I usually don't read film novelizations or even film spin-off novels. I suppose I am a bit of a snob. I don't have any problem watching film adaptations of novels I have or have not read , so I'm a snob with a double standard. However, just like the uptight guy from any 80's era teen sex romp, I found a way to get down with the tie-in novel recently.

You see, I caught Kong Fever. Kong Fever drives the inflicted to rush into stores as varied as Best Buy and Walgreen's looking for anything Kong related be it comics, toys or Carl Denham's Stool Softener ("Your Every Trip to the Bathroom Will Be a Journey through the mists of Skull Island!")

It was whilst stricken that I happened upon Matthew Costello's KING KONG :THE ISLAND OF THE SKULL. I know! You see instead of calling it SKULL ISLAND he calls it ISLAND OF THE SKULL so that what was once familiar is now so very strange. I was at the self-checkout lane, so I quickly snatched the delectable paperback and hid it beneath my pile of Orange Creamsicles and prepared myself for adventure. Or, you know, for words that describe adventure.

Did I find that adventure? Well, yes and no.

Costello's job with this novel was to give the film a bit of a backstory. I guess what we learn in the film isn't enough, so here we learn what was happening with Carl Denham, Ann Darrow, Captain Englehorn, Mr. Hayes, Herb, Denham's camera operator, and good old Jack Driscoll. Most of these characters have been a part of film lore since 1933, so I believe it would be hard to give them an interesting spin. Does Costello succeed? Will you read the next sentence?

The answer to both questions is, of course, mostly yes.

Costello manages to paint Darrow as a gutsy broad and foreshadows her bond with a doomed animal several times. In fact, so many times that it is somewhat groan inducing. More than once he describes a prohibition era thug as a gorilla and animalistic. However, it is actually her relationship with a diving horse in Atlantic City that is the heart of the story, and it manages to be touching without being too sappy. In fact, I think it makes a fine old-fashioned yarn with enough flavor for the tale to stand on its own.

Unfortunately, Denham's section is just a bit too much of the same. Crazy Carl is reckless. Crazy Carl is scamming somebody. Crazy Carl is going to the docks to find mysterious maps. You get the idea. It's much more of the same if you are at all familiar with the Denham character. The plus side of this story is that we get a bit more character depth out of Herb and Mr. Hayes. Jack Driscoll is interesting, but he is only there briefly. Ultimately, Denham's story, with his adventures with moneymen and seals, feels superflous.

That pretty much dispenses with the characters we know and the ones we will meet in Peter Jackson's film, but Costello has to provide the background for the map. Yes, that cursed map which has lead to deaths in three different incarnations of Kong. That map should have been put on Death Row a long time ago, but here it is. The map's story is actually the story of Sam, a Navy deep sea diver who leaves the Navy and seeks adventure. He ends up on a Portugese pearl diving ship thanks to his protege Tommy. They sail with a boat chock full of sterotypes and seek pearls in unknown waters. That sounds like a good plan, right? Well, for entertainment purposes, yes. For the crew? Not so much. This is where you get your creature feature fix from this novel. It takes a bit to get going, but, once it does, it's great fun. There are creatures on display here that don't appear in the film. Plus, some crowd favorites also appear. (Think bug pit.) This one ties the film together with the book in the best way, and it also seems to be where Costello feels comfortable. The writing is crisp here and moves along with little or no fat. I thoroughly enjoyed this section and I especially appreciated the appearance of one of the Brides of Kong. My one problem is that this one seemed to move too fast and was over almost before it began. Compared to the Denham story this was brilliant.

RIDDLE ME THIS (Cursed Paper Cuts)

Did Costello think that the Eugene O'Neill cameo made him the most clever fellow ever?

Is Johnny the speakeasy hood the most ineffectual and useless gangster ever?

Did the Jewish scientist with the artifact that isn't an artifact walk over from a deleted scene from RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK?

Was Herb one-legged in the movie?

Why would Luis and his fellow crewman walk into a dark cavern on an island that apparently supports many, many killing machines?

Is it ok to have a crush on one of the Brides of Kong?





Pick this one up for a quick, escapist read. It's not great art, but it is fun, and the writing is not wince-inducing.

This thing is printed on cheese, and that's just fine.