Some people are annoyed that "Open", as Sloan calls it, is using advertising to make ends meet. Me, I'm annoyed at the people who are annoyed. This seems like a pose to me. Listen up, because I'm only going to say this once: it's called a scroll bar; you'll find it on the right-hand-side of the browser window.

 Some other poses that annoy me:

(1) Moral posing. On the right this takes the form of people who thought nothing of deposing Bill Clinton (in more ways than one), but who get off on praising the lord as they pass the ammunition.  Our Lord God Almighty is not a Republican! On the left, these are the same morons who become vegetarian for "moral reasons". This, and any other form of food snobbery. Bah!

(2) People who think they're cooler than thou because they live in some 90 year old house in South Austin and deride those of us who truck it in from the suburbs.  Oh, yeah? Well, all my light sockets and electrical outlets work and none of my windows are painted shut, asshole. 78704 is not a "way of life". It's just a neighborhood with high property values and tear downs, and crowded with people who abuse the city council agenda for petty zoning matters.

 (3)  Anyone who says--in the middle of a political discussion they are losing-- (and I quote) "well, this is still the greatest country on earth." Don't try to sell me that after the wholesale lawlessness of the Bush administration. The Constitution has more than two amendments, Clem: check out amendment #4, sometime, and then we'll talk!

(4) Striking hotel workers in San Francisco  who push me off the sidewalk as I am leaving my hotel. Look, I'm trying to get the hell out of your ma-fucking city. I didn't know there was a strike when I got here; I'm from out of town, Junebug, staying on the government dime, and made up the difference out o' my own pocket. I don't have the luxury of switching to some other hotel that y'all aren't picketing. That's just stupid. I used to be a labor liberal until you creepy strikers kept me up all night with your drumming and shouted insults at me every time I step through the revolving door. Fuck all y'all! Oh, and the police union that lets you get away with that shit: fuck them too! And that fucking Mayor Newsome can kiss my ass. Why Sloan lets his staff write crap and publish it under his byline is beyond my comprehension. And the hotel, who nevertheless charged me the full rate, after their scab staff couldn't even make the beds 2 out f 5 nights!!

(5)  People who feign outrage that I, a married man, might even imagine having sex outside my marriage.  And the next person who calls me a "woman hater" will be censored. (The first one already used the free ticket on that.) Especially if I look at their blog and notice how they are using their sex to get page hits.

(6)  Anyone who grew up in the South who claims not to harbor any racism. That's a laugh! Tell me you don't have a racist bone in your body, whitey! Wait! Let me count the black faces walking out of your little church in the wildwood, Cool Breeze, when you and your little woman are hightailing it to Luby's in the Suburban... Zero!

(7)  Lazy ass editors who aren't reading all the great shit here on OS, who are instead promoting writers and not writing.

(8)  Anybody who threatens to flounce and then sticks around.

(9)  The next person who invites me to play Mafia Wars.

(10) Patronizing green card geniuses from foreign lands who won't shut up and listen. You're not that Goddamned smart. Okay, well maybe you are, but it doesn't fucking matter. You won't be so smug if they don't renew your green card.

(11) Does anybody think for a second that I didn't have me some Farrah hair, too?

(12) And somebody explain to me why Kerry Lauerman's eyeball is the first thing I see at the top of My Favorites. Kerry is not, to my knowledge, having any trouble staying in the feed. And why won't he show us his other eyeball? What's he hiding??

(13) People who used to be famous, like 20 years ago, but who think they still are, so they won't put up a FaceBook page or talk to you on the street, because they're just too cool to hang with regular people. You know who you are!

(14) And all you ladies: if you're going to show your tits, then show your tits. Ablonde set the example for everybody on this one. And Dakini Dancer, may she rest in peace, put herself out there near the end in a way that was both dignified and sexy. I don't want to read about your landing strip: that's just a tease and a come on. As my buddy Andre might say "Now I wanna see y'all on y'all baddest behavior.Lend me some suga', I am your neighbor".