Well, I predicted it. A few days ago I commented on a post by OS’s own star blogger, designanator, in which he stated that Obama’s release of the “long form” birth certificate would finally put the entire birther “controversy” to rest. Only half jokingly I said that the true believers would not be ameliorated. They would not consent to the authenticity of anything Obama would release.
In today’s Chicago Tribune, we have an article with the following headline:
Despite proof, “birthers” won’t let issue dieYou see, what Obama released is not a “Birth Certificate”. It is a “Certificate of Live Birth”. Says Sharon Guthrie, an employee of a Texas state legislator who has introduced birther legislation in that state, “What I’ve seen online, what they produced today, still says ‘certificate of live birth’ across the top…We want to see 'Birth Certificate'”. Ms. Guthrie also states that the type writing on the certificate is too perfect to have been produced before computerized word processing came into being. She says the document Obama produced simply could not have been produced in the early 1960’s.
All of this has me concerned. Why? Because apparently my own birth certificate is fraudulent. I presume Sharon Guthrie, like me, is a native of the state of Texas. Since she is so certain that a legitimate birth certificate would actually contain a header saying “Birth Certificate”, I must make the assumption that she holds this belief because her own state of Texas uses that terminology.
Guess what? My birth certificate from the state of Texas does not have the words “Birth Certificate” anywhere on it. My parents must have been part of a conspiracy to fake the circumstances of my birth since my certificate must, according to Texan Sharon Guthrie, be a forgery.
What’s more, whoever produced this document of my alleged birth was a very good typist. So good, in fact, that they must have been using a computer, not a standard 1958-era typewriter.
Oh, how I wish my parents were still alive. I would confront them with this disturbing evidence of their treachery. All this time I thought my father was a mild-mannered professor or Hellenistic Greek, and my mother a high school English teacher. Little did I know they must have been some sort of radical Islamists or Marxists. My whole Id is under siege! Who am I?