pretend_farmer
- Location
- Scottsdale, Arizona, United States
- Birthday
- March 04
- Title
- Maker
- Company
- Rancho Laurena Rustic Arts
- Bio
- A wanton young lady of Wimley,
Reproached for not acting more primly, Answered, "Heavens above!
I know sex isn't love,
But it's such an attractive facsimile."
MY RECENT POSTS
- "The Pastry Queen", Royally
Untested for Home Kitchens
January 30, 2011 05:39PM - In Which I Get to the Vanilla
Extract Eventually
January 29, 2011 12:55PM - Fugue at 350 Degrees
Fahrenheit
January 28, 2011 01:23PM - Four Years and Counting
January 27, 2011 03:27PM - Give Me a Slug of Booze!
November 19, 2010 07:49PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “I adore this story. And
you for writing it.”
January 13, 2012 06:14PM - “I don't know who you are
but I love you.”
June 12, 2011 07:25PM - “Drive safely, my friend.
Godspeed.”
April 06, 2011 07:44PM - “Thanks, Poetess. It does
really make a difference in
recipes
(there, I go being
a…”
January 29, 2011 02:16PM - “Thank you all. Joy is an
elusive feeling, I'm afraid,
but I
do try.”
January 27, 2011 04:11PM
Pretend_farmer's Links
- Worthy Sites
- Pretending to Farm
From Chaos... Beauty and Misfiring Synapses
In the years we have had this small potted cactus collection, which I might add is the only outdoor potted plant that has managed to stay alive here, this particular cactus has never bloomed. Not once in over three years. Yesterday, however, as water truck after water truc… Read full post »
Chinese Brush Painting
In 1984, when my parents were living in Hong Kong and I had the good fortune to visit, my mother and I took a side trip into mainland China. More than venturing into a different country, touring the backroads of rural China was like entering another time, another… Read full post »
A Brief Anatomy Lesson
After reading Bibliofiles' post concerning a similar, as in identical, subject matter, I recalled this post I had written in February of 2007 on my own personal blog. Do you think stupid people were put on this earth to make us liberal elite feel better about ourselves? c;-)/… Read full post »
"The Other"
I had a big ass list going, a list I've been trying to write all day without success because these strange people that inhabit my home need things from me, because my son the former pyromaniac decided to make beignets for the first time and I felt the need… Read full post »

Before I begin this Mad Typist-inspired diatribe, I have to admit I was supposed to write about Brett Favre and my Point/Counterpoint position that he should stay home and enjoy his wide-screen TV, his La-Z-Boy snack well, and his various recliner positions and postures. … Read full post »
Just a few short moments ago, we lost our friend, family member, and pet, Albert Einstein. Albert came to us via the Wool Festival at Taos and has inhabited our master bath for the past 20 months.

He was the first to greet me in my… Read full post »
Although pensiveness replaces flirtation and toddler replaces ingenue, for me this photograph evokes memories of Claudette Colbert in "It Happened One Night."
Unfortunately, the bobcat was stuck and, no matter how coy the Pint-Sized Farmer acted, it&nbs… Read full post »
How Do You Flex Thee? Let Me Count the Ways.
I posted David's calf at another post's finish
Which instead of highlighting it tended to diminish
So I'm uploading it anew
Placing it on top of the queue
As the sight of it makes me feel rather sin-ish.
So ladies (and gentlemen) enjoy the quick hook
As this … Read full post »
We interrupt this Monday's Creature Feature (though if you look closely, you will notice a misnamed critter) to document the effects of an ill-placed monsoon-driven downpour.
First, the good news. Our home, as far as we know, did not take on water. Mud lapped the… Read full post »
This afternoon the skies opened up. After our initial
happy rain dance, it became very apparent this was anything
but a happy event.
Our yard is flooded, our pool full of mud, and our berm of rip-rap is undermined and downriver somewhere. The repair… Read full post »
Of All the Friends I've Never Met
It’s a Friday afternoon that followed a health matters-filled Friday morning and a self-pity soaked Thursday afternoon and evening. My rheumatologist visit was simultaneously scary, upsetting, guarded, and hopeful. It shook me more than is typical but that in itself is unsurprisi/… Read full post »
Cutting the Fat
Today, I spent a few hours trimming non-essential expenses from our budget (or lack thereof). No more Netflix, HBO, newspaper, audible.com, and myfooddiary.com. I'll miss them but for the most part, it's painless. I'm preparing myself for the second, more painful round. … Read full post »
Cure The World, It's Viral; or Racism Pure and Simple
One Nation Under God Not Allah or More False Propaganda
Today, an acquaintance of mine whose one claim to fame is knowing the drummer in Eric Clapton's band, someone I don't consider smart or knowledgeable, but, at the same time, someone who represents a majority opinion here in the close-minded red state of Arizona, forwarded the following sickening em… Read full post »
Each evening from the start of dusk, we listen to coyotes by the hundreds begin their nightly routine. They start with a few lone howls, follow with a busy chorus, and culminate with a shrill cacophony reminiscent of the raucous cheers at large sporting venues. They walk th… Read full post »
Okay, I’ll admit
it. I have a strong attachment to certain
objects in my house, things that have a story behind them and art
that speaks to me. I don’t typically name
them, though I admit to calling our truck “Big Chip”
and the plastic bull head used/… Read full post »
Life's a Beach
Summer and I don’t like each other. Summer throws heat, humidity, and mosquitoes my way, all of which I do my best to ignore. Unlike my cohorts who could play for hours in the cloying North Carolina July weather, I was a wimp. On more than one/… Read full post »
Sexism, Alive and Well at Home
I already posted once today so I'll make this quick but not painless.
If you haven't read enough of my dribble yet, I'll get you up to speed. My husband and I have been married for 21 years, first and hopefully only marriage for each of us. We have… Read full post »
Ah, summer. With a few exceptions, I hate it. The heat and I have never gotten along. It saps my strength and melts my emotional well-being. One of the few highlights of summertime, however, is the plethora of fresh fruit not grown in Chile that is available, c… Read full post »
Just when you thought it was safe to farm…
This crawls your way. Bellatrix is a big girl, don’t you think? As tarantulas are typically nocturnal and are seen at daylight only during the summer monsoon season, she is not used to human attention (or obliv/… Read full post »
Pretend Farmer’s Silly Little Movie List
After writing about my top ten television shows, I got a little reverse flack. My list was, gulp, educational, my choices, according to my favorite Priddy Woman, were “highbrow and evocative of British humour.”
To counter any impression that I am a liberal elit… Read full post »
Greasewood Flat
Featuring a mean green chile burger with chips (no fries, sorry, too fancy), cold longnecks by the trough-full, and a one-man band to draw your two-step to the dance floor, Greasewood Flat is an outdoor local, tourist, and biker magnet. Yes, it gets w… Read full post »
Pretend Farmer's Top Ten TV Shows
To provide the yin for Mad Typist’s yang, I hereby submit, in no particular order, a skewed-to-me (whom it is all about) list.
- “American Experience” – (PBS) always interesting, sometimes topical, I always learn something. Ditto for:
- “American Masters&rdquo/ … Read full post »
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