Dear Procopius,

I know, that’s not your real name, and at 17 you don’t even know who the historical Procopius was.  Still, it is an appropriate alias for a teenage boy with an intense interest in history.  It is that interest, in fact, which partly motivates this letter.  In a year or so, when you will be a freshman in college, you will tell one of your best friends that you are considering a major in History.  Your friend will look incredulous, and he will say something like “Yuck!  Why do something boring and useless like that?”  Procopius, please don’t let silly sentiments like that deter you from your growing passion.  That same young man thought his path would lead him to a career in veterinary medicine, but by the time he completes college, he will have changed course to become a successful writer and poet.  As it is, you will spend far too many years in pursuit of out-of-reach riches in the corporate world instead of doing what your heart has been telling you to do.  That time spent in corporate America won’t be a waste, but it won’t be something you’ll later look back on as your life’s dream, either. 

At 17, you are a young man full of optimism and talent.  If you have one fault, it is your inclination to let monetary considerations motivate your actions much more than necessary.  It is much more important to do what you love than to tolerate what you do.  Remember that as you plan your life and pursue your dreams.

You often bemoan the fact that you are much less experienced in romantic endeavors than many of your peers.  Don’t let that bother you.  Love will come, and will crash on you with such a force that your teenage timidity will vanish as if it were never there in the first place.  Just stay true to yourself, and everything will work out fine as far as girls are concerned.  Oh, and one other thing.  Marla and Lindy both really like you.  I know that, because at your 10 year high school reunion, both of them will tell you how much they wanted you to ask them out.  Why not give one of them a call?  They are both very pretty, don’t you think? 

At 17, you are doing something that will have a lifelong impact on the way you view the world.  You are spending a year with your parents in Munich, and they are letting you see places and experience things that none of your friends back home have seen or done.  You have a vague sense of your good fortune.  You know you have been a good son, usually well behaved and trustworthy.  Your parents recognize that fact, too, and as a result they give you much more freedom than others your age could expect.  You have been using that freedom responsibly.  Keep up the good work.  Having earned their trust, next year your parents will allow you to travel overseas with one of your buddies, and will even foot most of the expense as a graduation present.  Make sure you let them know just how much their generosity means to you. 

That last sentence is especially important.  You don’t know it yet, but your mother’s days are growing short.  Already, there is a microscopic mass of tissue growing on her breast, of which she is totally unaware.  In about a year, she will feel it, and the doctor will tell both of your parents that the prognosis is not good.  The doctor will be correct.  She will suffer greatly, but she will hide it well.  Not for another three years will it actually dawn on you that she will never get better, that she is dying. 

Have you told her you love her today?  When was the last time you did? 

No matter how cool you think you are, you will be much, much cooler if you have the strength and courage to express your love for your parents.  Of course, don’t be too hard on yourself.  They know you love them, but you hurt no one, least of all yourself, by verbally expressing that love.  Go ahead.  Do it.  You’ll feel great afterwards.  Soon, you won’t have the opportunity, and you will regret your silence.

As a 17 year old, I know you aren’t really interested in what advice a middle class 52 year old has to give you.  But I’m going to give you some advice anyway.  It’s really simple.  It’s what I’ve already said in this letter.  Follow your heart.  Don’t be deterred from what you think is the right course of action because of some off-hand comment from a friend.  Don’t let greed sway you, either.  Money is much less important than you think it is.  You are shy, especially around girls, but you don’t need to be.  There is so much to enjoy by interacting with others.  You are far more interesting than you realize!  And finally, don’t be afraid to show your love.  As one who has been the recipient of unconditional love, give some back, and do it verbally.  There is no sentence so sweet as “I love you.”

Love,

Yourself in 35 Years

 P.S.  You're really going to like being a husband and father!