pretend_farmer

pretend_farmer
Location
Scottsdale, Arizona, United States
Birthday
March 04
Title
Maker
Company
Rancho Laurena Rustic Arts
Bio
A wanton young lady of Wimley, Reproached for not acting more primly, Answered, "Heavens above! I know sex isn't love, But it's such an attractive facsimile."

MY RECENT POSTS

Pretend_farmer's Links

Worthy Sites

cactus flower 

In the years we have had this small potted cactus collection, which I might add is the only outdoor potted plant that has managed to stay alive here, this particular cactus has never bloomed.  Not once in over three years.  Yesterday, however, as water truck after water truc… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 20, 2008 8:57PM

The Week in Review

muddy shoes 

flooded backyard 

berm rebuilding 

berm 

frogs 

scorpion 

mud pool 

Albert 

draining mud pool 

cleaning 

pull up 

new pool water 

 

I have no words.

Read full post »

JULY 20, 2008 3:13PM

Chinese Brush Painting

crayfish 

 In 1984, when my parents were living in Hong Kong and I had the good fortune to visit, my mother and I took a side trip into mainland China.  More than venturing into a different country, touring the backroads of rural China was like entering another time, another… Read full post »

JULY 19, 2008 6:34PM

A Brief Anatomy Lesson

 

After reading Bibliofiles' post concerning a similar, as in identical, subject matter, I recalled this post I had written in February of 2007 on my own personal blog.  Do you think stupid people were put on this earth to make us liberal elite feel better about ourselves?  c;-)/Read full post »

JULY 18, 2008 8:38PM

"The Other"

I had a big ass list going,  a list I've been trying to write all day without success because these strange people that inhabit my home need things from me, because my son the former pyromaniac decided to make beignets for the first time and I felt the need… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 18, 2008 9:40AM

Point/Counterpoint, Rachel Rayguns

Cesar Romero Joker rachel Ray Joker

Before I begin this Mad Typist-inspired diatribe, I have to admit I was supposed to write about Brett Favre and my Point/Counterpoint position that he should stay home and enjoy his wide-screen TV, his La-Z-Boy snack well, and his various recliner positions and postures. Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 16, 2008 1:19AM

Farewell, Albert Einstein

Albert and Anthony 

Just a few short moments ago, we lost our friend, family member, and pet, Albert Einstein.  Albert came to us via the Wool Festival at Taos and has inhabited our master bath for the past 20 months. 

Albert

He was the first to greet me in my… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 15, 2008 3:44PM

Calf Wars, Junior

 Anthony 

Although pensiveness replaces flirtation and toddler replaces ingenue, for me this photograph evokes memories of Claudette Colbert in "It Happened One Night." 

stuck bobcat 

Unfortunately, the bobcat was stuck and, no matter how coy the Pint-Sized Farmer acted, it&nbs… Read full post »

calf wars 

I posted David's calf at another post's finish

Which instead of highlighting it tended to diminish

So I'm uploading it anew

Placing it on top of the queue

As the sight of it makes me feel rather sin-ish.

 

So ladies (and gentlemen) enjoy the quick hook

As this … Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 14, 2008 12:54PM

Ruination Day Part II - God Moves on the Water Casey Jones

We interrupt this Monday's Creature Feature (though if you look closely, you will notice a misnamed critter) to document the effects of an ill-placed monsoon-driven downpour.

house 

First, the good news.  Our home, as far as we know, did not take on water.  Mud lapped the… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 13, 2008 9:21PM

FLASH FLOOD

flooded backyard 

This afternoon the skies opened up.  After our initial happy rain dance, it became very apparent this was anything but a happy event.  farmyard

Our yard is flooded, our pool full of mud, and our berm of rip-rap is undermined and downriver somewhere.  The repair… Read full post »

JULY 11, 2008 5:44PM

Of All the Friends I've Never Met

 

It’s a Friday afternoon that followed a health matters-filled Friday morning and a self-pity soaked Thursday afternoon and evening.  My rheumatologist visit was simultaneously scary, upsetting, guarded, and hopeful. It shook me more than is typical but that in itself is unsurprisi/… Read full post »

JULY 10, 2008 11:16PM

Cutting the Fat

Today, I spent a few hours trimming non-essential expenses from our budget (or lack thereof).  No more Netflix, HBO, newspaper, audible.com, and myfooddiary.com.   I'll miss them but for the most part, it's painless.  I'm preparing myself for the second, more painful round. … Read full post »

young Obama and McCain 

 

Forget Arizona, I'm in the State of Pissed Off. Read full post »

Today, an acquaintance of mine whose one claim to fame is knowing the drummer in Eric Clapton's band, someone I don't consider smart or knowledgeable, but, at the same time, someone who represents a majority opinion here in the close-minded red state of Arizona, forwarded the following sickening emRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 8, 2008 10:15AM

Sing a Song, Canis latrans, It's Monday's Creature Feature

Coyote 

Each evening from the start of dusk, we listen to coyotes by the hundreds begin their nightly routine. They start with a few lone howls, follow with a busy chorus, and culminate with a shrill cacophony reminiscent of the raucous cheers at large sporting venues.  They walk thRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 6, 2008 4:46PM

Animate Inanimate

Shaun Ray Okay, I’ll admit it.  I have a strong attachment to certain objects in my house, things that have a story behind them and art that speaks to me.  I don’t typically name them, though I admit to calling our truck “Big Chip” and the plastic bull head used/… Read full post »

JULY 3, 2008 1:40PM

Life's a Beach

Outer Banks 

Summer and I don’t like each other.  Summer throws heat, humidity, and mosquitoes my way, all of which I do my best to ignore.  Unlike my cohorts who could play for hours in the cloying North Carolina July weather, I was a wimp.  On more than one/… Read full post »

JULY 1, 2008 9:57PM

Sexism, Alive and Well at Home

I already posted once today so I'll make this quick but not painless.

If you haven't read enough of my dribble yet, I'll get you up to speed.  My husband and I have been married for 21 years, first and hopefully only marriage for each of us.  We have… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 1, 2008 2:27PM

Tarting It Up - Foody Tuesday

lemon tree 

Ah, summer.  With a few exceptions, I hate it.  The heat and I have never gotten along.  It saps my strength and melts my emotional well-being.  One of the few highlights of summertime, however, is the plethora of fresh fruit not grown in Chile that is available, c… Read full post »

Just when you thought it was safe to farm…

 

tarantula 

This crawls your way.  Bellatrix is a big girl, don’t you think?  As tarantulas are typically nocturnal and are seen at daylight only during the summer monsoon season, she is not used to human attention (or obliv/… Read full post »

 

After writing about my top ten television shows, I got a little reverse flack.  My list was, gulp, educational, my choices, according to my favorite Priddy Woman, were “highbrow and evocative of British humour.” 

 

To counter any impression that I am a liberal elit… Read full post »

JUNE 26, 2008 3:01PM

Greasewood Flat

Greasewood Flat  

Featuring  a mean green chile burger with chips (no fries, sorry, too fancy), cold longnecks by the trough-full, and a one-man band to draw your two-step  to the dance floor, Greasewood Flat is an outdoor local, tourist, and biker magnet.  Yes, it gets w… Read full post »

JUNE 25, 2008 1:20PM

Pretend Farmer's Top Ten TV Shows

To provide the yin for Mad Typist’s yang, I hereby submit, in no particular order, a skewed-to-me (whom it is all about) list.

 
  1. “American Experience” – (PBS) always interesting, sometimes topical, I always learn something.  Ditto for:
  2. “American Masters&rdquo/
  3. Read full post »