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john blumenthal

john blumenthal
Location
California,
Birthday
January 05
Title
john_blumenthal (On Twitter)
Bio
Curmudgeon. Formidable braggart. Comedy writer. Eight books, 2 movies. Former associate editor at Playboy Magazine. Movies include "Short Time," (major flop), and "Blue Streak" (huge hit, no idea why.) Last two novels were "What's Wrong With Dorfman?" (St. Martin's Press) and "Millard Fillmore, Mon Amour," (St. Martin's Press). New novel: "Three and a Half Virgins."

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 22, 2010 11:31AM

Scrooge Was Right about Christmas

Rate: 59 Flag

When Dickens’ A Christmas Carol was published in 1843, London was a virtual cesspool. The city's stench was overpowering because the science of sewage disposal involved dumping everything that stank in the Thames. There were rats everywhere and they were not spreading holiday cheer. If St. Nick gave the children anything for Christmas, it was probably cholera. 

 

  

 

 Children were forced to slave away in filthy workhouses. Food was crawling with maggots, which is only slightly less revolting than British cuisine is today. People threw feces out of their windows and then wondered why everybody was always sick.

  

Yet the Royal Family and the Peers of the Realm lived in obscene splendor.

 

  

So being a cynical curmudgeon was a sensible philosophy in Scrooge’s day. He was a realist, a man who understood the miserable, depraved nature of humanity. The affluent kids got ponies; the destitute got food poisoning. There was no reason for good cheer and clearly Jesus was AWOL. So yes, Christmas was indeed humbug.

 

It also made sense that Scrooge was a miser. Why? Because he was old. Eventually, he would likely fall victim to dementia and require expensive assisted living but, in those days, without money, one would be fated to spending one's golden years in a miserable rat-infested asylum.

 

 

But if anything symbolizes the pure inane folly of Christmas spirit in 1840s Britain it's the Cratchit family. 

     

Bob has a crippled son, barely enough food to feed a squirrel, a house so cold that everybody’s snot freezes, and a wife who should be hospitalized for inappropriate ebullience. Yet poor Bob suffers under the insane delusion that he's content.

 

   

"God bless us everyone?" Are you serious? Really? Do the plague-infested rats chewing at your ankles make it look like you're going to be blessed any time soon?

 

If Scrooge were alive now, he'd get a good chuckle. Sure, sewage systems are better, but the greedy are greedier and the poor are poorer. Every Christmas, we pretend that everything is just fine. The fat cats open their checkbooks to help the less fortunate. Do they do this out of the goodness of their hearts? No, they do it for the tax deduction. 
(Repost)
       
Photos courtesy of: seattletimes.nwsource.com, medievalarchives.com, buyweddingdress.info, jeffreyalanmiller.files.wordpress.com     

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You know what John.. I wrote about something similar today.
Everyone pretends everything is okay but it is not.
Sure give at Christmas etc and then ignore them for the rest of the year. I am out there everyday and I see what is going on.
I had two nasty emails telling me not to destroy their Christmas.. I am not..
I am speaking the damn truth and if people would open their eyes things might be a bit better. I get so angry.
SO WELL DONE..
rated with hugs
Wow, John. This is certainly a cynical view.
But, you make a valid point with "the greedy are greedier and the poor are poorer."
If I were to dispute this view at all it would be with a view that in this world there must be hope (and a better hope than that which politicians and clergy try to sell us on in order to keep us content with the slivers and crumbs that drift our way) and the holiday season is one that reminds us of the purity of love--the love of one another, of family, of those things which ought to be most important to us. I think less of the Christian version of Christmas and more of the notion of "peace on earth, goodwill towards men." I think of the love I have for my children and wife and the celebration of the blessings they bring--much like the Catchits.

Anyway, I rather enjoyed this post which is a departure for you and which puts a different context onto what is one of my least favorite parts of Christmas. I would far prefer to watch "Ralphie" than "Scrooge".
Agreed, Linda. Thank you for speaking the truth, John. There is so much hypocrisy, as if Christmas is the only time orphans need books and homeless need blankets. Maybe it's not just for the tax reduction, but it's certainly sad that this is the only time in the year people can be persuaded to open their hearts. Rated.
VR recently posted on DTMS about 'Doubting Thomas', Blu. I had to say, I was with Thomas. Much the same as I feel about your outlook here. One can not dispute the hypocrisy and motive for this annual celebration of love for our kith and kin, and the false display of caring about everyone else. If one cares, it is every day, not just a season. If one loves, it is always, and not for a day. At this point, my family gathers without wrapped gifts. We meet, talk, connect a little, and look forward to another year of getting older, poorer, and less able to 'maintain' as we would like to have been able to. Still and all, I look forward to seeing everyone and to airing the wishes we all wish were horses, or lottery winnings.

Seasons greetings to you John, and peace with prosperity in 201. I really mean that !!! and when I win something from a lottery, well, THAT will be a celebration worthy of Scrooge and the Cratchits. All of OS will be invited, you included (unless it's just a free ticket or something under a million $ after taxes).
Very erudite and perceptive.

