Day One: Chief Justice Roberts administers the oath of office. President Palin repeats the words “So help me God,” fifty-five times and won’t let go of the Bible. The benediction lasts six hours.

In her inaugural speech, she proclaims that, "Democratic countries of the world must stand together to defeat Communism and win the Cold War."

Tweet: Prety sur Justc. Rbts. commando undr robe @ inaug. Ooooh. 

Day Two: President Palin orders the Bureau of Printing and Engraving to remove Ulysses S. Grant’s face from the fifty dollar bill and replace it with the image of Ronald Reagan because Grant “has a foreign-sounding first name and who was he anyway?” She considers changing the $10 bill and the $100 bill, but Vice-President Michele Bachmann advises her to refrain because Benjamin Franklin and Alexander Hamilton were “two of our greatest presidents.”

Tweet: Said "gee Todd'" today & scret srvice thot I said "jihad." Oops!

Day Three: Palin orders her new Secretary of God to place a thirty foot statue of Jesus holding a shotgun on the front lawn of the White House. Work begins on construction of a shooting range in the Rose Garden, and the West Wing is eliminated, because it’s on the left side of the building. 

Tweet: Y is Kim Jong ill? Flu? Anybdy no?

Day Four: President Palin appoints ex-Gov. Scott Walker as Secretary of Labor, Bernie Madoff as Secretary of the Treasury (following an executive pardon), and Christine O’Donnell as Secretary of State (which will now be known as Secretary of Geography.)

O’Donnell’s first official task is to buy a globe so she can figure out “where countries are.” Palin helps her with this project, but is unable to find the United States on a map of the United States.

Day Five: Palin is informed by her National Security advisor – Joe the Plumber -- that there are more than three cabinet departments. Palin decides to eliminate the Department of Education, the Energy Department and the EPA. She merges the Nuclear Regulatory Agency and the National Rifle Association because "they have the same initials so we'll save on stationary."

Palin's choice for Secretary of the Interior is a woman named Betty who “really knows a lotta stuff about drapes and can decorate a room to make it look homey.” Betty's first assignment is to redesign the Oval Office into a replica of a cozy ski lodge. She replaces George Washington's portrait with a moosehead, because "if you ask me, the guy looks depressed."

Day Six: Palin decides to leave the rest of her cabinet appointments to her husband Todd because she’s too busy trying to locate the fifth commandment in the Constitution. Todd begrudgingly takes time off from shooting random animals with an Uzi and merges the remaining cabinet departments into one cabinet department called The Department of Everything Else.

Secretary of State O’Donnell cancels a trip to Germany because she misplaces her broom and refuses to use a mop. “That’s okay,” she tells the press. “I don’t really like to travel anyway and Asia is so far away.”

Tweet: J. Mcain wnts job in cbnet. Yeh rite! Duchbg.

Day Seven: Palin meets with the Prime Minister of India and, in his honor, wears a Cherokee headdress and tries to engage him in a conversation about Geronimo.

Later that day, Palin invites the President of Antarctica to lunch, but no one replies. Outraged, Palin breaks off diplomatic relations with Antarctica and instructs the Secretary of Writing Coherent English to “send the president of Antarctica a nasty letter.”

Tweet: Cant wait 4 halween. wil make cbnt wear cstumes. LOL

Day Eight: After a lunch of moose liver pate and reindeer a l'orange, Palin signs two bills, passed by Congress. One of them mandates the placement of a nuclear power plant on Mt. St. Helens; the other orders that chicken a la king be taken off the Congressional Dining Room menu because, as Eric Cantor puts it, “we live in a democracy, plus it'll reduce the deficit.”

In the evening, President Palin listens to an audio version of a report by her newly appointed “Secret Commission on Stuff a President Should Know,” and is surprised to learn that there are three branches of government. "What the heck does POTUS mean?" she asks the head of the commission. "Is it Latin for marijuana or something?"

Tweet: Crisis smwhre. Borng day. Zzzz.

Day Nine: Palin meets with pro-life activists and tells them that, in her opinion, life begins in the scrotum (except for Obama whose life began in Kenya) and that vasectomologies should be a federal crime.

At 11:00 o'clock, Palin fires the Joint Chiefs of Staff because, as press secretary Glenn Beck tells the press, she “doesn’t want any pot-smoking Indians in the White House, you betcha.”

Later that day, she cancels a press conference because, as Beck tells reporters, “she’s having a bad hair day,” plus “they ask a lot of questions and, golly gee, I can’t fit all those answers on my hands.”

Tweet: Joe has plumbrs crck. Idea 4 perfum. Eau de Joe. LOL

Day Ten: Palin resigns as President because, as she declares, “it takes up too much time, it’s not as much fun as I thought it would be, the rooms smell musty and it doesn’t pay as well as reality shows.” Vice-President Bachmann is sworn in, and tells the country to join her in a prayer asking that God grant Palin the trophy on “Dancing with the Stars.”

Palin spends the next three years writing her Presidential memoirs.      

Tweet: Only 1 regrt. Wish Id sent Tna Fey to Gitmo. 

Photos courtesy of thehollywoodgossip.com, dailymail.co.uk, blog.library.villanova.edu, britishblogs.co.uk, geronimotrail.com, thisislondon.co.uk, news.com.au