In 1974, I worked for Esquire magazine as a fact-checker, hardly the most scintillating job in the known universe, but a foot in the door. I had naively expected that my college degree would land me a reasonable salary, but the Esquire job paid $65 a week which, even in… Read full post »

Why is Alexander Hamilton on a $10 bill, while all Thomas Jefferson gets is a lousy $2 bill? Nobody ever sees $2 bills (at least I don’t), but I see $10 bills all the time. What's with that?

Sure, Jefferson gets a nickel too, but a nickel is five lousy cents. /… Read full post »

Some years ago, I made the mistake of accompanying my wife and two teenage daughters on a shopping trip to Macy’s. I have no idea why they wanted me to come, knowing that the only thing I hate more than shopping is having to watch an episode of “Sex and the… Read full post »

"Sanctity of marriage" is a meaningless phrase concocted by bigots and religious fanatics who are terrified that gay marriage will lead to moral decay, since it says so in the Bible, which it doesn’t. Men, they  say, are supposed to marry women. Period. It’s God’s will.

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The expression “thinking outside the box” originated as a corporate phrase, meant to prod dull-witted executives into being more creative. So why can’t corporate executives just say what they used to say to their sycophantic underlings, “Get off your fucking lazy ass and be mo… Read full post »

Megabytephobia: The fear that your user-friendly computer is becoming user-annoying.

Gigabytephobia: the fear that your user-friendly computer is becoming user-argumentative.

OctoBlagojaphobia: The fear that some boring, self-important nitwit will dominate the ne… Read full post »

Eva Braun 

Tuesday, September 5: This morning I think I finally met Mr. Right. I was cleaning the meat rack when he entered the shop and asked me if we had anything in a knockwurst. I lead him to the sausage section and I could feel his eyes on… Read full post »

As a novelist, I’ve been through the publishing mill more than a few times, and it’s not my favorite mill. Neither is the Hollywood mill, but today’s blog is about publishing. We can get into movies another time.

If you’re an aspiring novelist, some of the followi… Read full post »

Remember me? Joe Stalin? If you recall, I was maybe the most brutal dictator ever. So why are you Americans so obsessed with Hitler? What’s so great about Hitler? I was a lot worse than Hitler, but nobody even mentions my name anymore. What am I, chopped liver? 

Ho… Read full post »

Having once been a teenage boy, I know that teenage males have sex on their minds for at least 15 hours and 59.99 minutes out of the average 16 hour day. So, the very notion that some hormonally-overdosed boy will try place his paws on even one sacred inch of my… Read full post »

A slew of new tech stocks will hit the market this year and portfolio managers are eager to get in on the action. As usual, the most attractive stocks are a few IPO’s. Some of the following new dot com stocks are expected to outsell blue chips and drive the markets up:

 … Read full post »

           Right-wingers have militias, so why can’t we? After all, the Second Amendment is for all of us, not just for them. Granted, we Lefties don’t own guns because we tend to shoot ourselves in the feet (at least our elected re… Read full post »

             As every American knows, this year marked the 137th anniversary of Calvin Coolidge’s birth. The entire nation celebrated this with fireworks, as we always do, because Coolidge was born on July 4th.

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            I first became aware of it while trying on some jeans at Macy’s,… Read full post »

           Have you ever been troubled by doubts about your dog’s sincerity? No? Most of us blithely take our pet’s love for granted. But if you’re at all like me –- neurotic and paranoid -- you may sometimes suspect tha… Read full post »