- Seattle, Washington,
- August 28
- I'm a middle-aged dad, clinging to my daughters' waning youth and my sanity.
MY RECENT POSTS
- The Fanny Diaries
August 14, 2014 12:55PM
- Abby, Dear.
August 06, 2014 05:09PM
- Such Sweet, Sometimes
Sickening, Summer Songs
July 30, 2014 05:36PM
- Oreos for Breakfast.
July 21, 2014 06:04PM
- If You Do Go, Bring Your Louis
July 09, 2014 09:40PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
So sorry to
hear about your daughter.
Thank you for sharing
August 16, 2014 11:16AM
- “Thanks, Marilyn. You're
August 14, 2014 05:17PM
- “Jane, you really do know
August 07, 2014 12:06PM
- “Lyle, I almost put
something from Rumours in
1977—so many to
July 30, 2014 07:47PM
- “Lyle, you're so very
correct on that. Freaking
July 03, 2014 11:47AM
Reflections of a shallow pond's Links
- MY LINKS
So let me get this straight. The Iraq war is officially over.
Just like that.
Did someone simply walk around one last time to make sure the oven was turned off and the iron was unplugged, tilted the blinds, turned on the porch light,/…
T minus one week to go—this is when things get serious.
Up until now, Christmas preparations have jogged along, with a three-quarter sprint a couple of weeks ago for tree procuring and hall decking. Since then, a few online presents ordered here, some gift cards purchased there, but no… Read full post »
"Oh, my God. There he is!" I elbowed Corey in the arm a little
too hard. "It's him!"
By now, most of the fans in our immediate area had pivoted their gaze away from the field of play and onto the celebrity who stood mere feet away behind… Read full post »
"Really? Really, Coach? Can I? Yes! Don't you remember, though? I'm not very athletic. I just help you think up plays. And I don't have a helmet because we couldn't find one big enough to fit my recess-ball-sized… Read full post »
I noted that she had dressed herself for the day… Read full post »
It wasn't just any weekend.
It was that weekend.
Tape, very small nails, electricity, butt cracks...you heard me, but I'll get to that later.
After flirting last year with the notion of a prosthetic tree, my family and I opted to go the unnatural natural route, because, even though we… Read full post »
I'll just get to the point on this one, since it's so insulting
on so many levels.
After never having allowed women membership on its country's Olympic team, the Saudi Arabian Olympic Committee has decided to finally allow females to compete.
Good news, no?
Well, not really. It's not like… Read full post »
Throughout human history, our natural world, in all its beauty
and complexity, has revealed some formidable bonds—hot
fudge to white Capri pants, Bubble Yum to freshly permed
hair—and the fiercest adhesion of all...that of mother to her
The maternal instinct: Holy sweet mot… Read full post »
Can't come soon enough, then it passes too quickly.
My wife and I (Shall I call her "Ms. Shallow Pond?" Nope.) get some time away about as often as Rick Perry says, "Gull durn it, maybe I am dumber than an Easter basket full of skin tags," so it was really/… Read full post »
Memphis prided himself on zero percent backtracking at the grocery store. He knew the establishment like the front of his hand; Whole Foods was indeed his bitch and he loathed swimmin…
It's not lost on me that that my cozy, little corner of the blogosphere regularly dishes out a heapin' helpin' of yarns about my experiences at the gym.
Most don't contain subject matter you'd want to peruse while prying off the plastic lid to enjoy the… Read full post »
Perish the thought of getting myself clumped in with other colossal two-faced charlatans, like the meth-snorting Pentecostal preacher who seemed to think he could exorcise the gay out of himself by c/…
Wow, that’s a lot to live up to, especially if you’re Bradley Cooper, who’s been selected by People Weekly as the hunkiest hunk of hunkiness to hunker in the annals of… Read full post »
Perry: Herman, my man! How you doin', brother?
Cain: Well, hello, Rick. It's interesting that I'm the only g…
I think I must be missing something.
Maybe it's my advancing age. Maybe I'm one of those outlying planets, like Uranus or Pluto, which orbits so far from the sun that it takes fifteen years to find out what happened last Thursday.
I suppose I'm a little sensitive because I work in… Read full post »
Most of my stories are attempts at pointing out the
silliness, the absurdity, of the human condition; my usual
goal is to amuse and hopefully make you chuckle a bit.
This is not one of those posts.
We've all witnessed events in which we are required to make moral decisions.&nb… Read full post »
The term "fan" is an abbreviation, one which derives from the
polysyllabic word, "fanatic."
How accurate, indeed. Fans truly are fanatics. As such, I really don't consider those who share passing fancies for particular artists or teams fans. They're fanciers.
And to insert the crazy peg into a higher… Read full post »
Unemployment is teetering on ten percent, income disparity has expanded to levels unseen since the nineteenth century's Gilded Age and the American economy is dipping her toes into a second, frigid recessional pool.
Oh, and one other thing: Vegas is suffering&md/… Read full post »
November 1—it's a cold morning for most of us.
And downright frosty for others.
It's a day of transition, a day burdened by the half-filled waterbed mattress of reality which some are compelled to bend over and hoist.
For a man named Herman Cain, an ill-advised, new campaign slogan… Read full post »
Today, I'd like to ask your advice on something, because I'm
feeling...a little inadequate.
I often utilize this forum to rail against America's political system and it's participants, usually as seen through my fogged up, lefty colored lenses.
Which is why I'm experiencing some pointy/… Read full post »
You've probably already decided, now that the big event is
single-digit days away, what you're going to be for Halloween. Oh,
really? You haven't?
Well, certainly, if you've got kids, they probably nailed down back in August what or whom would possess their souls on the final day… Read full post »
"Hi, guys I'm home."
It was just after 1:00 AM. We always ask our teenager to duck her head into our bedroom door when she comes home, and it never ceases to put my mind at ease and facilitate a far more restful parental slumber.
"Can I go watch s/
Wow, finally. After forty-two years as supreme ruler of the nation of Libya, after scores of shady undertakings and downright murder, Colonel Moammar Gadhafi has succumbed to the same violence he nonchalantly doled out since clamping down on the dictatorial reins in 1969.
My Dear Daughters,
You're each growing up so very fast. I'd like to discuss a subject with you before my opportunity to address it has evaporated.
What I'm talking about isn't new; in fact, this conversation has undoubtedly been waged over thousands of years among millions of/… Read full post »
Prepare yourself. Here comes Captain Analogy again, swooping down to spin yet another unsolicited parable.
When you played soccer as a kid, do you remember a conditioning drill where everyone jogged around the field in a straight line? The player in the back of the line sprinted to the front,… Read full post »