Ingredients:
1 medium red onion, diced
4 ripe avocados, cubed
1 tomato diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
Juice of 1 lime
Salt, to taste

Directions:

Traditional method: (works equally well with 1 person or 2)

Prepare Avocados: slice through the skin and flesh of the Avocados, splitting them lengthwise and twist the halves apart to reveal the pit. Chefs recommend putting the pit-half of the avocado down and using a heavy knife to whack the pit with the blade parallel to the countertop, twist gently to remove. Score the flesh into cubes, and spoon out of skin.

(Foodie Tip: Reserve pits to keep in the dip storage bowl to slow browning.)

Combine avocado cubes with diced onion, lime juice, garlic, tomato, salt. Mash with a fork to desired consistency.

Alternate method, for the adventurous: (Best results achieved when 2 people work together)

Person one: begin to prepare onions, garlic, lime, tomato.
Person two: Have about a pint of bourbon. Prepare avocados, but decide chefs don’t know what they’re talking about and invent a new way: hold the pit-half in your hand and stab the round pit with the knife point creating a much better ‘joystick’ configuration and ‘downshift’ the pit to slide it out of the avocado flesh. Revel in your genius. For the second avocado, be sure to drive the knife clear through the avocado pit, gorily slicing your pinkie finger to a bloody mess.
Person one: hand him a paper towel and ask if person two is ok.
Person two: say, “put this stuff away, get the car keys.”
Person one: freak out just a little bit that your boyfriend is bleeding profusely through his paper towel. Drive to the emergency room, trying not to use un-ladylike vocabulary to express disappointment that the fastest route there is detoured for construction.
Both: spend an hour waiting while continuing to bleed/worry.
Person one: try to remain calm and discuss other topics, to no avail while waiting seemingly eternally to get this cut looked at. Attempt to ignore the History Channel program discussing Ben Franklin's sexcapades.
Person two: finally get back to the treatment area and have a hand surgeon come down and consult with you. She will ask you to make a fist. Bleed a lot when that happens. Sigh with relief when she determines no major harm has been done.
Person one: note that it’s cute how the registration girl is asking if you’re “Hollie,” who apparently accompanied person two to the ER last time. Explain that you are not. Enjoy the blushing of person two. Ask him what happened that time. Try not to laugh at the story. Cringe a little bit when registration girl asks if he has a living will and/or would like the clergy notified that he’s in the hospital today. (Yes, please, pray for us. And also for Ben Franklin's soul.)
Person two: let doctor tell you that he can’t stitch the wound because it will turn black and gross and die and get all goopy and infected and bad. Allow him instead to trim your now ‘spare’ skin (which you were totally just using a few hours ago!) jaggedly with scissors and leave you to bleed and sear in pain until a nurse comes to bandage you up.
Person one: attempt to be comforting while waiting for the nurse. Stroke person two’s hair lovingly, reassuring him that it’s not that bad. (But oh my God, it looks so gory!). Offer to see what's taking so long.
Person two: receive discharge papers before being bandaged up.
Person one: say, “uh, shouldn’t someone cover that wound before we go?”
Person two: try not to seethe at the apparent incompetence of the ER staff.
Both: after spending 3 hours there, exit ER and return home.
Person one: get the stuff back out and continue to prepare guacamole according to traditional method above, while person two pours another drink.

This is a very basic guacamole, but quite tasty. Either method works pretty well. The traditional method is a little more budget-friendly and a tad quicker.