Guess what? I am here to report on New York Fashion Week because I am one of the most fashionable people I know, in my sweat pants. I absolutely adore everything fashion since it represents what is completely insane about our society! Are you ready? Here we go!

Our first designer’s mother sat him in front of the TV when he was a young boy and made him watch 1,347 episodes of The Simpsons. You can see that it has had a major influence on his designs. Eat my shorts!

Here we have an adaptation of the freaky rubber suit from American Horror Story. In this design, you can breathe but if you go to Walmart we would not recommend breathing.

Oh my! We are so very lucky to have this next ensemble! No anesthesia required! You can easily sop up the blood from poking a stick through your nose with the sponge on your head! So practical! LOOOOVE IT!

Wowza! Here comes a dragon, dinosaur, ummm…Madonna? We’re not sure what it is but it is fab-u-lous! Can’t you imagine yourself at your cousin’s wedding in New Jersey wearing that? It’s so slimming! Please don’t touch, people!

Rainbow Brite meets My Little Pony! We’ve never seen Unicorns worn this way. Now I know what I’m wearing to my 30-year high school reunion next week!!

Who? What? OMG! Who let the dogs out? Someone please get that neck out of here before I plotz!!! Sorry folks, sometimes this event attracks weirdos. We’ll get it handled, not to worry.

Well, considering that we had a rabid neck running around, I would say that Fashion Week was a resounding success! Wouldn’t you? You wouldn’t? Then you have no style whatsoever. If you’d like to purchase any of these astonishing fashions, please go to www.fashionforidiots.com and have your credit cards handy. We don’t take cash. That’s so gosh!!