- Seattle, Washington,
- August 28
- I'm a middle-aged dad, clinging to my daughters' waning youth and my sanity.
MY RECENT POSTS
- When Bad Thoughts Lead to Bad
September 18, 2014 03:01PM
- A Few Questions About That
September 11, 2014 05:20PM
- The Sweat Life.
September 05, 2014 05:02PM
- Let Them Eat Crab.
August 26, 2014 03:24PM
- The Fanny Diaries
August 14, 2014 12:55PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Oops, sorry. I meant
September 12, 2014 12:55PM
- “Just T.,
remember trying to act normal
around two kids; can't
September 12, 2014 11:41AM
- “Wow. That's an amazing
story. Congratulations on
happen like that! I
September 12, 2014 11:22AM
- “Monkey, just as a side
note, how cool is it to have
ex-husband be your
September 12, 2014 11:14AM
So sorry to
hear about your daughter.
Thank you for sharing
August 16, 2014 11:16AM
Reflections of a shallow pond's Links
- MY LINKS
Hello, 2012. Or, should I say, "Welcome back."
For many of us, it's our first day back—to work, to school, to daycare, back to pants which fit better on the last day before the first day of the vacation which led up to the first day back.
Naturally,… Read full post »
We've been sitting at the railroad crossing for nearly a year
now, fiddling with the car radio. Finally, the candy cane colored
arms hoist themselves, and the caboose materializes out of the
haze, signaling an end to the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand
I'm not going to sum up an… Read full post »
How would you describe what's been going on in your world for the past week? I've been rattling my oxidizing grey matter to describe the sequence of events which follows Christmas, and the best description is what I'll call the "Alfredo Analogy."
Have you ever di/… Read full post »
Our staff has worked tirelessly in compiling this year's winners, and similarly to Pondie's wealthy yet emasculated second cousin Oscar, we believe that everyone deserves a trophy—you know, like T-ball.
Unfortunately, however, whil/…
So let me get this straight. The Iraq war is officially over.
Just like that.
Did someone simply walk around one last time to make sure the oven was turned off and the iron was unplugged, tilted the blinds, turned on the porch light,/…
T minus one week to go—this is when things get serious.
Up until now, Christmas preparations have jogged along, with a three-quarter sprint a couple of weeks ago for tree procuring and hall decking. Since then, a few online presents ordered here, some gift cards purchased there, but no… Read full post »
"Oh, my God. There he is!" I elbowed Corey in the arm a little
too hard. "It's him!"
By now, most of the fans in our immediate area had pivoted their gaze away from the field of play and onto the celebrity who stood mere feet away behind… Read full post »
"Really? Really, Coach? Can I? Yes! Don't you remember, though? I'm not very athletic. I just help you think up plays. And I don't have a helmet because we couldn't find one big enough to fit my recess-ball-sized… Read full post »
I noted that she had dressed herself for the day… Read full post »
It wasn't just any weekend.
It was that weekend.
Tape, very small nails, electricity, butt cracks...you heard me, but I'll get to that later.
After flirting last year with the notion of a prosthetic tree, my family and I opted to go the unnatural natural route, because, even though we… Read full post »
I'll just get to the point on this one, since it's so insulting
on so many levels.
After never having allowed women membership on its country's Olympic team, the Saudi Arabian Olympic Committee has decided to finally allow females to compete.
Good news, no?
Well, not really. It's not like… Read full post »
Throughout human history, our natural world, in all its beauty
and complexity, has revealed some formidable bonds—hot
fudge to white Capri pants, Bubble Yum to freshly permed
hair—and the fiercest adhesion of all...that of mother to her
The maternal instinct: Holy sweet mot… Read full post »
Can't come soon enough, then it passes too quickly.
My wife and I (Shall I call her "Ms. Shallow Pond?" Nope.) get some time away about as often as Rick Perry says, "Gull durn it, maybe I am dumber than an Easter basket full of skin tags," so it was really/… Read full post »
Memphis prided himself on zero percent backtracking at the grocery store. He knew the establishment like the front of his hand; Whole Foods was indeed his bitch and he loathed swimmin…
It's not lost on me that that my cozy, little corner of the blogosphere regularly dishes out a heapin' helpin' of yarns about my experiences at the gym.
Most don't contain subject matter you'd want to peruse while prying off the plastic lid to enjoy the… Read full post »
Perish the thought of getting myself clumped in with other colossal two-faced charlatans, like the meth-snorting Pentecostal preacher who seemed to think he could exorcise the gay out of himself by c/…
Wow, that’s a lot to live up to, especially if you’re Bradley Cooper, who’s been selected by People Weekly as the hunkiest hunk of hunkiness to hunker in the annals of… Read full post »
Perry: Herman, my man! How you doin', brother?
Cain: Well, hello, Rick. It's interesting that I'm the only g…
I think I must be missing something.
Maybe it's my advancing age. Maybe I'm one of those outlying planets, like Uranus or Pluto, which orbits so far from the sun that it takes fifteen years to find out what happened last Thursday.
I suppose I'm a little sensitive because I work in… Read full post »
Most of my stories are attempts at pointing out the
silliness, the absurdity, of the human condition; my usual
goal is to amuse and hopefully make you chuckle a bit.
This is not one of those posts.
We've all witnessed events in which we are required to make moral decisions.&nb… Read full post »
The term "fan" is an abbreviation, one which derives from the
polysyllabic word, "fanatic."
How accurate, indeed. Fans truly are fanatics. As such, I really don't consider those who share passing fancies for particular artists or teams fans. They're fanciers.
And to insert the crazy peg into a higher… Read full post »
Unemployment is teetering on ten percent, income disparity has expanded to levels unseen since the nineteenth century's Gilded Age and the American economy is dipping her toes into a second, frigid recessional pool.
Oh, and one other thing: Vegas is suffering&md/… Read full post »
November 1—it's a cold morning for most of us.
And downright frosty for others.
It's a day of transition, a day burdened by the half-filled waterbed mattress of reality which some are compelled to bend over and hoist.
For a man named Herman Cain, an ill-advised, new campaign slogan… Read full post »
Today, I'd like to ask your advice on something, because I'm
feeling...a little inadequate.
I often utilize this forum to rail against America's political system and it's participants, usually as seen through my fogged up, lefty colored lenses.
Which is why I'm experiencing some pointy/… Read full post »
You've probably already decided, now that the big event is
single-digit days away, what you're going to be for Halloween. Oh,
really? You haven't?
Well, certainly, if you've got kids, they probably nailed down back in August what or whom would possess their souls on the final day… Read full post »
Reflections of a shallow pond's Favorites