Procopius

Procopius
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Rockford, Illinois, USA
Birthday
February 05
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I'm a regular middle aged guy, living in a regular middle class neighborhood, in a regular middle-sized community in the middle of America. I am an expatriate Texan transplanted to the Midwest, and wondering how I got here, and where I'm headed.

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JANUARY 25, 2009 7:15PM

Cambodia 1993: A Phnom Penh Wedding

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This is the fourth and final post about my 1993 trip to Cambodia.  Earlier posts dealt with daily street scenes in Phnom Penh, visible reminders of the war years, and a trip into the Cambodian countryside.

 

The primary reason I went to Cambodia in 1993 was to attend the wedding of a good friend.  He had gone to Cambodia the previous year, not long after the country opened up to the outside world, to teach English under the sponsorship of an American university.  While there, he grew close to a young Cambodian woman who worked at the institute where he taught.  Soon, the two of them fell in love, and they married in March, 1993. 

 

Once I learned of the wedding plans, I cashed in frequent flyer miles for a flight to Bangkok.  From there, it was a short flight to Phnom Penh, and to a world utterly foreign to anything I had experienced before.

 

Most traditional Khmer weddings used to last three days.  Nowadays, a two day ceremony is much more common.

 

The first day was largely a family affair, with few invited guests.  I attended most of the events that day, but did not take photos.  Two Buddhist priests led a low key religious ceremony, and offered blessings to the couple and their families.  This took place in the bride’s home.  Everyone sat on the floor, taking special care to sit in such a way that their heads were not elevated higher than the heads of the priests.  I know this was an important issue, since I was sternly reminded of that rule by one of the priests early in the ceremony.  Oops. 

 

During this first day, I was suffering from fairly intense jet lag (and some abdominal issues I prefer not to recall), and as a result I don’t remember many of the day’s events.  I do remember the string ceremony.  At one point, the couple tied strings around their wrists, symbolizing the fact that they were being joined together as one. 

 

Fortunately, I was able to take a lot of photos the second day, and my memory of that day is much better.  It was the second day that was most fun and colorful.  The pictures below were taken on that festive second day of the wedding ceremony.

  

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      wed1

At 6:00 AM, guests representing the groom began to gather outside his house with a bounty of fruits, meats, pastries, sweets, beverages, and household items.  The foodstuffs have largely replaced the traditional dowry, and are used to feed the family and guests throughout the ceremony.

 

 

 

 

   wed2

The groom and his party line up for a procession to the bride’s home.  The groom began the day dressed in western attire.  Had he been Cambodian, he would likely have started the day dressed in traditional Khmer garments.

 

 

 

 

     wed3

The quantity of food and gifts was truly impressive.  The guests pick out different food items and gifts to carry in the procession.  Poorer Cambodians may only have 10 trays of food and gifts.  Wealthier grooms might provide as many as 200 or more trays.

 

 

 

 

     wed4

Musicians joined the procession, and played traditional Khmer music on the walk to the bride’s home.

 

 

 

 

 

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Once the procession reached the bride’s home, the bride presented the groom a lei, and he returned the favor.

 

 

 

 

 

                             wed6 

Later, all of the gifts are laid out in the bride’s home.  The groom greets his new family and the couple offers blessings for all the gifts.  After blessings, they have breakfast together.

 

 

 

 

     wed7  

What’s a wedding without a pig’s head?

 

 

 

 

 

                             wed8  

The couple disappeared briefly, and re-emerged dressed in new attire.

 

 

 

 

                             wed9  

Soon came the hair cutting ceremony.  This is a fun and lighthearted affair where family and friends cut lockets of hair from the couple.  The first to cut hair is the matriarch of the bride’s family.  In the photo above, the bride’s mother is snipping a locket from her daughter, and will soon do the same with the groom.  This is repeated by other family members and friends, while a master of ceremonies and his partner tease the couple and sing fun songs.

 

 

 

 

     wed10  

Another change of clothes takes place.  In attire fit for Khmer royalty, the couple shows off the bedroom where they will spend their wedding night, and feed one another fruit that was brought during the morning procession.  Note the straw in their hair that was playfully tossed on them shortly before entering their new room.

 

 

 

 

    wed11 

As the day progresses, more wardrobe changes take place.  As I recall, the bride wore a total of eight different silk outfits for the wedding.  In some Cambodian weddings, there may be as many as 10 different bridal gowns.  The picture above shows the bride and her bridesmaids.

 

 

 

 

      wed12  

Following yet another change of clothes, the wedding party prepares for the reception line.  The tables in the background are lined up on the street where the bride’s family lives.  The block was closed to traffic, while all the guests enjoyed a true feast, with traditional Khmer food, fruits, beer, and rice wine.  Just as in an American wedding reception, there is music and dancing far into the night.

 

 

 

 

 

                              wed13

The couple is presented to their guests one last time before retiring to their room in the home of the bride’s family.  It is traditional for Cambodian newlyweds to live with the bride’s family for some time.

