pretend_farmer
- Location
- Scottsdale, Arizona, United States
- Birthday
- March 04
- Title
- Maker
- Company
- Rancho Laurena Rustic Arts
- Bio
- A wanton young lady of Wimley,
Reproached for not acting more primly, Answered, "Heavens above!
I know sex isn't love,
But it's such an attractive facsimile."
MY RECENT POSTS
- The Demon Within
April 25, 2012 11:52AM - Flaming Thunderbolts and Other
Dangly Bits
April 04, 2012 04:40PM - Fifty Shades of Fantasy Porn
March 23, 2012 06:05PM - The Walking Dead, or Lauren's
Non-excellent Adventure
March 08, 2012 05:15PM - "The Pastry Queen", Royally
Untested for Home Kitchens
January 30, 2011 05:39PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Very, very cool; time's
mutability indeed. I love this
(and
you, dear one).”
April 26, 2012 01:42PM - “You had an erector set,
didn't you,
Gary?
Thanks for the
comments and
compliments.…”
April 04, 2012 10:39PM - “As you should be, Dear
One. :)”
April 04, 2012 09:31PM - “They do dangle on
occasion. Except for poor
Priapus. That
mythological
Viagra did…”
April 04, 2012 09:02PM - “Thanks, guys! I had fun
writing it even if it just
floats in
cyberspace.”
April 04, 2012 08:31PM
Pretend_farmer's Links
- Worthy Sites
- Pretending to Farm
"Hell's Kitchen NIGHTMARES Iron TOP Chef Cafeteria THROWDOWN
To soufflé or not to soufflé,
That is the question
Whether 'tis simpler for the gut to suffer
The preservatives of microwaved Stouffers,
Or to take whisks against a saucepan of butter and
flour
And, by gyrating, mix them. To warm, to
heat… Read full post »
In my addled mind, chickens occupy two distinct roles, the ones I buy pre-packaged at the grocer for eating and the ones I feed every morning for loving and eggs. And never the twain shall meet although I do get the question all the time:
“Do you eat your… Read full post »
Typically, our esteemed Liz Emrich guides the OS foodies through the first season of Top Chef Masters, a spin-off featuring celebrity chefs competing for charity and ego. Yet, this week Ms Liz is off playing with the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) at Pennsic and I graciously offe… Read full post »
Stillwater, OK, December 2, 1983. I am 20 years old and gathered in a nondescript three bedroom/two bath ranch rental house with a group of fellow Oklahoma State students and co-workers. To set the college scene, the big event was preceded by a blindfolded beer tasti/… Read full post »
I made a mistake today; I skimmed Gary Justis’ post.
Okay, to clarify, I lurve Gary. He’s a great writer, great storyteller, great all-around nice as pie guy. But today, he wrote about dolls. This was over 30 minutes ago and my pulse hasn’t quieted yet.&nb… Read full post »
A lot of things in my life could, or perhaps, should have killed me.
At four, I broke a glass milk bottle, slashing my wrist, in a botched attempt to make myself cereal early one weekend morning. My quick thinking father, who ripped my favorite green and… Read full post »
Gramma Dorsee (nee Kroneberger) was a force of nature, tall and big-boned with the work ethic of ten men. She was also one of the many blessings of my life. When I was a young child, I spent just about every weekend with her, eating her homemade applesauce, playing Uncle Wiggly… Read full post »
I just received the following email from the Rio Verde Horseman's Association:
Hi Neighbors,
Just want to let you all know that there have been several sightings of mountain lions here in the vicinity of 162nd to 164th and from Rio Verde Drive south
… Read full post »
Here in rural northeast Scottsdale, we have had an epidemic of abandoned horses as of late. The local Rio Verde Horseman’s Association email alert system has been full of horses found and the rescue societies have begun waving their adoption fees in order to o/… Read full post »
Today, in order to get a jump on my one and only New Year’s Resolution, Good Health, I threw the kids off our new-as-of-Christmas Wii and began WiiFit. Archetype wrote about some of the humiliation involved in this program. In order to begin, one stands on the &ldq… Read full post »
Sent to me via email by our local Rio Verde Horsemen's Association:

The active New Year’s Eve population can be divided into two segments, the drones, or worker bees, and the revelers, or cheap silly hat wearers. Until a few years ago, I always fell into former category, early on as a babysitter up for the highest bidder (because a babysitter on New… Read full post »
This morning, I woke up sad. Although we had a great time on our trip, a berry, berry great time as The Child of Four would say, I wasn’t ready to leave. My mind told me of all the tasks still in need of completing before Christmas, a… Read full post »

lpsrocks was dead on with her post about annual Christmas cards and the lengths people go to portray themselves as the perfect photogenic family. And every year we fall prey to the keep-up-with-the-Calvins pressure, trying to take a photo of our spawn which shows them in their… Read full post »
Marshall fell in the pool today, into the deep end, and could not get himself out. If not for a fortunate coincidence, my husband getting up from his desk to stop the stove from boiling over and noticing the commotion, he would have drowned. He was clueless how/… Read full post »

Drag yourself off that couch. It's time to cook some real food. No canned fillings, no prepackaged gravy, no tin-shaped cranberry sauce, no lowfat. Lots of flavor, lots of goodness. We're cooking the no-fake-stuff way (okay, I'll let you off the hook for Pepperid… Read full post »

Here I am, a day late, a dollar short, and a brain cell missing. Although Foodie Wednesday doesn't have that clever ring to it, we do eat on days other than Tuesday and today I cranked out a masterpiece worthy of sharing, Chicken Tortilla Soup.
I have always been… Read full post »
As has been typical for the last couple weeks, I did not sleep well last night. Today we deliver a very large baby, one we worked hard to conceive and did all the right things to keep healthy. Now, we are in a labor of sorts, unsure how long it will… Read full post »
Living in the boonies as we do, we don’t leave the farm often, at least at night. This past Saturday, however, my father-in-law, who I love with all my heart yet disagree with his politics almost as passionately, visited from San Diego and we ventured to Greas/… Read full post »
As a child of these television shows and a fan of Ron Howard's work, I love this video from Funny or Die. I thought I'd share.

Saturday was shearing day on the farm. Always a group effort, it was led by the illustrious Papa Ernie, a 3rd generation shearer who has also taught Sons Ernie and Robert, 4th generation shearers. To avoid the omnipresent heat which still reaches an unpalatable 90+ every day, we g… Read full post »
A good portion of my family are dyed in the wool Republicans, the few exceptions being my mother and a few cousins. I thought we had a detente of sorts, I won't talk about how wonderful Obama is if you don't proclaim your undying love for Sarah Palin. Plus, you… Read full post »

Taken shortly after McCain's "that one" remark, all the dogs were truly turned off. Cordelia continued to watch, but Marshall became apathetic and Millie could not hide her disgust.

I fell in love with this man the moment I laid eyes on him, my eyes on those beautiful blues. I loved him more when I found he was unattainable, a devoted husband to his now-widowed Joanne Woodward. I loved his movies, his off-screen personality, but most of all, his… Read full post »
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