So Oprah knows all kinds of shit for sure. You can read about it in her mag every month. She always knows something. Where does that leave the rest of us? Like me. I don’t know anything and there’s a whole lot that I don’t know for sure. Maybe some of you are in the same boat and you can relate. Let me explain:

I Don’t Know If I Will Have a Job

This is the FOURTH time I have settled myself into a nice situation and then BAM! The company I am working for gets scooped up by a larger company. Read more about this sad tale here. I have been in this industry for too long, I think. Perhaps it is time to move on.

I Don’t Know If I Should Stop Drinking Coffee

I love coffee but it doesn’t love me. It turns me into a raging Real Housewife of New Jersey, and that’s just not pretty. But sometimes I really need it. I can barely pull myself together to slog through laundry, dishes, cat barf, and the other intricacies that fill my day. It’s a love/hate relationship that has become dysfunctionally necessary.

I Don’t Know If My Mom Will Be Okay

The background here is too long and too filled with drama to go into but let’s just say that I have experienced what the sandwich generation is going through. I have two children AND a mother that I need to care for…and it sucks. Also, don’t ever allow your mother to live with you and your family. No matter how good you think your relationship is with her, don’t do it. EVER!

I Don’t Know If I Can Live Without my iPhone

My iPhone has become a periment appendage that I whip out every time I don’t want to interact with stupid people or deal with my kids when they whine at me. The other day both my husband and I sat down without our iPhones and we actually had to talk to each other. It. Was. Awkward. I mean, having a conversation takes energy and you have to THINK. I don’t have time to think. I barely have time to pee. My iPhone is set to alert me whenever I need a potty break. What would I do without it?!

I Don’t Know If I Can Make Money From My Writing

Some of you know I write Marketing crap for big software companies. That’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about writing stuff that make me (and hopefully my readers) laugh. If you’ve come here before, read what I wrote, and you laughed then I did my job. BUT…now I need to make money at it. Piece of cake, right? Well…

I Don’t Know If I Will Ever Be Able to Wear a Bikini Again

I used to rock the bikini. Really. But now it’s more likely that I will give people seizures if I were to ever put one on again. For those of you going through the aging process, you know what I mean. For those of you who are thirty years old and younger, get the f*ck out of here. Please.

I Don’t Know If You Will Read this Enire Blog Post

For those of you who blog, you live and die by reader comments. Right? Am I right? I AM right! If you don’t read this blog post and comment, then what’s the point? What’s this all about? Well, I don’t even know.

There’s a whole lot more crap that I don’t know but this is what’s in my head right now. Oprah, if you are reading this right now, there’s gotta be at least one thing you don’t know. Like if giving Rosie O’Donnell your old set and a big spot on your OWN channel was really a good idea.

What do you NOT know for sure? Share your thoughts because I might cry if you don’t.