The years 2000-2002 are what I considier lost years. They were aimless and lacked any true purpose. In the year 2000, I often found myself wandering around Wal-Mart at two or three a.m and driving around with no particular destination in mind. I was in my mid-twenties, and the promise I felt my life held was dulled. I smoked clove cigarettes, wore only black t-shirts and jeans, and I would go days without talking to anyone.
At some point I began hanging out at a little music venue in the historic downtown area of Texarkana. I liked it because some of the bands were exactly like me aimless and a little angry or confused by it. The bands with names like The Nap, Fast to Nowhere, Wiseguy, and Some Guy Named Robb were my solace during this long dark tea-time of the soul.
I didn't drink, or carry on affairs. I just drove, read, smoked and listened to bands that no one really knew. This was my life . It was a grey time in my life, and the cycle continued and continued. I struck up nodding acquaintences with other people who felt this was, I think.
Month after month rolled around, nothing changed. I just kept doing the same old thing. Sometime during the summer of 200, The llittle venue that served coffee no one ever bought announced it was going to shut down. I was crushed, silently, of course.
Later that night, while a metal band covered in sludge perfromed, I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette. I began talking toDarin, a guy I had worked for a t a record store, and the conversation grew to include a shoe saleman named Clint.
" I hate to see this thing go." I said.
Clint suddenly seemd to become very interested.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"I have some money saved up. I'd love to try and run a venue."
He quickly began running thourgh plans he had for a venue. He told me that he had a PA lined up and that since he and another guy, Frank, booked the acts for the cafe that they had a clinet list ready to go.
I became excited for the first time in a long time. Clint , in his excitment, resembled an over-excited Capuchin. I wanted to believe that we could do this. I really did.
"C'mon," he said". let's go look at the building I have picked out."
There I was the overly cautious guy, jumping into his trash-filled sedan as we raced to look at a pipe dream, and I wasn't worried or confused. I was ready to see what was next.


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