Blogging a Dead Horse

john blumenthal

john blumenthal
Location
California,
Birthday
January 05
Title
john_blumenthal (On Twitter)
Bio
Curmudgeon. Formidable braggart. Comedy writer. Eight books, 2 movies. Former associate editor at Playboy Magazine. Movies include "Short Time," (major flop), and "Blue Streak" (huge hit, no idea why.) Last two novels were "What's Wrong With Dorfman?" (St. Martin's Press) and "Millard Fillmore, Mon Amour," (St. Martin's Press). New novel: "Three and a Half Virgins."

JANUARY 26, 2012 11:19AM

A Diatribe Against Self-Promotion

Rate: 62 Flag

Hucksterism has gotten way out of hand in America. It’s downright sickening. Take Herman Cain. Please. This is a guy who ran for President to promote a book!

 

Or take Donald Trump. Please. His campaign was a promotion for his pathetic TV series. Nobody except Lawrence O’Donnell seems to realize that Donald Trump is broke. The last thing he wanted was to be President – it doesn’t pay enough.

 

Picture Abe Lincoln in a log cabin hawking Shamwows. Or George Washington on the banks of the Potomac demonstrating a Popeil Pocket Fisherman.

 

Of course, self-promotion has a long history in America. We’re a nation of salesmen. Yesterday’s P.T. Barnum is today’s spammer. Has everyone become a carnival barker in this country?

 

The Internet has only made things worse. Between Facebook, Twitter and the millions of blogs, ezines and websites, it seems like everybody is selling something.

 

“Share” me, “Like” me, “Tweet” me. “Nauseate” me.

 

What really rankles me is when bloggers promote their books in a not-very-clever way by sneakily sticking in a few mentions of their new title in posts like “How to Get an Agent,” or “What Publishers Are Looking For.”

 

Or slyly mentioning the new CD their band just cut. Or their new series of photographs of ceramic lawn ornaments which sell for $250. Or whatever.

 

If you're selling something and you're doing it under the radar, it's spam.

 

Personally, I find this sort of subterfuge revolting. Come on guys, you’re not fooling anybody.

 

Really.

 

You're not.

 

How can you be so shameless?

 

So sneaky?

 

Why don't you just be up front about it?

 

Kind of like this...

 

 

 

 

 

 

www.threeandahalfvirgins.net 

  

Not that I’m promoting it. I just think the cover is pretty. I mean, who doesn’t like cherries?

 

 

 

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As we used to say in high school about '57 Chevies, "That is sooo cherry."
I knew this was coming, despite my face getting redder and redder (like those cherries) as I read along. I started thinking of some smartass defense of my own huckstering and then I thought, hey, waitaminute, this is Blu, I'll bet I could find some of his huckstering right here on his blog (I'm looking at the list right now in the left column) and then I thought, wait, this is Blu, he ain't done with this pitch yet, and then... Nice.
It's the pits trying to get noticed.
I cherryish the fact that you shared this with us. Good_luck!
♥.-:¦:- YOU ARE ☼
★──╔═╗╔═╗╔═╗╔═╗╦╔═╗╦
★──╚═╗╠═╝╠╣­─║──║╠═╣║
★──╚═╝╩──╚═╝╚═╝╩╝─╚╩═╝ ⊱♥
Wishing You a Successful time with this⊱☼
♥ ℒℴѵℯ ⊱♥❤ •*¨`*•.¸,❤•*¨`*•.¸•❤2❤•­*¨`*•.­­¸☆ Peace always, Algis
At least you didn't do as do some of the shameless hucksters here and make your cover into a to your sales site.
Oops, what I meant was at least you didn't do as do some of the shameless hucksters here and make your cover into a hyperlink to your sales site.
John, I guess the CSI Los Angeles investigators will be knocking on your door this afternoon to ask what you did with the other half of virgin #4 (did I get the math right on that?)!
Dammit, that didn't work either. One last time: At least you didn't do as do some of the shameless hucksters here and make your cover into a hyperlink to your sales site.
One has to sell their soul these days to make a buck and your cover sells it thank you very much. Your pitch is perfect but I have not heard you sing.
Ahh , I see Matt doing his shameless pitch below. I give both you guys gold stars. When mine comes out in a few months I promise not to overkill it here.. nope I will do my promotion on other places.. But others have offered and I have no damn shame. It's not like I have to live with you people..:)
HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
What the hell has gotten into Algis lately?

