In all of my geekiness, I have Merriam-Webster's Dictionary saved on my toolbar amongst my favorites.  While looking up a word last week, I happened to look over in the sidebar thingy and see that they had compiled a list of "10 Rare and Amusing Insults."  I've listed them below and the words, definitions, and origins are all of Websters.  The "Use" sentences are my own little creations.  So, enjoy them you, ninnyhammered snollygoster!

1. Cockalorum - a boastful and self-important person; a strutting little fellow.  Orig. the obsolete Dutch verb  kockeloroen which means to crow

Use: I mistook his penis to be its very own cockalorum.

2. Lickspittle - a fawning subordinate; a suck up.  Orig. Lick + Spittle = Gross (according to me)

Use: To get an EP around here, you sure have to be a lickspittle!

3. Smellfungus - an excessively faultfinding person.  Orig. The original Smelfungus was a character in an 18th century novel. Smelfungus, a traveler, satirized the author of Travels through France and Italy, a hypercritical guidebook of that time.

Use:  I used to think my mother a smellfungus.  Then, I realized she loved me.

4. Snollygoster - an unprincipled but shrewd person.  Orig. The story of its origin remains unknown, but snollygoster was first used in the nasty politics of 19th century America. One definition of the word dates to 1895, when a newspaper editor explained "a snollygoster is a fellow who wants office, regardless of party, platform or principles...."

Use: That former Alaska governor who is a pro-life feminist, gay rights loving defender of the sanctity of marriage is a snollygoster.

5. Ninnyhammer - ninny, simpleton, fool.  Orig. The word ninny is probably a shortening and alteration of "an innocent" (with the "n" from "an" getting transferred to the noun) and "hammer" adds punch.

Use:  That former Alaska governor who is a pro-life feminist, gay rights loving defender of the sanctity of marriage is a ninnyhammer of a snollygoster.

6. Mumpsimus -  a stubborn person who insists on making an error in spite of being shown it is wrong.  Orig. Supposedly, this insult originated with an illiterate priest who said mumpsimus rather than sumpsimus ("we have taken" in Latin) during mass. When he was corrected, the priest replied that he would not change his old mumpsimus for his critic's new sumpsimus.

Use: Ok, so fine, I could qualify as a mumpsimus at times - however rare they may be.

7.  Milksop - an unmanly man; a mollycoddle (a pampered or effeminate boy or man).  Orig. Milksop literally means "bread soaked in milk." Chaucer was among the earliest to use milksop to describe an unmanly man (presumably one whose fiber had softened). By the way, the modern cousin of milksop, milquetoast, comes from Caspar Milquetoast, a timid cartoon character from the 1920s.

Use: That Boehner could fool me into thinking he's a milksop with all of his fancily colored ties.

8. Hobbledehoy -  an awkward, gawky young man.  Orig. Hobbledehoy rhymes with boy: that's an easy way to remember whom this 16th century term insults. Its origin is unknown, although theories about its ancestry include hobble and hob.

Use:  One really shouldn't make fun of the poor hobbledehoy, it's not his fault he's going through puberty.

 9. Pettifogger - shyster; a lawyer whose methods are underhanded or disreputable.  Orig. The petti part of this word comes from petty, meaning "insignificant" (from the French petit, "small"). As for fogger, it once meant "lawyer" in English. According to one theory, it may come from "Fugger," the name of a successful family of 15th- and 16th-century German merchants and financiers. Germanic variations of "fugger" were used for the wealthy and avaricious, as well as for hucksters.

Use:  Blimey!  You mean to tell me, we've been hoodwinked by yet another ninnyhammered pettifogger?!

10. Mooncalf - a foolish or absentminded person.  Orig. The original mooncalf was a false pregnancy, a growth in the womb supposedly influenced by a bad moon. Mooncalf then grew a sense outside the womb: simpleton. It also morphed into a literary word for a deformed monster. For instance, in Shakespeare's The Tempest, Stephano entreats Caliban, "Mooncalf, speak once in your life, if thou beest a good mooncalf."

Use: I'm such a mooncalf today.