Procopius

Procopius
Location
Rockford, Illinois, USA
Birthday
February 05
Bio
I'm a regular middle aged guy, living in a regular middle class neighborhood, in a regular middle-sized community in the middle of America. I am an expatriate Texan transplanted to the Midwest, and wondering how I got here, and where I'm headed.

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Salon.com
APRIL 10, 2010 9:13AM

Expecting a Child in 101 Words

Rate: 27 Flag

She lay on the table. 

The doctor passed the scanner over her gel covered abdomen.  The man held his wife’s hand and smiled as he remembered watching the tiny heart beat three weeks ago on the screen above the examining table. 

This time it seemed to take longer.  Unwanted thoughts crept into the man’s mind, but he blocked them from reaching the surface.  This was to be a happy day.

A few more seconds passed, the longest seconds he could remember.  Then the doctor said, “There is no heartbeat.  The fetus has died.” 

There were no tears, not yet.  Just silence.

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Comments

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A very poignant piece of writing indeed. I certainly hope you aren't writing from exprience. Rated.
I'll second Adrian's comment: a very nice piece, and surprisingly poignant in just 101 words.
My heart just got ripped out Steve I will third it.
Exceptional piece..
Oh no! So sad, Pro. Sometimes 101 words say so much...
Brutal, old son, and well-done. Sometimes it doesn't take very many words to create a sledgehammer blow.
The hardest thing is to say something when something has left you with no words. This was brave. R.
Dear God in Heaven, please say this isn't so? My heart aches for the meaning behind the words and if they are yours. I must take this as true for someone and for so many. Some very close to me, including myself, experienced this first hand. Life is tentative. Fleeting. Life is curiously selective or not at all. My heart is with you.
this was a gut punch.
An exceptionally poignant piece. _r
This poignant piece just reached back 37 years and recreated one moment in time. Excellent writing evokes strong emotion. This was excellent writing.
-rated-
Oh no is right. A sad tale indeed. Made my heart jump. The silence had much to say...
I know that stillness. Haunting.
Thank you, everybody, for your nice comments. The story is true, but it happened long ago. Time heals the hurt, but it will never erase the memory.
Well done. Sad, terribly sad, but well written in such a brief bit of words. Rated.
Sheila, thank you.
I continue to be flabbergasted by the emotion that 101 words can convey and evoke. So much from so many I can't catch up let alone keep up..

But I'm trying.

Rated for heart and memories..
Certainly a moment that will sear itself into memory. Well done, unfortunately.
Oh, how sad. So much said in 101 words.
Oh how very sad this is. So stark and sad.
Seer & Xenon, 101 words are often plenty, it appears.

Pilgrim & Lea, thank you for your kind comment.
Damn. Just damn.

-R-
My heart sinks for you.r.
i know this place. been there 2 times with a loved one. & it is difficult. heart breaking.

concise & very well written.
sad and lovely. r.
A very touching piece and so well done in 101 words.