I have had a hell of a week. My pain level has increased and my mobility has decreased and now I'm just waiting for the call that will hopefully put an end to this chapter of my life.
The funny thing I realized is that this past little while reminds me of something I'd already been through. Pregnancy....that's it! I'm getting more and more uncomfortable, just like I would be if I was nearing the end of my third trimester. It's getting harder to move, which also fits in. And the funniest part is the phone calls. When I was getting close to the due date for both of my children, the calls drove me nuts. Here I was, waiting for the most improtant thing in my life to happen and I was hounded by friends and relatives asking if I was feeling contractions yet or if my water had broken, etc. I finally started to say "Yes...I just decided not to tell anyone the biggest news of my life." Now the same thing is happening with my spine surgery. Not a day goes by without multiple calls and emails, asking if I have my surgery date yet.
Upon reflection, I have taken it a step further. When I was pregnant, I was anxiously awaiting the birth of a human being...the beginning of a new life. When I was pregnant, I was waiting for my children's lives to begin and now I'm waiting for my own new life to begin. I've often said that the pain I'm feeling is like being in labour 24 hours a day but without the reward of a new baby at then end. But maybe I've been wrong in thinking that. I may not be a baby but now I truly believe a new life will begin for me.
I have learned how important it is to have your health and to do anything possible to maintain it. I've also learned how much of an impact I have on the lives of those around me which susrprises me to no end. It's almost like I've been in a film where I thought my role was very small and insignificant only to find that I actually have a number of fans who are sitting at the edge of their seats, waiting to see what comes next for my character.