Love the cover, if you can figure out something worth reading to put inside it, I'll bite. I love 'em, like you said -- who doesn't like cherries?
I was just reading along wondering how you got all the ratings. Then... boom! Well played and well deserved.
As they used to ask on To Tell the Truth--Who is . . . Rosemary Cartwheel?

My publishing company is Perma Press. So far, nobody's outed me in either the book world or the dry cleaning industry.
I've been waiting for over 25 years for MAO ZEDONG to wake, to do TV spots for The Chicken Shack.
Of course, the first time I made that comment I was deported.

r.
Shameless hucksterism... Oy`

Must say though, as a connoisseur of titles, yours is good. Connotes something sexual which always grabs attention, and immediately I want to read to figure out your twisted take on "half virgins."
The cover is a grabber too. PM me for address on where to send my FREE promotional copy... yeah, I'll write you a review in exchange... if it doesn't suck
i think your criticism is more on the mark for trump, than for cain. trump is smart enough to know he could never be president, and everything he's done has been self promotion.

in contrast, herman cain actually believed that - having never been elected even to dogcatcher or the local school board - he could be elected president. and he also believed that no one would find out about his serial sexual harassment. not smart - but not hucksterism either.

many candidates have considered - or actually made - a run for president, without holding office before. lee iacocca, ralph nader, howard cosell, colin powell. all these aspirants shared one thing in common - media attention fed their self inlated perception of their fitness for office and popularity with americans.

upon joining facebook a couple of years ago i instantly discovered that this is all about advertising. if you "like" a company (subway's $5 footlongs) it will send you an update every day of zero importance. friend's comments and updates come with an attached advertisement, unless they dig into the arcania of features to turn this off. every major corporation now has a facebook page, which they watch obsessively, to see who is dissing their products and services.

there's nothing wrong with advertising - it just doesn't need to be in every facet and channel of our daily lives. i seldom use facebook anymore. i don't believe for a moment that any celebrity writes her or his own "tweets". i haven't "clicked through" an online banner ad in i don't know when.

good post - thank you - rated
BTW-Just been asked to write for this entertainment website.

http://crabbygolightly.com/mt/

So John.. any dirt you do in tinseltown please email me and I will give ahhh frontal exposure hahaha
shameless. better than aimless, sez me. nice move, blu. good luck with the virgins. xo :)
You are one funny dude!
A Half virgin? Now there's a concept.
Damn you JB! Stop kidding around AND TELL US ABOUT YOUR BOOK! And where we can get it, and how you got published and everything else. Pronto! Give us your spam, we'll eat it on a sandwich.
it is a lovely cover...
I'd like to promote my new CD with the Cherrie-Poppin' Daddies. Okay, I never recorded with Vince Gill and the guys, but a fella can dream can't he?
I've always adhered to the principle of being up front about it. I also have always believed this:

If you don't blow your own horn, people will just blow you off. After all, if you can't sell your self, then why expect a marketer, a focus group, a couple of agents and an advertising agency to want to do it?

Loved the ideal and the tongue-in-cheekiness -- and it is a nicely designed cover. Love the photographic symbolism.

--r--
This makes me want to write a diatribe against posts that are diatribes. Paraphrasing tinky...Wait. What? I was reading along and going "Yeah!!! Hell Yeah!! Tell 'em John!!!" Suckered in. I look forward to reading the book. Matt's too. And whatever Linda's promoting. Can't have too much advertising can we?

I should have stopped at this line "Take Herman Cain. Please."

Good luck with the book. Hope it sells.
Oh, and didn't Madonna already do that half-virgin thingie?
is it funny? or is it gory? maybe sexy? i doubt political.
Wait, you didn't ask us to "like" it on Facebook? What's wrong with you?

That is a great cover, though.
I must be off my game. I was starting to wonder who peed in your Cheerios this morning.

