It's funny how one post can generate an almost seemingly unrelated post elsewhere on Open Salon. Earlier today, I tumbled onto Jordan Mazza's excellent critique of online communities and their potential for creating stalking behavior. In fact, the kind of stalking Jordan was talking about includes relatively benign varieties. Read the initial posting, Generation Creep: Everybody's Stalking About It, if you like, before continuing.

----------------------------------

Welcome back. Told ya so. Pretty good stuff.

I have enough of the devil in me to know that, if I needed it, I could probably use Internet tools to intrude on someone else's life. I know someone who uses the Internet as a primary source of intelligence about potential foes.

For whatever reason, my adult daughter prefers not to have a personal relationship with me. Apparently, though, she does not mind if I am her "friend" on Facebook, and through that Internet community's rather impersonal and informal communications tools, I manage to keep minimal tabs on her happiness and contentment. Who knows if she does the same with regard to me.

Jordan's posting inspires me to propose a possible change to the "friending" function here at Open Salon.

Here's what Jordan had to say: With a simple declaration of friendship, as agreed upon by both parties...even Open Salon mimics many of the features on Facebook, most notably the "friends" and "edit relationships" function. It seems that these have become necessary to create any semblance of an online "community."

I myself have been active on OS for a few months. I "joined" earlier (my uid=2878), but it wasn't until this fall that I began to transfer my writing here from elsewhere.

As I discovered how the friends tool worked, I decided to treat it as a way to keep up with writers I especially wanted to follow. As helpful as the cover is, it fails to capture all my "favorites" on a consistent basis. I personally prefer favorites to friends, and I've always found the relationship questions to be awkward. As a reminder, this is what that screen looks like...hope it's OK that I use your friends screen, C.O.S.

"Haven't Met" applies to all but two of my current "friends," and those two were "recruited" by me to come aboard. Acquaintance, Friend, Good Friend, and Best Friend are awkward constructs, especially here. I assume everyone I meet is my friend, but I'm not strictly "meeting" anyone, although I'm probably able to discern more from the writing than I would from many other types of encounters.

Just suppose, for a moment, that Joan and Kerry organize an Open Salon at Sea or that dozens of us take the occasion of the Obama inauguration to meet for the first time [Liz, how many air mattresses do you have?]

Afterward, how would we then edit those relationships? Who would come away from the encounter with best friends, and who with new acquaintances? And suppose that when I meet CoyoteOldStyle in the flesh, I crush hard on her and declare that we are now best friends. And she forgets to edit, or "upgrades" me to acquaintance?

So, with only a modicum of seriousness, how about the following hierarchy?

REGULAR READER - This would denote that I like to read this blogger's contributions, but have no real relationship. No reciprocity is expected by either party to the "relationship." No value judgment is made, no endorsement or dismissal, either.

ADMIRER - It says I admire the skill or honesty exhibited in this poster's writing and want to be alerted whenever the blogger births a new post. One benefit of such a tag would be that the "other" blogger wouldn't necessarily have to extend the courtesy in the other direction.

COLLABORATOR - Announces to any who care to know it that I have worked (or intend to work) cooperatively on Open Salon with this blogger and that we share at least some semblance of working compatibility.

CONFIDANT - Says I have an especially close relationship with this blogger, perhaps including frequent non-public communications. I may or may not have physically met the blogger, but we consider ourselves close.

OPPONENT (or FOE) - Denotes that I have a rhetorical opposition that is consistent and can be counted on to challenge this blogger's expressions. It further denotes that some modicum of respect is there, but no like-mindedness.

LUSTPUPPY - This says I have an irrational love for the personality displayed in this blogger's writing and that I may have an unhealthy addiction to him/her/them or to his/her/their writing. Which leads to...

STALKER - I compulsively read this blogger and seek out every word written and actively gather every detail of the blogger's life from what I learn on OS. I comment effusively when this blogger writes, almost always expressing amazement at the genius of the writer, until I turn bitter and become a hostile presence on all the blogger's posts. Law enforcement authorities should be notified and restraining orders should be served.

And why not add a "Check all that apply?"

I'm sure you can offer up your own list. Batter up.