Professor Keck's Reality 101


Michigan, USA
December 31
Mary Keck is a writer and blogger. Her articles have appeared on Open Salon, The Public Intellectual, and The Huffington Post. She is currently a columnist for The Times Herald where she writes about nature, outdoor recreation, and wildlife.

SEPTEMBER 24, 2011 1:40PM

The Poor Rich

Rate: 5 Flag

The impoverished and unemployed whiners just don’t seem to get it. If someone working for a Fortune 500 company can’t fly their daughter to her birthday party in a helicopter where her three-foot cake, live band, and brand new Hummer await, that would just ruin her sixteenth birthday! Not allowing me to have my second yacht means they I can't take my entire family and all of my friends on vaction to my private island. I'd only be able to take my close friends and family. You poor and homeless are asking the rich to be selective and show favoritism among the one's they love, and that's just wrong.

How dare you ask that we be taxed just a little more so that you can feed your hungry children, pay your rent, and buy a bed? Your ability to purchase goods has no relationship to my point, nor does it relate to my suffering. What's wrong with going to the soup kitchen and sleeping out in the fresh, open air anyway? Sometimes I fall asleep poolside, and I dream just fine.

Sure, the taxes on the wealthiest Americans are at the lowest they have ever been since the 1950s and unemployment, poverty, and homelessness have increased, but raising taxes will only make that worse! Don't you see? Job creators like me won't have as much money to pay their personal shoppers and might have to lay a few off. The pilots who fly my private jet won't get as many flights in; that's even more lay offs. The number of waitresses and bartenders providing service on my yachts will just have to be cut back.

Here's a plan: sell your spare pair of socks. Oh, you don't have a spare? In that case, just sell the one's you're wearing. Now, with that money, buy two other pairs of socks and sell those. Then, buy four pairs of socks; sell those too. You'll be where I am soon. I know my dad made me CEO after he retired, but it doesn't matter how you get your start. It's really hard work that makes the difference. Until the sock sales pay off, I'll need you to stop complaining about sleeping on the streets and eating only what you can find in the garbage. It makes me feel human. Ew.

Can't say more, I need to get some golf in before my dinner with Obama, which costs $35,800 a plate.

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Would be funny if it wasn't true. Reminds me of the Bill Maher sketch last night.

Job creators indeed! Try creating jobs without the consumers ability to purchase your manufactured items and try being wealthy without the labor force from whom you squeeze your profits.
Taxes on the wealthiest Americans should be at 90% right now. This isn't just a matter of economic fairness either, considering all the cash they've gotten to stash away over the last 30 years of increasingly skewed taxes--it's a matter of economic necessity. There's nowhere else to go to get the money to reshape the economy and end the failed neoliberal "revolution" once and for all. In addition, I would say that progressives should stop using the economic crisis argument without pointing to the political crisis. Until much of the wealth of the ruling class is taxed down, they won't get out of the way politically and allow us to change the situation in the deep structural ways in which it needs to be changed if we're to move forward. It took FDR a long time to get it, too. Without removing class power, nothing will really happen and we'll be mired in a spiral of crisis and violence.
And I'm not talking about the usual business cycle, either. The situation is permanent. There's no recovery "on the way," just in case anyone still believes there is.
Thanks for that sun beam of positivity, Boko. It really raised my spirits. ;)