Last night, I went with one of my better friends, a short cuban, with him, his podiatrist uncle, and a couple of associates to see Buckethead play guitar. For those who don't know, Buckethead is a cyborg that was raised in a chicken coop, who plays guitar like he's the offspring of David Gilmour, Eddie Van Halen, Jimmy Paige, and Jesus. He is so named, for the chicken bucket he wears on his head, which he's never seen without.
Until last night.
My day was fairly uneventful, until I had to leave for Uncle Footjob's loft Downtown at around six p.m. Around four, I had left for the gym for a little workout. I hop in my Bugatti and get on I-35. I get up to around 1400m.p.h. when my cuban friend calls me up on my iPhone6.23x10^45th powerG smartphone, asking me if I can pick him up. I replied "SURE BRAH, but seeing as how I'm cruisin' around at transonic speeds, it's gonna be kind of hard to stop.", to which he replies, "no problem brubru, I'll be there in a second." He busts out the craziest octuple backflip I ever seen, and seamlessly lands in my passenger seat. I eventually deploy my wings, and we're in Helsinki, at my favorite gym in no time.
I levitate into the gym, because the floor is so afraid of my calf muscles it didn't want to touch my feet. I proceed to do an incline press with 4000 kilograms of weight on each side of the bar. Subsequently, I squat about 120 metric tons. I don't have to shower afterwards, because my body self-cleanses, and I sweat 600 dollar per fluid ounce cologne. I do a double frontflip into the Bugatti, and take off, hitting 1400m.p.h. again.
I get bored with going so slow, so I decided to enter faster-than-light slipspace. After exploring Andromeda a little bit, and discovering a couple habitable planets that support intelligent life, I come back to the USA. Seeing that it's six o'clock, I leave for the concert.
Putting it shortly: Buckethead is my guitar hero. Look him up on youtube for some videos. Keep reading for some pictures.
There were nunchaku. There was Thriller. There was carnival music. And there was awe, as I saw what I wanted to achieve with guitar.
I love you Buckethead. I really, really, really love you. I LURRRRV YOU.
The last picture, he is without his beautiful white Les Paul. This is because he was doing the robot to Thriller. Fuck. Yes.
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Kerry Lauerman
Joan Walsh
Salon.com
Comments
Andromeda? 600 per ounce sweat cologne? Where was I?
This looks great - will have to look him up.
Hadn't heard of Buckethead. You Palins need to put together some playlists for the uninformed. None of y'all seems capable of making a musical mistake.
(However, if I hear of you driving faster than the speed of light, I will call your Dad. And now this mr. Buckethead...mmm...let me check into this....xox)
Rated
Checked out Buckethead, and I am having some serious Wes Borland flashbacks. One could easily say it's the mask, but that could be said of slipknot too. No, I am getting that from the odd effects, sounds and distortions; the experimenting he seems to be doing in the clip walled buckethead shred that looks like it was filmed in his bedroom. I like it. Wes Borland kicks ass.
As for that back before you left trick, I need to learn that one.
Now I have to go look up some buckethead videos. Even us old guys dig rad guitar!
Keep up the great writing!
http://www.videocure.com/music-videos/b/76de98f6e6fbb9964dda47ecb6ca23ec.html
Rated and welcome!
Marcela
And to those saying I should sell my bodily fluids as a fragrance... I'm Troll Face, not Britney Spears.
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