Sunday I hosted the weekly Indigo Lotus Buddhism Group. The topic was The 8 fold path. It's sort of a roadmap that The Buddha invented for living a happy and more compassionate life.
One of the truths is "Right Speech".

I love to gossip. Oh, I dismiss it and rename it. "This isn't gossip, because it's true." Or, "It's not malicious, it's just true". As my friend Susan says, "Maybe it's just a Parable" :)

No, it's gossip. And I catch myself doing it alot.

Hosting a Buddhism group makes you think about how you treat others. I am not the Dalai Lama and I don't feel compassion at every moment for all sentient beings. Gossip is the problem with me and I continually need to work on stopping. There is no 12 step for my mouth, no support group. I need to work on it all by myself. It's my responsibility. I usually do not catch that negative action as it happens, but later while doing replays of the day before bed.

It's kind of like remembering you had decided to lose weight, but not remembering until AFTER you've had that 3rd slice of pizza.

It's all about timing.

The interesting thing about trying to follow a path is that the more you remind yourself of what is the better thing to do, the quicker you catch yourself messing up. Used to be I felt nothing after "parablizing". (New word, write it down..) Now, I immediately feel it. Not like guilt, it's not the same. It's just when I hear the words coming out of my face, I know I have just said an unkind thing. Of course the person I have been gossiping about is not here and is unaware. But I'm here, and trying to get "aware".
And that stings. Because, it really doesn't harm the person being talked about, it just sets me back in my path toward enlightenment.

Oh, and here's the good part. It also sets the person back to whom I am telling the story to.

So, I've managed to set a negative wheel in motion that may not stop. Because the person I gossiped to may tell someone else. And so on, and so on...

Well great. I got a minute of attention, and some sort of smug satisfaction by gossiping and caused a reaction of negativity. I am so happy with myself.

I had 3 Daiquiris on Saturday night. I smoked an entire pack of cigarettes that day. Even though I am not proud of that, I honestly don't feel badly about it. It did not set me back on my path.
Gossip does.
It hurts me and others.

So the point is..yes there is a point. I'm working on it. And if I gossiped to you, I apologize. And if I gossiped about you, I apologize. And, hey ME, I apologize.

Anyhoo, if we're hanging out, and I am quieter than usual, or I stop myself mid-sentence, please realize, I am trying to get back to the path :)

Sending you Love, Light and Laughter,
Star