- Seattle, Washington,
- August 28
- I'm a middle-aged dad, clinging to my daughters' waning youth and my sanity.
MY RECENT POSTS
- The Ballad of Trip Fallwell.
December 12, 2014 05:49PM
- Teaching Our Children the
Merits of Inactivism.
December 05, 2014 06:43PM
- Third Cousin, One's Removed.
November 04, 2014 02:38PM
- Halloween Season: When Every
Day is Payday.
October 21, 2014 03:55PM
- It's Man Crush Friday!
October 10, 2014 01:54PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Thanks, Jane. We can all
learn from walking a mile in
November 04, 2014 06:45PM
- “Lyle, I like the way you
think. It's a form
October 21, 2014 06:22PM
- “James, I've seen a few
clips of that crazy governor.
thought Maine was
October 10, 2014 05:31PM
- “Hi Jane,
I think I
misspelled it. It's supposed
October 10, 2014 02:06PM
- “Oops, sorry. I meant
September 12, 2014 12:55PM
Reflections of a shallow pond's Links
- MY LINKS
I'm always thankful I'm not tipped off to these situations in
Yesterday, I arrived ten minutes early for doctor's appointment and took a seat in her waiting room. No big deal, right? Waiting in waiting rooms is part of the whole doctor appointment ritual usually they're… Read full post »
That's one of my favorite lines ever.
It's so accurate, whether, as with Mr. Tyson, it literally refers to one of his long history of fallen tomato can opponents, or more figuratively referencing…
A question for you: Is it acceptable to judge others' judgmental
Or am I asking you to judge my judgment of others' judgementalism?
I'm losing you, aren't I?
Anyway, a common subject of my writing is certain people's unflinching desires to hurl moral medicine balls into our lower… Read full post »
Each time I post a piece to this profound journal of the mundane, I'm left with a residual feeling, a taste, if you will.
After expounding about my children's exploits, the leftover flavor can be a bitter sweet bouquet of guilt, shame and liberation/… Read full post »
I'm worn as her tooth brush hanging in the stand.
My face ain't looking any younger
Now I can see love's taken her toll on me.
She's gone. Oh I, oh I'd
Better learn how to face it.
She's gone. Oh I, oh… Read full post »
Hello, 2012. Or, should I say, "Welcome back."
For many of us, it's our first day back—to work, to school, to daycare, back to pants which fit better on the last day before the first day of the vacation which led up to the first day back.
Naturally,… Read full post »
We've been sitting at the railroad crossing for nearly a year
now, fiddling with the car radio. Finally, the candy cane colored
arms hoist themselves, and the caboose materializes out of the
haze, signaling an end to the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand
I'm not going to sum up an… Read full post »
How would you describe what's been going on in your world for the past week? I've been rattling my oxidizing grey matter to describe the sequence of events which follows Christmas, and the best description is what I'll call the "Alfredo Analogy."
Have you ever di/… Read full post »
Our staff has worked tirelessly in compiling this year's winners, and similarly to Pondie's wealthy yet emasculated second cousin Oscar, we believe that everyone deserves a trophy—you know, like T-ball.
Unfortunately, however, whil/…
So let me get this straight. The Iraq war is officially over.
Just like that.
Did someone simply walk around one last time to make sure the oven was turned off and the iron was unplugged, tilted the blinds, turned on the porch light,/…
T minus one week to go—this is when things get serious.
Up until now, Christmas preparations have jogged along, with a three-quarter sprint a couple of weeks ago for tree procuring and hall decking. Since then, a few online presents ordered here, some gift cards purchased there, but no… Read full post »
"Oh, my God. There he is!" I elbowed Corey in the arm a little
too hard. "It's him!"
By now, most of the fans in our immediate area had pivoted their gaze away from the field of play and onto the celebrity who stood mere feet away behind… Read full post »
"Really? Really, Coach? Can I? Yes! Don't you remember, though? I'm not very athletic. I just help you think up plays. And I don't have a helmet because we couldn't find one big enough to fit my recess-ball-sized… Read full post »
I noted that she had dressed herself for the day… Read full post »
It wasn't just any weekend.
It was that weekend.
Tape, very small nails, electricity, butt cracks...you heard me, but I'll get to that later.
After flirting last year with the notion of a prosthetic tree, my family and I opted to go the unnatural natural route, because, even though we… Read full post »
I'll just get to the point on this one, since it's so insulting
on so many levels.
After never having allowed women membership on its country's Olympic team, the Saudi Arabian Olympic Committee has decided to finally allow females to compete.
Good news, no?
Well, not really. It's not like… Read full post »
Throughout human history, our natural world, in all its beauty
and complexity, has revealed some formidable bonds—hot
fudge to white Capri pants, Bubble Yum to freshly permed
hair—and the fiercest adhesion of all...that of mother to her
The maternal instinct: Holy sweet mot… Read full post »
Can't come soon enough, then it passes too quickly.
My wife and I (Shall I call her "Ms. Shallow Pond?" Nope.) get some time away about as often as Rick Perry says, "Gull durn it, maybe I am dumber than an Easter basket full of skin tags," so it was really/… Read full post »
Memphis prided himself on zero percent backtracking at the grocery store. He knew the establishment like the front of his hand; Whole Foods was indeed his bitch and he loathed swimmin…
It's not lost on me that that my cozy, little corner of the blogosphere regularly dishes out a heapin' helpin' of yarns about my experiences at the gym.
Most don't contain subject matter you'd want to peruse while prying off the plastic lid to enjoy the… Read full post »
Perish the thought of getting myself clumped in with other colossal two-faced charlatans, like the meth-snorting Pentecostal preacher who seemed to think he could exorcise the gay out of himself by c/…
Wow, that’s a lot to live up to, especially if you’re Bradley Cooper, who’s been selected by People Weekly as the hunkiest hunk of hunkiness to hunker in the annals of… Read full post »
Perry: Herman, my man! How you doin', brother?
Cain: Well, hello, Rick. It's interesting that I'm the only g…
I think I must be missing something.
Maybe it's my advancing age. Maybe I'm one of those outlying planets, like Uranus or Pluto, which orbits so far from the sun that it takes fifteen years to find out what happened last Thursday.
I suppose I'm a little sensitive because I work in… Read full post »
Most of my stories are attempts at pointing out the
silliness, the absurdity, of the human condition; my usual
goal is to amuse and hopefully make you chuckle a bit.
This is not one of those posts.
We've all witnessed events in which we are required to make moral decisions.&nb… Read full post »