As I watched news coverage of the Tucson shootings and saw pictures of that delightful child Christina Green, I felt deep dismay, a sense of deja vu, and even a touch of post-traumatic stress syndrome.    Sadly, these shootings seem much more real since losing my son in the 1999 Columbine massacre.

Human nature being what it is, there will undoubtedly be some thoughtless remarks and occasional slips of the tongue directed at Christina's parents.  I found myself reflecting upon some that were directed at me:

"So what do you do all day -- mope around the house?" -- from my son's pediatrician.

"How come you never had me over for dinner?" -- from our parish priest.

"What were you praying for?  You must have said the wrong prayers." -- from a fellow parishioner in the receiving line at my son's funeral.

"You should snap out of it because something else bad could happen to one of your other family members, you know!" -- from a "spiritual" counselor less than a year after the murder.

"It's been ten years!"  -- said to me by an acquaintance after I broke down one day the week of what would have been my son's 25th birthday.

Someone even had the gall to quote Louis L'Amour:   "There will come a time when you believe everything is finished.  Yet that will be just the beginning." --  from an acquaintance.  (Love the pontificating -- trust me, your child's death will not feel like nor will it ever be, a "beginning.")  And isn't there somebody out there more quotable than Louis L'Amour?!

"My sister didn't get a thank you note for her memorial gift yet."  -- from my Aunt Connie, about 6 weeks after the murders.  (Sorry, Aunt Connie, we've only gotten about 4,000 pieces of mail from all over the country, countless phone calls and even had a reporter from Indonesia tapping on our front door.  Not to mention that it's still hard to even get out of bed in the morning.)

My wish is for peace and healing for the family of Christina Green.  There is a difficult journey ahead.