R. Joseph Hoffmann

R. Joseph Hoffmann
Boston, Massachusetts, USA
December 16
R. Joseph Hoffmann is a Boston-based entity who prefers Deer Isle, Maine, where he piddles with restoring the oldest house on the island (1806), scrapes ice from inside windows, wishes for a new furnace. Profession-wise, he's taught at Oxford, Ann Arbor and parts of the Middle East and Africa. He was scholar in residence at Goddard College and lectures in liberal arts at the New England Conservatory. More of his stuff--rants and lessons--and links to still more can be found at the New Oxonian. Email: joseph.hoffmann@keble.oxon.org


DECEMBER 10, 2009 2:35PM

The Lieberman Nativity

Rate: 1 Flag



And the angel said unto Marcia (nee Manger, no kidding):

 "Hail, oh pregnant one who at three weeks doesn't suspect a thing: the Lord is with you. 

"We looked for someone named Miriam and a guy named Joseph, but Henry and you will have to do.  Anyway, you're Jews. That's what counts."

And Marcia was troubled in her heart and wondered what kind of greeting this might be and said unto the angel, 

"WTF: That door was locked.  Get out of my kitchen. I just mopped,"

But the angel said unto Marcia,

"Not so fast. It isn't about you. It's about God and country. But mainly it's about the kid. 

"You will conceive and bear a son.And his name will be called 'Joe', for short."

And Marcia said to the angel, 

"Pull the other one. First, Henry hasn't been to bed in eight months, even if I let him.  Second, I hate the name Joe and if ever do have another kid I promised my Aunt Doris I'd name him Hiram after her dead husband.  Boy or girl, s'gonna be Hiram."

But the angel was wroth with Marcia and spoke unto her,

"Listen.  This has been a long trip.  Stamford isn't exactly Paris and I have to wait until 6AM to catch the next beam up.  Pay attention:

"He will be called the son of God by every Republican;

"Wonderful- counselor, by every insurance lobbyist this side of New Haven;

"God-with-us, you know, the Emmanuel thing, every time he stands in front of a mirror...

"God help us, and God knows why every time he votes on the floor of the Senate.

"He will bring shame on his enemies--a regular lion, if you're into circuses, not so much the jungle kind..."


And Marcia said,

"Wait, let me wake up Henry from the sofa, he needs to hear this...."

But the angel spoke again: 

"Not so fast girl, I wasn't finished.  This is the story if anybody asks. 

"The Holy Spirit came upon you.  You translate that any way you want. What did you know?--you were cleaning.   Next thing you're pregnant, next thing, you've given birth to the saviour of the world. Surprise! Maybe not the world.  Maybe just a few morons in Congress.  Almost the same thing."

But Marcia puzzled in her heart and said, 

"What do I get out of this if I say 'yes' and become the handmaid of the Lord, highly blessed, Mother of Joe, or whatever?"

But the angel wondered and said:

"You mean you won't do it as part of God's plan?"

And obediently Marcia spoke unto the angel:

"God's plan and $1000."

And the angel raised his hand and set it upon her head and said unto Marcia.

"You drive a hard bargain, but I was authorized to go to $2500."

"And wise men," Marcia said.  "I get wise men, right?"












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For the photo alone...Rated!
it's too easy, laughing at politicians, and ethnic jokes are always suspicious. even if you are a jew yourself, there is the fear you are concocting some clever dig at goyim, which in lieberman's case is very likely.

instead of 'funny' could you try for 'scary?' politicians are scary, it should be easy.