Pandorum- Don't Fear the End of the World.  Fear What Happens Next

After a disappointing summer of movies (discluding some of the comedic gems like "The Hangover" and "500 Days of Summer), this fall looks like it could easily make up for some of the craptastic turds that were delivered to us over the last few months.  Here is what I think you should spend your hard earned recession cash on this week.

I was just as skeptical as everyone else when I saw it was from the same producers as the "Resident Evil" series (let's face it, the first one was decent at best and the next two were steaming shit sandwiches), but after the trailers and some blog-o-sphere chatter reading, this should be a good film.  With Dennis Quaid (damn him for "G.I. Joe, Rise of Cobra" but "Vantage Point" was amazing) and Ben Foster (crazy tattooed, pierced guy from the first "Punisher"), the acting probably won't suck that much.  Plus, the concept seems to take the whole 'stranded in space with weird aliens/ mutated humans' angle to a new level.  In case you haven't been ale to decipher what the hell this movie is about, 2 guys wake up from deep sleep in space thinking the rest of the crew is gone.  Reality is they have turned into killer beings and then some of the rest of the crew (Ante Traeu who reminds me of Milla Jovovich, and Norman Reedus of "Boondock Saints" and help-me-god-i-think-i-just-got-a-chubby "Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day) is also alive and fighting to stay that way.  I am excited about this movie and you should be too!

Surrogates- How do you save humanity when the only thing that's real is you?

I like Bruce Willis.  When I think of how awful "Live Free or Die Hard" was, my mind goes back to a simpler time in John McClaine's life when all he had to worry about was some pissed off Russians and maybe some pissed off black people (think "Die Hard With a Vengeance") and all is forgiven.  Or "The Fifth Element".  Now comes "Surrogates", from the same director as the guy who almost got "Terminator 3" right, but didn't.  Based on a graphic novel (which has become all the rage to do, and I'm only mildly complaining) my first impression was "The Matrix" meets "Total Recall" meets every 'now you must fix humanity by yourself' film.  And I must say, it looks good.  Having not read the graphic novel, I can't be one of those annoying fan boys like I was for "The Watchmen" (which I thought was great; all those guys complaining about the ending and how it was changed need to realize that by doing so, Zak Snyder ensured that movie didn't earn a Razzie) so this is based purely on my thoughts of the trailers and internet buzz.  In a world where people live their lives through robotic 'surrogates', murder ceases to exist.  Until one day, then all hell breaks loose.  Agent Greer (Willis) discovers some crazy plot to do something horrible to humanity, and it's on!  A decent supporting cast (to include Jordan Belfi who plays the only guy that can make Ari Gold shit his pants Adam Davies on "Entourage"), solid special effects and Mr. Willis in the lead, this looks to be one crazy film.  

And now for a film that causes such a strong gag reflex, I would rather watch Tom Delay perform his remaining performances on "Dancing with the Stars" nude (assuming I would waste my time on that shit) then be forced to see this movie....

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

I liked the book.  A lot.  It was funny, sarcastic, mean, all about drinking and sleeping with lots of women; what's not to like?  That being said, this looks like his failed attempt at re-writing one of the 'not-as-good' portions of the book into a feature film to regain some celebrity status.  It doesn't work.  With a no name director and lead (he's been on the "Gilmore Girls" for like 50 episodes) and an unimpressive support (the guy who plays Madden with Vince Vaughn in "The Breakup" and the guy who wasn't the lead or Matthew Lillard in "Hackers") this looks like it should have been titled National Lampoons: Tries to Make a Funny Book into a Shitty Movie.  Run away.  And if your dating a guy who thinks the two of you should go see this; a: break up with him IMMEDIATLEY, stage 5 douchebag on radar and b: how you doin?

That's all for now, be sure to check back next week when I personally review or steal my friend's thoughts on these films.