 

After another year in Cambodia, my friends moved to Buffalo, NY, where they lived for about a year.  For the past 15 years they have lived in Southern California, and are proud parents of a beautiful teenaged daughter. 

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Comments

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Steve, it was interesting to see the customs related to your friends' wedding. So different than Western weddings. Great to hear that they are in the pleasant climate of Southern California, as opposed to Buffalo with its lake effect snow storms. I'm sorry to read that this is your final post on your Cambodian trip, I've really enjoyed reading each one and seeing your photos from each part of the journey.
Fascinating cultural info of some beautiful scenes and beautiful people. (The pig's head reminds me of one a Scottish wedding I went to. Eew.) I enjoyed this series alot, Steve. We are fellow travelers.
John, the snow of Buffalo was a shock to my Cambodian friend, although not as big a shock as you might think. She had spent some time in Russia during the time of Vietnamese occupation, so she had experienced cold and snow before. Still, I think she was glad to get to a more moderate climate. I'm glad you came along for the virtual ride!

Greg, thanks.

Lea, now I'll have to rent "Four Weddings and a Funeral" to see if any of those 4 weddings included the pig head! Thanks for stopping by.
This is what you call the full package. I get to sit here at my computer and you take anybody who wants to go to the other side of the world. I love it.
Eight different outfits!!

This is all quite amazing and lovely, and the pictures feel somehow both documentary and intimate, because the joy of the couple is so readily apparently. Thanks for this series, and for its happy ending.
What a fabulous wedding. Thanks for sharing a fascinating (and colorful!) experience.
Thank you for posting this series. Fascinating from start to finish. A real treat.
Gorgeous. The amount of ceremony and ritual is fabulous. I attended a lavish Indian wedding that lasted 3 days. I've never seen so much food and partying before in my life. Plus, as a bridesmaid, I was given a beautiful silk sari. That was a nice change from having to buy an expensive, ugly dress.
Wow, that was really a wonderful insightful post. Thanks for sharing!
Roger, thanks...now it's your turn to be the virtual travel guide.

Saturn & Stim, thanks for stopping by. I'm glad y'all enjoyed the virtual tour.

Biblio & Susanne, thank you. I'm really glad you stopped by.

Emma, that must have been a great experience for you. There are a lot of Indian influences on Khmer culture, from wedding ceremony to food to art. I'm sure you would agree that to be able to attend something as intimate as a wedding was a real honor and fabulous cultural experience.
I love the pictures. What a wonderful peek into another culture.
Thanks Kaysong. I'm glad you enjoyed them!
A very enjoyable final post. These are great pictures (and commentary)!
Thanks. Rated.
colorful, lovely and fascinating.

thumbed
grif & Denise, thanks. I'm happy you stopped by!
Beautiful story and wonderful pictures! What an experience for you to have been a part of this!
Thanks. You mentioned:`"a real honor and privilege."
I agree. I've been to Southeast Asia four times. I've taken my two sons, and spent two months in Hanoi in 1993. My youngest son was still a teenager, and one day at one of those feast celebrations, he asked:`Dad, why don't Americans smile as beautifully as the Vietnamese?
My son was not teasing. Touched.
The peasant people are so pleasant.
Their countenance can radiate Beauty.
And they aren't even sipping rice wine.
A Cambodian Family lives in our neighborhood.
Thanks for sharing the experience. I enjoyed them..
Mt neighbor sometimes bring over great soup for greens.
My how things have changed... Did anyone watch this past week's episode of "The Office"? Steve Carell, told by an older gentleman that he learned something when he was in Vietnam got the reply, "Wow, Vietnam.... I hear it's lovely!"

It struck me as so funny but so real in terms of the amount of change there in 30+ years. I have a good friend whose girlfriend escaped Saigon to the U.S. back at the fall of Saigon, and he went back to visit the country and learn about her culture. He said it was such a beautiful place to visit.

Just reminded me of those two things upon further reflection.
typo. Too much stimuli, and fun.
It was 1990. That was before normal "friendly nation" status was made official policy. The State Department approved the two-month gig, when 12 veterans built a Friendship Heath Clinic in Yien Vien, which was 6- km outside of Hanoi. Nixn and Kissinger blew away the former health clinic, and also the populated civilian sectors.
It's The American's Legacy.
A Brutal killing of civilians.
In 1993 I was into Burials.
In 1993 India earthquake.
~ 28,000~ peasants died.
Underground weapon test?
I need to read farm journals.
Faith, thanks. It certainly was a fabulous experience.

Arthur, you certainly gave your sons a lifetime memory back in 1990. Good for you all! Thank you for commenting.
Greg, I did not make it to Vietnam, and Vietnamese culture is quite a bit different than Khmer culture, I think, but the two countries definnitely have a lot in common from a historical perspective. And like they said on the TV show, I hear it is very beautiful, indeed. When I was over there, I went to Thailand after my friend's wedding, and went up to the border area of Thailand, Burma (Myanmar), and Laos -- i.e. the Golden Triangle. I may post about that trip later.
Fascinating peek into another culture! Thanks, Steve.