Lezlie
George Washington was too busy hawking "Mother Washington's Frozen Homemade Cherry Pies," -- "I can not tell a lie. Mother's is the best."
I would buy just the cover ...you may hawk til the cows come home. (Around there it could be awhile.)
The Diatribe are an indigenous people native to the southern tip of the Bronx.
Funny man. Is the book funny too?
Shes my cherry pie,
Cool drink of water,
such a sweet surprise.
Tastes so good,
make a grown man cry
Sweet cherry pie...
@Cranky: I've set up a fan page on FB. I'll be asking soon.
@ Steven: A spam sandwich? With cheese? OK. It's available on Amazon as a Kindle and a paperback. Also Barnes & Noble as a Nook and paperback. Also Burger King as a hamburger patty. I'll be sending around a FB fan page invitation soon which will have plot details. Thanks for your interest!
Thanks for making me laugh today!
I came back to see if you put an update on how to order the book. GET ON IT, BLU!!!
I went looking for myself: here it is...
http://www.amazon.com/Three-Half-Virgins-John-Blumenthal/dp/0967944414/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1327618098&sr=1-3
Nice cover! That was surely created by a seasoned design professional. You may catch some heck if Ms. O'Really sees that. Unless she did it? Congratulations!
I knew what was coming half way through. We're awash in it, might as well swim with it rather than against it.

David, a half virgin is one that only gives hand jobs. Or maybe that's a three quarters virgin and the one who only gives blow jobs is the half. In either event, do they still get to wear white at the wedding? Maybe some shade of beige.
We are a nation of salesmen indeed. Lovely cover. R
I had a a dream about that cover and drew it on a napkin......wha? how did you find out about it?.....you must have seen "Napkin Drawings by GJ, $49.95 +shipping, no ups and no extras!"
You are so right. Everybody is selling something. If you are, best to promote it up front. And money is not everything.
compared to the others, I like you subtlety
Only 3.5? I thought it was supposed to be 72....
I hope it's not about working in a mall.
Sold! I mean, I'm on your side against shameless self-promotion. Now if you were just a smidge shame-faced about this...
Fabulous, love the cover too! Wish I could rate it again.
@Leepin Larry: Ha! Took me a second or two to get that. You devil.
Door County, more than a thumb...
Is this autobiographical?
I like cherries..

Rated for self-promotion.
"Jimmy Hendricks I like it already. ☺
A tasteful cover; congratulations, Blu.
R♥
Hasn't anybody warned you that you can go blind from all that self-promotion, blu?
This morning the ad on top of comments was for actual cherries, with a photo of a bowlful ~ it made the whole page look so nice ~ now it's an ad for diamond engagement rings ... ?
Anyway that's still a fine looking cover.
Bon Voyage, Three and a Half Virgins. Congratulations John.
@O'Really?: You should know better than I.
This is why I sold you to the Germans!! They'll be by to pick you up at 8!! :D

RATED!!!

BUY MY CD, TINK RAVES ---available at Amazon!! :D
In Vegas that's "Almost a Jackpot"! Or is it your Bucket List?
Best of Luck with it John! R
did you really sell the book? is it in stores? why didnt you put a link to it? =)
Ok I was a little scared at first. I'll admit it.

My current post IS the introduction to the manuscript I'm trying to peddle to a publisher. Yes, a cheap attempt at self promotion.

Next thought: Uh oh. Where did John go? Did he really write this?

Then . . .whew. He's back! Cool!

Am on my way to amazon whistling to Millard Fillmore he's got company!
My website will tell all: www.threeandahalfvirgins.net
Now I MUST know what this book is all about! But where can I get my hands on such a pearl?
Nicely played. If I can get a Shamwow with my copy, I'm in. Congratulations on writing a novel--it's no joke.
threeandahalfvirgins.net is my next stop after the Demerol wears off. Need my wits about me to handle you, Blu.
It's absolutely shameless of you, John, to take credit for both the cover idea and the ghost writing that I did for you. On the other hand, it's was great sitting by your pool with the starlets (and the pool boy) and thanks for the free ferris wheel rides on the pier. Could you please send my toothbrush and my pocket comb? They're in the guest bathroom I think.
John, you are still crazy after all this time. Gotta have that book...I know it's hilarious.
Smooth, John...smooth.