Spell-check
* Keep it simple

Applying this technique to Sandra's excellent example, you'd get something like:

__
I write to seek your advice on business writing. My new position requires business writing skills. I am unsure that my artistic writing experience will translate well. Please provide your suggestions on:

* Practical Dos and Don'ts
* Related Reference Material
* Critique/suggestions on my writing

Please respond by Friday via email or the enclosed envelope. Thank you for your kind attention.

Sincerely,
PF
___
Another quasi-related, but hopefully helpful reference is
Jacob Nielsen's Alertbox
Nielsen is a bit of an old-fashioned purist regarding web design, but his concepts for writing for the web are applicable here.

Thanks, lpsrocks. Thanks everyone. When I asked for advice, I never anticipated the response I got and it helps me realize and appreciate what a good network of friends I have here on Open Salon. I'm very fortunate.

I don't envy you at all writing Construction letters and compiling close-out manuals. I worked for 10 years as a consultant for one of the Big Six accounting firms - we had to do workpapers for every project. For the first six years or so, they had to be done with corner punches in this very specific format. Everyone hoarded their corner punch.

Finally, someone suggested we could use binders. Just goes to show - it can always be worse. Hang in there and good luck with the biz stuff.

Thanks lps, it's a job that I needed and, although parts of it don't excite me, I do like learning new things. I'm not thrilled with others getting the credit for my writing skills (though maybe I can add ghost writer to my resume!).

I don't think I could handle the accounting industry at all. Those classes were some of the hardest for me during college and soooo much work.