A Marxist would say that Scrooge was a realist and Cratchet was suffering from Petit-Bourgeois "false consciousness," thinking that belief in the divine hereafter would rescue him from the sufering of the here and now.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_consciousness
You nailed it. Sometimes I think that Dickens is underrated.
Christmas enables those who ignore people's struggles the rest of the time. "Hey, I did my part. I gave a hundred bucks to the Children's Home and gave away a couple of my good coats." The rest of the year the Scrooge attitude of : "Are there no prisons?" is what they follow.
Spudman: that's very true. The 19th century German philosopher, Ludwig Feuerbach discussed this in his famous work, "The Essence of Christianity."

His basic argument is that man has taken his most noble qualities and put them in the person of a "god." By doing this, we objectify or "reify" God, and make him the embodiment of all that is good and ideal. By doing this, psychologically, we are able to live apart from these principles. In a sense, we create an inner-disconnect, where goodness and mercy and charity are reserved for God, not for man. Rather than the God-concept serving as a mirror image we must all aspire toward, the masses have reacted to this concept in a manner that encourages even greater selfishness and cruelty.

The seasonal emphasis on social justice during Christmas-time is a reflection of this. It is one of the reasons why Marxists and Jehova's Witnesses dislike this holiday's mass-psychological impacts.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Essence_of_Christianity
Well, tough to argue with your well made points here John. And none of it is funny. Especially the tax deduction part. That part is painfully true. Well deserved EP!
What an astute commentary.
When you think about it, very little has changed.
R
I am doing the best impression of Bob Cratchett that I can this year.
Willfully, for my Tiny Penny, because what else can we do?
Merry Christmas John, thanks for telling it like it is.
I was just revisiting "Bleak House", both in book and BBC form. Dickens was a master at depicting, in soapy fashion, social inequities and the absurdity of that particular class system. So apt of you to point out that, even without a monarchy, we live under a very similar system.
I'm so dissassociated from the season this year - except for enjoying some choral music. Not Scrooge - just numb.
and Dickens was just trying to earn some money and didn't believe the crap he was writing (so I've been told)
Your Excellency, this was very good (as usual). ~r
How very astute of you to recognize that our whole society is organized along lines that we refuse to acknowledge or even recognize. Decisions are made that have no basis in the reality of a very large segment of our population.

Holidays such as this simply enshrine our biases and lack of understanding. Charity that is tax deductible is no charity. A world view that keeps me OK and says "chuck you Farley" is a lousy foundation for ever attaining a decent society - let alone a great one.



^R^++++
A little different speed for you John, but I like it!
Nice curmudgeonly rant. We can make fairy tales out of anything, can't we?
Yes. Especially the tax deduction.
Damn straight. Compassion doesn't drive the wealthy to give. It is strictly for bragging rights and taxes. Scrooge as a realist?I'm not so sure, he was pretty accurate in the ghost of Christmas yet to comes vision, they never mentioned the cause of death though did they? Likely that was only a year or so hence since as you noted living in London was a bit like swimming in a cesspool. I can't imagine British cooking anything as lively as a maggot either. Beside the point I suppose, still, enjoy the madness while you can.
Bah humbug!
(Couldn't resist...)
One other thing the Cratchits had that the modern wage slave doesn't by and large: one parent at home. Now two parents slave away to get that turkey on the table...
The political parties reflect this state of affairs. Republicans represent the rich who want to preserve rules that allow them to exploit the poor and to keep their wealth. Democrats represent the poor and people who think that business and society in general is better without extreme differences in wealth. The discussion is always obfuscated by noble-sounding ideological mantras. Republicans have an advantage because they can use much greater wealth and business power to promote their points of view.
this may be an OS record -- the first time someone got an EP and cover for a repost!! there is a god -- or a dog -- after all!

can't disagree with any of it, especially the tax deduction part. but i have to say: if charitable giving weren't deductible, just think how little of it there would be. merry something, scroogie blu. xo
"but, in those days, without money, one would be fated to spending one's golden years in a miserable rat-infested asylum. "

Those were the good ole days my friend, we'd thought they'd never end, but they did.

Merry Happy Holidays, may the Christmas fairy bring you loads of stuff that doesn't involve rashes.

:D
See, there you go, John. Writing something not just witty, but profound, giving the lie -- yet again -- to what you wrote the other day. Or were just in a humbug mood then....

