Excerpts from Sarah Palin’s American History Textbook
We've seen Sarah Palin's History Channel, courtesy of Conan O'Brien. This is her next step:
Chapter One: In 1824, George Washington wrote the six articles of the Declaration of Independence which was ratified by 17 of the original 13 American colonies right after our brave soldiers won the Civil War, which was fought because King Henry the Eighth tried to force us to have representation without taxation.
Chapter Two: Fifteen years later, in 1864, we won the War of 1812 when General Jackson Andrews defeated the invaders in Montana. We fought the war because Poland bombed Pearl Harbor after Abraham Lincoln was shot by Lee Harvey Oswald in Israel.
Chapter Three: Did you know there was a president named Chester A. Arthur? Neither did I, but he’s famous for saying “The only thing we have to fear is fire itself.”
Chapter Four: In 1928, Ronald Reagan defeated Grover Cleveland to become the fourth president of the United States. Ronald Reagan got the Russians to take down the Great Wall of China and lowered taxes which made every American rich because of how wealth trickles up to the poor. Reagan is our most famous president, and there’s a statue of him in the Smithsonian Institute, which is one of the greatest hospitals in the world.
Chapter Five: In 1816, when Franklin D. Roosevelt died in a skiing accident in Saudi Arabia, Millard Fillmore succeeded him and sent our troops to Peru to fight in World War One, which took place fourteen years after World War Two. Peru surrendered to General Robert E. Lee after we dropped the atomic bomb on France.
Chapter Six: In 1898, Canada seceded from the Union, so the US invaded Mexico. This war was called the Korean War and it took place in Austria. Our troops made a gallant stand at the Alamo, which had just started renting cars at this time. Richard Nixon ended the war by negotiating with King Kong in North Vietnam. Nixon was defeated by Bill Clinton who was impeached for having a love affair with Mamie Eisenhower, who had been married to Calvin Coolidge for 40 years.
Summary: America has been the greatest country in the world since Christopher Columbus discovered it in 1977, and our past will be as bright as our future was. That’s why it’s important to learn about things like history and because, as our fifth president, Harding G. Warren said, “We are a government for the people, of the people, by the people, in spite of the people, without the people, inside the people, through the people and against the people.”
Pictures courtesy of: blog.prosperyourmind.com, provine.blogspot.com, triblocal.com
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Steven J. Gulitti
Rachel Velamur
Jan Sand
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David McClain
Salon.com
Comments
Now, I admit, one doesnt need to be a Professor or an academic to lead, or even be an intellectual. But I do think that intelligence matters if one wishes to be a great businessman, general, Senator, President, etc....
You can't be a moron. But we seem to be saying, as a culture, that its ok to be stupid. Its like a form of compensatory socialism. We can't have true socio-economic, legal or political equality, so instead, we'll just reduce all of society to an equal, even playing field of absolute idiocy.
r
I love this version of history. Do you think Harry Turtledove is an advisor to Palin?
I have long been an advocate of having more women participate in government leadership positions. I never thought I would have to qualify that in anyway. My opinion was that if a woman could participate she would bring her best practices with her. Well, I need to change that, only qualified, educated women need apply, and oh, you need to have some decorum, truth and humility sprinkled on that and better put some integrity in there or your bread ain't gonna rise honey. Someone should put her where she belongs. Dang if I knew where that is. It isn't the white house and not in any government position that affects me. That would really make me crazy mad and I just might have to run against her.
♥R
rated with hugs
Seeds grow in fertile soil. The increasing ignorance of the American public is the fertile soils in which these Palinesque bozos prosper.
Lezlie
I know, STRANGE BUT TRUE!! :D
Rw005g absolutely nailed it:
In America, stupidity is "a form of compensatory socialism. We can't have true socio-economic, legal or political equality, so instead, we'll just reduce all of society to an equal, even playing field of absolute idiocy."
Rated.
Maybe a tad too much realism..
Rated for such is life today.
-R-
R
But I spewed iced coffee on my computer monitor...
she was raised by wolfish men and had to become a she wolf.
lots of wimmin face that awful fate, but do not go on national tv
to make a fool of themselfs.
first thought re. palin back in o8, my god, a f-able gal for
vp. then she opened her mouth. and never stopped.
too bad about that daughter of hers. she was once a nice girl,
in the womb maybe.
maybe not. maybe twas all predictable.
Do you feel good about having written and posted this. Alright, it was mildly witty and did elicit a few smiles on my part. And I certainly agree with you that Ms. Palin's grasp of American is ... shall we say wanting?
But she's not that appallingly ignorant. One problem that American progressives create for themselves is that we tend to make our adversaries even stupider, greedier or sleazier than they really are, then we sit back and feel so superior while the adversaries slip out under our contempt and gain more support, more dollars, more power.
Let's come up with good reasons why Sister Sarah is totally unqualified to hold any high office in any serious nation and bring these facts to our compatriots. And while we're doing that, let's point out why just about every other Republican presidential candidate who had lifted his/her head this year is also unqualified to sit in the Oval Office.
There's a place for humor, I love the medicine, but the sharper it is, the more likely it is to puncture the inflated reputations of many of our would-be leaders. (God help us.)