Anyway, congrats on a well-deserved EP. I know it's a repost, but I hope you put it up every year.
Points taken. But imagine the Crachit's without that love -- misery tenfold. Still, A Christmas Carol makes for a helluva movie! We watch it every Christmas eve and get all warm & fuzzy.
Tink doesn't pay taxes, but then he doesn't open his checkbook anyway.
I think we have plenty of Scrooges these days, they are called Congressional Republicans.
I thank you for reposting this as I had not previously read it. It certainly cracks the illusion of the 19th century as a "simpler time," as my husband likes to say.
If I had a pony I'd have to have it for Christmas dinner. It looks like my lump of coal wish is also not going to happen. I suppose I could hope for some coal dust. Then I could snort it, pray for black lunge disease and check -out of this miserable existence. Humbug. Fuck it.
Seriously, this is a great piece of writing. Cracked me up as usual, but also had a great point.
But if you spend all your time focused on the plague / sewage / rats / poverty / greed / hypocrisy / misery /injustice inspired anger, pretty soon you're buried by depression and can't climb out of your own sewage. Trust me, I know about this and not just because I've read a lot of Dickens. So sometimes at least, you have to focus on what's good in your life, on the sweetness and courage of your son despite his short and brutal life, and so on to all those you love and live for. And you can cling to belief in a god you believe cares about justice because, if nothing else, he'll get the misery makers in the end. And so you can survive.

It's what I tell myself, anyway.

And I think Dickens was an honest reformer at heart and nothing's really all that black & white.
Not exactly holiday cheer, but somebody had to state the obvious.

Rated.
Counting my blessings every day...Self defense.
You make "do it for the tax deduction" sound like it's a bad thing, John.
Yeah, living in Dickensian times would have been the real pits! I never thought of it this way. You are so funny.

Lezlie
yes, you are absolutely right
and yet...and yet...internal misery will not make external misery any better
Ahhhh, a dose of reality to chill my Christmas spirit. Rated (again) because I love a Scrooge (and the word curmudgeon).
"Eventually, he would likely fall victim to dementia and require expensive assisted living but, in those days, without money, one would be fated to spending one's golden years in a miserable rat-infested asylum." Modern day estate planning for many, I'm at the top of the list. Great post, thanks.
God bless you for cutting through the cant blu.
Bah, Humbug. We are a flawed species.
This is just what I needed to get me into the Christmas spirit, and the Christmas spirits.
Very good post. You're view of the world, past or present, is always interesting, funny, and insightful.
Well, this certainly explains why I didn't get anything from you for Christmas. Just like your repost. Two years in a row. If you haven't already, you may want to invest in some flood pants with those rains in California. Consider this your gift from me. Mwah.
My thoughts exactly. History repeating itself in a different way. Great post John. o/e R*****
John, I drew your name this year..uh..should I send the gift back?






Heh! heh! just kidding. Historically, it was a cesspool and Dickens softens it quite a bit. Child abuse was even more rampant than anything depicting it in novels. good piece
You make a lot of good points here. Scrooge really did have the right approach. Well-written, insightful post.
The greedy may be greedier, but the poor aren't poorer. Poor people today have a standard of living that is much, much higher than in 1842. So things are actually getting better.
This is so hilarious...rats chewing on my ankles...I don't think so...I have a ms Bojangles to watch out for those critters.Did you see Jim Carry as Scrooge? I wonder how that was....Seasons greetings and more....
I'm still waiting for my pony.
At least Scrooge later saw the errors of his ways.
John, you continue to amaze; a man who so often makes me laugh helplessly also can make me think; I'm a bit of a Christmas curmudgeon myself, but not in quite so well-spoken a way.
Although it rather bothers me that I apparently wasn't the first Santa to wander the poorer neighborhoods with a bag o' cholera, which, as I think of it, would be a bitchin' name for a punk band.
Chris: Although the term "English cuisine" is an oxymoron and their dental care is still medieval and central heating was invented last week, I love England. Some of my best friends are Brits and I never fault them for it.
No Virginia, there is no fucking Santa Claus.
you only live once, and if faced with mortality this very day, I think you would feel differently about living. There are so few times to celebrate, you don't like Christmas celebrate something, please. Don't rain on others who want try to enjoy life one damn day of the year. This happens to be the one day a lot of people have off from work.
smile emoticon,Blu just because I know you love them...
rita: aren't we faced with mortality every day?
BTW-The cartoon was not expressive of my opinions.
I just thought it was comical as 'toons are wont and supposed to be.
No matter how many books I've read about that time, I still can't imagine what it was like to have feces flying through the air! It's nice to read a dark piece about the holiday. Too much holly jolly gets me a bit crazy.
Before I read this, I was writing a curmudgeonly Christmas post of my own. I am ironically cheered to share in Scrooge spirit with you.
Merry Christmas, John! One of Scrooge's resolutions is to keep Christmas in his heart all year round. The ghosts remind him, as Marley said, "Mankind was my business!" that greed is not excused any day of the year. Of course this year, Oprah found out about Dickens. Who told her????
:D very funny & unfortunately true
but ponies aren't everything- not by a long shot. I can remember my favorite gifts were always the dollar store stuff my mom put in my stocking. She got the most creative and playful with those.
Merry Christmas/Season's Greetings to ya Scrooge!
I liked the explanation of why Scrooge was a miser. I really wonder if Dickens' audience, particularly his London audience, included Scrooge defenders on those grounds.